Coming Home
by bina W
Summary: Coming Home. J/C story. What will it take for Admiral Janeway to lose to see that Chakotay IS meant for her? contain MATURE CONTENT. Revised/reposted to grammar and erasing chpaters 13-28. I had to repost ch 37 due to a mistake.
1. Chapter 1

Chakotay was standing by her side as she just given the orders to set a course for home

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Revised for grammar.

**Note: Coming Home. J/C story. What will it take for Admiral Janeway to  
lose to see that Chakotay IS meant for her? Chapters 8-12 and chapters  
17-21,24-25 and 29 and 30-31 contain MATURE CONTENT.**

Chakotay was standing by her side as she just given the orders to set a course for home.

Lt. Paris replied; "Yes, Captain."

He could barely hear above the ruckus of the others on the bridge crew. It sounded like Harry Kim was slapping high fives with Tom Paris.

Tuvok, who was Vulcan, did not bother cracking a smile on his chocolate colored face, but Chakotay thought he did detect a momentary look of what amounted to pleasure for a Vulcan out of the corner of his eye. However he could not be sure. When he did a double take at the Vulcan, he was only rewarded with a nod of acknowledge.

He could hear B'Elanna Torres, the Chief Engineer come on the bridge. The engineer had a distinctive walking style, very graceful. She often looked as if she glided across the room, as opposed to walking. The first officer suppressed a chuckle at thought that glided and graceful were not words one normally associated with a Klingon. But then again B'Elanna was half Klingon. She was an extremely gifted engineer. He knew she was the one of the best in Starfleet. Okay, she was not technically Starfleet; she was a former Maquis officer.

But Starfleet had yet to say what the future was for the former Maquis officers. He assumed that with their record in the Delta Quadrant, they would hopefully not spend the rest of the time incarcerated. He knew Janeway's voice would carry a great deal of weight. But a part of him was scared; not that he was going to admit it.

Before he could turn to offer his hand to her, he felt the hand of another crew member's slip around his right hand. The hand was partly covered with Borg technology. To him, the metal felt cold. He did not have the heart to hurt her and did not pull away. However, he did not return the squeeze the hand gave him either.

He could feel Janeway look in his direction. When he finally got the courage to look at her, he was stunned at what he saw. She had an expression of disbelief mixed with a look of betrayal. It took all his control not to stare at her. He nodded briefly at her, then let go of Seven of Nine's hand and sat down in the first officer's chair.

As he leaned back in his chair, he could not get over the look she had given him. She had been pushing him away for years. She had the nerve! He had heard 'dismissed' so many times he was beginning to think that was his rank. His official rank was Commander.

He should have been able to appreciate going home, but he could feel no joy. He looked at her again, but she refused to look back. When she finally did look, he gave her a poisonous smile and left the bridge.

The other officers on the bridge pretended to be engrossed in their stations and ignored the scene. The Captain gestured Tuvok towards the command chair and took off after Chakotay.


	2. Chapter 3

Chapter3

Chapter3

Revised for grammar.

Meet the Brass

Janeway walked down the ramp, Chakotay on one side and Tuvok on other. There was so much noise from all the people that had come out to greet her and her crew; she could barely hear herself think. Thirty seconds later, the rest of the senior crew exited the starship. Off to the side as Admiral Paris was vigorously shaking her hand, the rest of the crew emerged, in pairs of four. As she looked around, she tried to control a feeling of light headedness.

She had a hard time focusing to Admiral Paris, as she was feeling overwhelmed. There were dozens of Starfleet officers, many admirals, press, and members of the crew's families as well friends.

"Welcome home Katie. You did it. You have done the impossible." He winked past her and joked. "You are proof that resistance is not futile."

She did not look back for her instincts told her that Paris had winked at Seven as she was approaching the colossal crowd. As Seven of Nine patiently waited to speak to her Janeway, Irene Hansen hugged her niece.

"I am so happy to see you! It has been almost decades."

Irene Hansen was so excited she gave Own Paris a hug and a peck on the cheek. Janeway just gave the elder Paris a wink as he hugged back Ms. Hansen.

Before her mentor had time to do anything else, B'Elanna Torres handed a squealing, wriggling bundle to her father in law, as she hugged Janeway and then Tom again. Owen Paris's eyes widened with sheer joy as he held up granddaughter to get a better look at her.

Tuvok and his wife TPel caught Janeway's eyes and nodded in understanding. Tuvok and his wife were surrounded by two dark skinned Vulcan men who both had a woman and a toddler standing next to each of them. Janeway returned the gesture, with no hint of jealousy as she took in what she knew to be Tuvok's grandchildren.

Meanwhile, Harry Kim ran not so gracefully and launched himself into the outstretched arms of his mother. His dad hurriedly backed out of the way so that his son would not knock him over. Standing next to his dad was an elegant looking Asian whom Janeway assumed was his old girlfriend, Libby. She was holding what she assumed was Kim's old clarinet case.

She turned around in time to see Irene Hanson pinch Chakotay's cheeks. His response was to shrug at his best friend. Janeway just nodded a moment before she was overwhelmed by the combination of twenty voices screaming her name. As if the press was not enough, she was simultaneously suffocated with several admirals who tried to compete for her attention all at one time. Admiral Paris had to cut interviews so that Gretchen, her mother, and Phoebe, her sister, could finally approach their relative. After a long moment of tears and hugs from her family, she turned her head to search for Chakotay. But Irene Hanson had her arms around her niece and Chakotay. Janeway mentally searched herself to see if she felt anything and found she felt nothing.

Her mentor chose at that moment to announce that pictures with the press would have to wait till later and invited the crew and their families and friends to a Starfleet banquet that was to be held in two hours.

Chakotay managed to get himself free from Seven's aunt and held up a finger to them as he approached Janeway. But she had closed the door on him or he had closed the door on them, she could not decide. She reminded herself that she had closed out all possibilities with him the moment she had exited the ready room. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her mother and sister and left.

Chakotay's heart sank and he swallowed very, very hard.


	3. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 The Musings of An Indian

Chapter 4 The Musings of An Indian

Revised and reposted due to grammar.

Chakotay felt as if his world was ending and his heart was on fire. He knew he loved her. He did not love Seven of Nine. Sure, she was sexy and she was so smart. However, her smarts had come with a price. The lives, sweat, tears and despair of thousands of worlds that the Borg had assimilated. He knew he was being unfair in blaming her for that. It was not like she ever had a choice. It was her parents who had failed her. They just had to chase a single Borg ship across the galaxy and into the worm whole that led to the Delta Quadrant. As he processed all this yet again, he repressed the need to curse in his native tongue. Blonde and well endowed. What guy would not want a girl like her?

He mentally cursed in his native tongue and resisted the urge to smack himself in the forehead with his hand. Kathryn was slender and shorter than Seven. Chakotay could comfortably rest his chin on the Captain's head. He could not remember when the last time he had done that. Seven was half his age, and Janeway was in her forties. But she was still capable of bearing children. Chakotay could barely move his one foot in front of the other as that thought came to him. Seven could have children also. He shook his head hard, trying to stop that train of thoughts.

His mind raced, comparing the two while his heart told him at the same time that Seven had no place in his life other than as a friend. The raw overload of emotions threatened his self control. He needed to mediate and talk to his spirit guide but of course in this crowd was not the time or place.

He grinned to himself. He knew he loved the Kathryn, but he could not help comparing the two. Seven had helped but was not strong like his beloved. It was the command team that had brought them home. Okay, he acknowledged ruefully, they had some help. There was Reg Barclay, and the rest of the Voyager crew. Plus Kes had given them the gift of hurling them 10,000 light years closer. He was heartsick for her so much it was physically painful to tolerate the crowd.

He was able to stay calm for a good ten extra minutes after the admiral's announcement, and then he calmly left the crowd. He had hoped to see his sister, but he knew that he should have known better. The Cardassians had used his world as target practice, many times over. His sister was officially declared missing and was presumed dead by his home world, almost a decade ago. He wanted with all his heart to tell Irene Hanson to shut up, but he knew he could not do that to Seven. He mumbled something about seeing a friend and ran after the Janeways. He did not care enough to see the look of disappointment on Voyager's former drone.

He finally caught up to Janeway, and he was officially introduced to her family. After being hugged by her mother and sister, he felt the desperate need to reach out to her. As her family was engrossed with examining Miral Paris, he made his move. He brushed against her shoulder, with his hand.

He said he loved her in sign language. She shook her head and signed back, I do not love you anymore. Please move on. She did not even bother to look into his eyes before reaching to hold Miral.


	4. Chapter 5

COMING HOME

**Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.**

**Bina W.**

**Coming Home**

**PART 5**

**(I misplaced my revised copy due to my horrible grammar. So I will just have to repost this original copy.)**

**COMING HOME**

**Part 5 A Janeway Heart to Heart Talk**

The informal banquet that Starfleet had beautifully and tastefully put together for the crew and their families still lingered in her mind. Janeway knew she should have been able to relax for the first time in seven years, but she could not. It was not due to a voice in the back of her mind that reminded her she had been able to truly relax on a Delta Quadrant planet for a few months a long time ago.

She knew that her family and friends would grill her about her former first officer. She had sat next to him at the banquet, as was expected. Nevertheless, she only met his eyes whenever others came over to speak to both of them. She could see the pain in his eyes. However, she did not care. She was okay with the idea of him having Seven of Nine, but she was afraid she would not be able to keep him as a friend. She also felt guilt. Seven was like a daughter to her and deserved to be in a relationship. If it had been ANYONE else, even Harry Kim, she would have been thrilled.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chakotay shrug off Seven's hand and give the former Borg a nasty glare. She was a witness to this scene as the first of the cleaning crew arrived when the party was almost over. Irene looked at her niece and shook her head at the Indian.

Chakotay unconsciously rubbed the Native American tattoo on his face and hid his head from Seven. Irene stood up and hugged all the senior crewmembers that were left as Seven stood up and announced she needed to regenerate.

Chakotay snuck a glance in her direction. But she just calmly nodded at him as she too gestured to her mom and sis that it was time to call it a night. She took her time hugging the rest of the bridge crew and the few crewmembers and their families who had not left. As she stiffly and coldly hugged Chakotay, they heard clapping. Tom Paris put his fingers in his mouth and whistled until B'Elanna gave him a good hard kick under the table.

Owen Paris smiled sadly as he witnessed the cold hug Janeway gave the Indian. Chakotay shook his head slightly as he went to give her a peck on the cheek. She let him do this and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek as they were in public.

"I need to talk to you, Captain."

She could see the desperation in his eyes.

"Seven years is a long time, what we accomplished was not just a walk in the park!"

"I thank you for your help and I could not have done it without you. You know all this Chakotay."

With that, she let go of the embrace and left the room with her family.

**TWO HOURS later at the Janeway home**:

"He loves you very much. Why not give him a chance?" Gretchen looked her daughter in the eyes as she tried to get Kathryn to see his side of the story, his point of view.

Kathryn just sighed and tried not to show annoyance. It had been seven years and she did not want to fight. She looked at her sister. Phoebe refused to come to her aid.

The look on her sis's face was one of anger at the coldness that Chakotay had been shown.

"He has been by your side for years and knows you better then maybe anyone on the ship, and certainly better than anyone in the Federation and Starfleet, except for Owen.

Janeway just wanted to go to bed. She had more than enough.

"I, we have been by each other's side for years. There have been briefings, working dinners, first contacts, wars with Borg. You name it. He has been there with me. I will not debate this."

"Why not?" Gretchen was not the only Janeway who had a stubborn streak.

"Mom, I need to find my own family. I want to see what is out there."

Phoebe was done with being gentle. She picked up the vase of roses of the table and made a show of wanting to throw them on the floor.

Janeway looked at her sis. "If it will make you feel better, then throw the vase and flowers in it on the floor. It will make a mess thought."

Phoebe and Gretchen exchanged exasperated looks and then looked at her. Gretchen wearily looked at her eldest child. "They are from him, and they are beautiful. Or don't you care anymore?"

Janeway clearly bristled. "What are you implying?"

"You are not getting any younger, my child." Both sisters could hear the warning voice in the mother's voice.

"Mom! That was not needed!" Phoebe almost shouted at her mother, but winked at her. Kathryn was busy looking at her mother and did not see the exchange.

Gretchen caught the gesture and shot into plan B.

"We taught you to aim high, and not to just settle. You have done the impossible with some help and deserve the best."

Phoebe interjected; "So you are telling me you want some boring, desk guy who will be average and ordinary?"

Kathryn's face turned as bright as her red hair. "I have no intention of settling for less then I deserve. I am still a Janeway. Nevertheless, I want to see what is out there. I have earned the right to take chances with someone else besides him. I'm going to bed. He is not the only guy out there." With that, she stomped out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into her bedroom.

But her family had not given up.

Phoebe looked at her mum and said; She can have whoever she wants, but no one will understand her better then him." Even Owen has said this."

Gretchen nodded and smiled. The look in her eyes was of sadness. "She is feeling overwhelmed, but maybe she is just weary of Chakotay."


	5. Chapter 6

The Musings of Admiral Own Paris

The Musings of Admiral Own Paris

Chapter 6

REVISED DUE TO MY GRAMMAR!

(Words in italics means that person is thinking to him/herself)

Admiral Owen Paris thought he was dreaming. Of course he was dreaming. How else could he have heard the sound of a young baby in his home? Well, it was not exactly a home. It was what Starfleet had assigned him to reside in. Still, it was not bad. It was big for just one admiral. He tossed and turned again. But he heard the sound yet again.

He went to turn over in his bed and was immediately blinded by the sunlight coming into his room. It was no use, he was awake. He got up, put his slippers on and robe over his Starfleet issued boxers and stood at the door. It felt like he was dreaming and for a moment he stood by his bedroom door. It took a second for him to realize that he was not dreaming. There was indeed a baby in his residence.

Stifling a yawn, he tiptoed to the nursery and opened the door. When he looked over in the crib, he saw a tiny baby with thick, glossy black hair, chocolate eyes and ridges on her forehead. He could not resist a smile. That smile did not last very long for he soon was distracted by something else. Something that did not smell like it came from a Human. He had to stifle a yawn as he was changing his granddaughter, Miral's diaper. He chuckled as it occurred to him that probably not too many people had the opportunity to be able to make that kind of distinction. He wondered for a split second if Tom and B'Elanna had noticed. He assumed they had noticed.

He sat down with little Miral on his lap with a bottle, while he planned out what to do for the day. It would be hours before his son and B'Elanna would arrive back from Starfleet Command. The debriefings were almost over. He looked at his granddaughter and gave quick, wordless thanks to the gods who had made it possible for him to be able to hold her. He had taken the day off but had not told anyone why he needed a full day off. When Tom had asked, he had just shook his head and smiled.

As he balanced the baby in one arm, he picked up his coffee cup and took a sip of the blend that B'Elanna swore was Admiral Janeway's favorite. He literally gagged on the first sip. It was one of the most revolting sensations he had ever tried. I wonder how she was able to stomach that. Yet, it was unlike any thing he had ever had. He was not a coffee drinker but had only tried it because B'Elanna had mentioned it. I guess some things are not meant to be. I will not be having a love affair with this coffee, nor hopefully any blend.

As he pushed the cup out of Miral's reach, he recalled the crack that his son had made about how Janeway had a 7 year love affair with coffee. B'Elanna's response had been to elbow her husband in the ribs. Tom's had just looked back at his wife with an innocent look. The exchange had not been lost on Paris.

His successor had surpassed his expectations, as well as Starfleet's and everyone else in the Federation. Paris pressed his lips together and gave a sad sigh as he looked at Miral. Janeway had done the impossible. Was it so wrong for him to want her to be happy? Tom and B'Elanna were back home, had a new marriage and a new baby. Tom's relationship was his father was getting more comfortable every day.

He really liked B'Elanna. She was just what Tom needed to complete him. Admiral Janeway deserved to have a home and family also. Sure, Voyager would always be a family to her. But there were families, and then there were families. Some families were meant to be, like his granddaughter, son and B'Elanna.

But then there were other families that should never have gotten together. He knew that the treaty between the Federation and the Cardassians had not gone well. Come to think of it, it had gotten worse. The implications of the treaty were even more tragic. It had taken many lives, resources. But it was not total loss. He did not condone terrorism. But he knew that had the Maquis never been born, the new, wonderful relationship he had with his son may never have come about. He might not have met B'Elanna, and Miral would not have been his granddaughter. Tom would still have lied and be sent to prison. He would not have gotten a second chance of redemption with his protégé. There would not have been love in Tom's heart. Love, wasn't that what made life worth living? He knew it was a cliché to say that sometimes the things one can't sell made it all worth it. But it was true.

Samantha Wildman was reunited with her husband, who had never seen his first born. Families were what made living worth it. Harry Kim had finally been reunited with his parents. It took a while, but he finally his research was complete.

Everyone had been reunited with a family and was enjoying their time off with paid leave. But he could think of one family that was meant to be that was broken and fractured. He shook his head in dismay as he had a flash back to being told about Seven of Nine and Chakotay. B'Elanna looked like she wanted to throw something. Tom had a neutral look on his face as he related the news, but Paris knew his son was not too happy either. Paris was disappointed in Janeway and Chakotay. It hurt him more then the failed treaty between the Cardassians and the Federation. As he changed Miral's diaper, he made a metal note to talk to his family about making things right. Tom was a great schemer; he would also enlist his daughter-in-law's help.


	6. Chapter 7

Chakotay's Thoughts on Being Pardoned

**Disclaimer: I do not own TREK.**

**Bina W.**

**Coming Home**

**Ch7 Revised for Gramar.**

**Chakotay's Thoughts on Being Pardoned**

The former Commander Chakotay of the U.S.S. Voyager was walking down the street, and for the first time in a long time, he was able to walk downtown San Francisco, without people bothering him.

Bothering him might have been too strong of a word to use. He was a celebrity, a hero. He could not go anywhere on Earth without people coming up to him and wanting to talk about Voyager. He figured that was much better than them remembering that he was a former member of the Maquis.

The members of the Maquis that had not been hunted down by the Cardassians and the Dominion had been stuck on Voyager. A small voice in the back of his head started to remind him that Starfleet had betrayed his people, but he did not let his mind finish the thought. Because if he had, he would have had to admit that the woman who held his heart would have betrayed him. After all, she was following orders. Just like Tuvok right? Well, he could forgive Tuvok.

After all, to his knowledge there had only been one Vulcan member of the Maquis. She had been apprehended on Deep Space Nine. But Kathryn, now she should have known better. So should of Starfleet. He did not discriminate when he had been a Maquis member. But he knew that the truth was that the majority of the displaced members who had been betrayed by the Federation were Human and Bajoran.

He truly hated the Cardassians. Sure, he had just learned better to deal with it by her side. He wondered what Kathryn would have done had she been in his position.

A part of him was grateful that the Maquis had been pardoned. He knew Janeway was the reason for that.

A part of his brain, the same part he had just shut up a moment ago produced another thought. This time he was curious. That part of his brain told him that had the Federation-Cardassian treaty never been borne, better yet had not been atrociously been implemented, his life would not be what it was today. He chuckled to himself, but there was no humor in it. He heard the bitterness. Was all that bloodshed worth it so he could find love? He knew it was love.

Another part of his mind again wondered what Janeway would have done in his place. Would he have turned her in if the Caretaker had not intervened? He knew that these kinds of thoughts did not do any good for him. In fact, they could be destructive in the long run. He laughed again and this time it was mixed with ill humor and bitterness. Who was he to try to repress thoughts having to do with destruction? After all, the Federation and Starfleet had not thought about the destruction they had done when the treaty was signed and implemented. Why should he be so generous?

As he was thinking that last thought, he turned left on the street of the house where Janeway lived.


	7. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home Ch 8 Revised for grammar.

Chapter 8

**Heavy Hearts**

**Warning: Contains MATURE AND SEXUAL CONTENTS. RATED MATURE.**

Admiral Kathryn Janeway was so engrossed in her work that it took three rings of the bell to get her attention. She did not even have a clue as to the time of day. As soon as her promotion had gone through, she had quickly made the same dedication to being an admiral she demonstrated as the only Starfleet Captain in the Delta Quadrant. Everyone still expected great things from her and she did not want to disappoint.

As she opened the door, her former first officer heard the sharp and quick hiss of breath from his beloved. As he took a step forward, he heard the shatter of a china cup breaking on the floor of the foyer. Lucky for him, the hot liquid only splashed across his boots. He had not decided to wear the moccasins as that was his usual choice when off duty. They both bent down at the same time to pick up the sharp pieces of china and accidentally bumped foreheads. That broke the tension and the broken china was all forgotten about. Chakotay picked her up and closed the door with his leg. She tried unsuccessfully to get out of the grip of his big Indian hands.

"Put me down." He knew it was not a request but he shook his head as and he smirked at her.

"That was an order, Commander." The look on her face was not comical. In fact she was starting to turn red.

"Or you'll what? Bust me down to ensign?"

He could see that she was practically fuming at the insubordination. He continued to ignore her demands to be let free. He tightened his grip on her as he swiftly looked around for her kitchen. As he passed through the door he felt even more resistance from her. She reached over his shoulders and tried to latch onto the doorframe with her hands. He looked amused as he sought direct eye contact with her. She looked like she was ready to spit needles. But he was not afraid. He had faced far worse then this by her side in the Delta Quadrant. Besides a small part of him liked the feel of her squirming in her arms. He did not have any desire to hurt her.

It just felt like almost perfection to have physical contact with her. In fact had she not been so adamant about not being held, she would have also realized that he was the only person to hold her in all of the four quadrants. He finally gently eased her down but he still would not let her be free. He pressed his body up against hers, pinning her between him and the counter. She slapped him and cried out, "How dare you Commander?"

Her eyes were on fire and so was her body. It was all she could do to not slightly spread her legs apart and press herself to him. So she concentrated on her anger. But he was no fool. After all, he had been by her side for the last seven years. He watched her as she made a show of inching as far against the counter behind her as her body would let her. But she had a plan. He pressed against her, but he was careful not to hurt her. She feigned giving up for a moment. That was enough sign for him to ease up his frame from covering her. That was all she needed, and she took her chance. She made a mad dash to escape, but he got over his initial surprise quite quickly. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back between the counter and him.

""Kathryn." He wrapped his big arms around her and gently pressed his frame into her. She tried to fight, but her legs instinctively parted a little bit for him. He pressed against her and tightened his arms around her. She leaned into him but her eyes were fire. She hated not being in control and liked it even less when he was the cause for it. He pressed her against the counter even more. She leaned with her weight against him, finally and started to rub against him and felt heat in the lower part of her body. He went to kiss her but she turned her head.

"You have not earned the right Commander."

He saw her look straight into his eyes as she said that last word. But that was agony to his ears. He could not tell which part caused him more physical pain. Being denied hurt, but so did her formality.

It took all his effort not to close his eyes and the same time to ignore the sensations between his legs. He looked at her but she would not look him in the eyes. He brought one hand up and brought her chin in an effort to make her look at him, but she looked everywhere but at him.

"We need to talk." His voice was quiet but there was an edge to it.

She noticed and finally looked at him. She started to shake her head but he would not free her chin from his hand. He pressed against her even harder, and this excited both of them. Each could feel the elevated heart beats of the other. Both sets of eyes got bigger as the sexual tension in her kitchen went up a few notches. She whimpered his name.

"If I release my hand, will you promise as an officer not to flee?"

He was rewarded with a nod. He let go of her jaw. His left hand pressed against the small of her back. The other one went around her waist.

"What is so important that you have to hold me hostage Chakotay?" He searched her face for any signs of anger, but found not.

"Are you going to let me go?" Her voice was soft and quiet. She knew what she was doing, but he also knew.

He shook his head and tightened his grip on her as her answer.

"We need to talk about the Maquis."

She reciprocated him with a puzzled look. "They have all been exonerated and with pay and commissions. What more is there?"

His breath caught in his throat. He could feel the fury that was showing on his face. But he could also see that her question was out of concern. There was no room for mocking in her question.

"The Federation and Starfleet abandoned us." His voice carried the customary gentleness that she was used to but his eyes had a ruthless and dangerous look to them. Somehow this just excited her more. He again felt her heart quicken and looked down and then back to her.

She was surprised into shock. "The Maquis blew things up and killed people. Your people caused much grief and violated the treaty with the Cardassians. The raids..."

But he did not let her finish. "The Federation gave up my people's homelands and just expected us to do it willingly, no questions asked!"

She heard his roar of thunder in her ears. "You would have been compensated and moved to other worlds in Federation space. The treaty was for the greater good of the Federation." She regretted the words between them.

He laughed. But it would never have been mistaken for humor. It was one of bitterness, mixed with amazement. The split second love in his eyes went back to fury.

He spread his legs slightly further apart then they previously had been. She unconsciously mimicked him with her own legs and pressed against him.

"Coward!" He spat at her.

He put a hand in her hair and kept it there. His other arm went below her torso and lifted her up. She pinned her legs around him.

This time it was her turn for a round at him.

"How dare you! Just who do you think you are?" As her words came out, he shifted to support her full weight. The hardness between his legs snuggled and caressed the area between her legs, through their clothes. They pressed hard against each other.

"Tell me something. Admiral. If your home was give to the enemy would you just give up just like that? You never thought to give Voyager over to the Kazon did you?"

He knew he was not being fair, but he did not care. He wanted to drive home a point.

"So terrorism is the answer?" She laughed sarcastically.

His reply was to gently stick his tongue in her mouth. She closed her eyes and shifted her arms from around his waist to around his neck. She surrendered to his sensual mouth and for a moment, their tongues moved in union.

"You are surely one amazing woman. Shall I also add one beautiful bitch?"

She opened her eyes but did tighten her arms around his neck. She could feel him hard against him. They both looked down and at each other but just resumed conversation.

As she rubbed her face against the side of his cheek, she tried to formulate what she next wanted to say.

"You cannot just blow things and people up for an injustice. You know that peace come by working together." She opened her mouth to say something else, but paused as he lifted her shirt over her head.

As he mumbled her bra fastening open, he narrowed his eyes at her. "Before Voyager, when did you ever have to fight for anything in your perfect Starfleet life?" He shifted his right arm to under her torso as his right hand pinched her right nipple.

As he bent his head to her chest, he felt the single tear drop on his right eyelid.

"That was not fair! You know that I worked for everything in my life. My parents did not shield me."

"Was it fair for the Federation to give away my planet?" She flinched as his pink, moist tongue touched her right nipple. He opened her mouth with his tongue. He was very generous with her and covered every inch of the inside of her mouth. Not even under her tongue or the roof of her mouth missed his caress. She was mildly annoyed but not surprised that she could not resist him.

"Was it fair for to also be betrayed by Starfleet?

At the same time his harsh tone registered with her, she moaned in pleasure.

He removed his tongue from her ear and looked back at her expectantly.

"What"

He smirked at her. "That moaning will not excuse you. I expect an answer."

She gritted her teeth as he suckled her left breast.

"I was doing my job." She temporarily arched her back.

He bit down on her left nipple. She arched her back again and this time he almost dropped her.

"Like Tuvok?" He glared at her and he reached for her left pant leg.

"Let me go!" She gave him a lethal glare. If looks could kill, he would be gone.

"You fucking bitch!" At the same time he uttered those words; he tore off her sweat pants in one move and threw them on the ground. She could not help but smile as she felt her pants being removed. He smiled softly back at her.

He bit her ear as and then removed his shirt. She moved to touch his chest but he angrily slapped her hand away.

It was difficult to achieve at the same time as being held by one arm, but she managed to remove off his pants in one piece. She gave him a triumph look.

He just raised an eyebrow at her as he tore away her underwear.

"I deserve an answer and that does not mean next year Admiral." He gritted his teeth to keep from panting. He could feel her wetness on him.

"I would have complied. Besides, do you really want to be like the Cardassians?"

He made sure his arm was secure under her torso as he rubbed his erection against her wetness. She clutched to him and moaned. She looked at him eyes wide. The look of love was soft and promising in his eyes. They kissed passionately for a few moments. Only when they had to come up for air, did he reply.

He gave her a questioning look and she nodded affirmation.

He gently plunged in all the way while maintaining eye contact. She let out a slight moan, tightened and then relaxed.

He did not break eye contact as he nastily replied. "If the shoe fits."

He balanced her against the counter as he continued to plunge in and out."

The look of sarcasm was plain to see on her face. "Gee, what a fine officer you are."

She nipped his ear. He whole body shuddered in anticipation. He put his tongue in her ear and then looked at her eyes. "Do you want to lie down?"

She moaned as he took that as a no.

"Don't put me down.

As her fingertips lightly raked his back, he moaned in pleasure.

"An eye for an eye." He pinched her torso with his free hand.

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind."

He nodded and said, "Gandhi, he was a great and wise man."

She tried to think of something to say. But all she could was ride the climax.

He tightened his grip on her as he his whole body convulsed. At the same time, each cried out the other's name.

He put her down and kissed her and then stroked her hair. He then held her left hand as he looked into her eyes and said words that chilled her to the bone. "For every action, there is an equal reaction. Sometimes death is a necessary evil. But they dance around the issue at the academy. Self defense comes in different forms. The threat of homelessness qualifies."

She let him see a tear and wiped it away as she handed him his clothes. Her face hardened as she covered a breast. The look in her eyes was sad. But his was a look of hardness. Even his next words did not change his tone.

"I will always love you. Never doubt that Kathryn."

He looked into her eyes for the last time as he said those words.

"I know and I feel the same." There was sadness in her eyes.

He touched her hair one last time before dressing and leaving. He did not look back as he closed her front door.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	8. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 The Mighty Have Fallen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.**

**Bina W.**

**Coming Home ch9**

**Revised due to grammar.**

**Chapter 9 The Mighty Have Fallen**

**THIS CONTAINS SEXUAL MATERIAL AND THERE IS A FIGHT.**

**Admiral Janeway **heard herself start to cry as he closed the door. She turned around and squeezed her eyes shut so the tears would not come out. She heard the door open behind her. Chakotay went to give her a hug but she pushed him away and fled to her bedroom and locked it behind her. As she went to hug herself, she could hear his steps getting louder and heavier on the stairs. Silently she just wished he would go away, but she knew him better then that. When he knocked she did not answer.

"Kathryn, we need to talk. Let me in. Please." Both could hear the pleading in his tone.

"No Maquis will ever be welcomed in this house." She laughed a hoarse laugh, but inside she was dying.

Chakotay was upset, but so was she. He kicked down the door and just stood inside her bedroom with a panicked look on his face.

"What is wrong with you? How dare you Commander? You have no right!"

His whole body language quickly changed in the blink of eye. The look on his face was mixed with anger and disbelief. He looked at the ruined door and back at her and flinched at her hard demeanor.

"I do have a right in your bedroom."

Her eyes held a momentary look of fear. She tried to look away and hide it, but he saw it. The pained look on his face almost broke her. Her knees buckled but she braced herself against his legs. He cursed and started to apologize for not catching her. She shook her head and looked up she undid the clasp to his pants. He bent down and went to kiss her forehead.

"Are you sure? You do not owe me anything." His voice was once again soft.

She nodded yes and lowered his pants. He started to stroke her hair. He started squirming as she stroked his erection. When he looked down he saw that her eyes were glistening.

"What about our political differences?"

She did not answer but flicked her tongue against the end of his swollen head. He moaned and shook all over.

"Kathryn, we need to talk. We need to make sure our differences do not come between us."

When he got no response, he looked down. She could not answer as she had taken the whole length of him in her mouth. But there were tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill over her cheeks.

"It should not have to be like this for you, my love. " He went to disengage himself from her but she resisted. She temporarily tightened her mouth on him when he tried to gently push her away. Those only made her cry harder and she clutched his naked, creamy left thigh with free left hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Kathryn." She felt a tear drop on her nose. She looked up but did not stop from pleasuring him.

He held her left hand in his and his body convulsed in pleasure. He felt her hand squeeze in his and he returned the gesture.

"You are worth even more to me than the planet that the Cardassians got. Do you hear me?"

When he got no verbal response from her, he became anxious. "You have to believe me. I would not lie to you."He still got no verbal response. He started crying out her name.

She replied by continuing to taker the whole length of him in her mouth but much faster this time. He convulsed again and moaned. His grip on her hand became quite hard. He looked down at her but what he saw took his breath away. She was still crying. She looked up and freed herself from him for a moment.

"I need to do this. Please do not interfere." She resumed her sucking as the tears slowly came.

He nodded but their was a haunted look in his eyes. However, it soon was replaced once again by a look of sexual desire. He reached for her left hand with his right hand. She responded by clasping his hand very tightly. "At ease Admiral, before you strain something."

He saw her get a funny look in her eyes. Had she been physically able to laugh she would have. She relaxed and pinched his left thigh before replacing her hand in his. For the next several minutes, he held her hand and stroked her hair with his other hand as she continued her love for him.

Finally he squeezed her hand as she his whole body convulsed. He looked down at her to signal her. She squeezed his hand and continued. He emptied himself into her and then his erection went limp. He bent down and scooped her up and kissed her on the forehead. He gently laid her on the bed.

"I will be back. Promise not to move? I'm going to the bathroom to get a towel."

She nodded and he left her to go to the bathroom. He returned with a damp towel with soap on it. He cleaned her face and stroked her hair. He set the towel down and looked into her eyes for permission as he parted her legs. He licked her clitoris. She started crying again.

"Please don't cry. What's wrong? Do you want me to stop?" She shook her head no but he did not know what that meant.

She spread her legs a little farther and lay back on the bed.

He inserted two fingers into her opening and gently probed and looked at her.

She squirmed and gasped, but the tears still flowed from her eyes.

He started to bend his head back down until she gasped.

"Oh Chakotay, we can't be together. We are too different." She moaned in agony this time instead of pleasure.

Chakotay's whole body shook and he panicked. "Kathryn!" Both could hear the desperation in his voice. That startled her into not crying. He burst into tears.

"I waited seven years for you. I will be whoever you want me to be. I need you and I need this." He hit his point home by sucking between her legs for a moment before he looked back up at her.

She arched her back before relaxing. "We both need this."

He nodded and settled back down. He alternated between sucking, licking and kissing the region between her legs. She kept running her hands through his dark mane and moaning.

He stopped and watched her. She became self conscious and stopped wiggling. Her whole face turned red.

"Do I smell or taste bad?" She had a panicked look on her face.

"No my love, you taste beautiful, like love should taste. But I'm afraid you're pulling out pieces of my hair."

She looked down at her hands and indeed there were a few strands of his hair in both her hands.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head in amusement and kissed her passionately. This went for several minutes.

Hew finally looked back at her and smirked.

"Do I have your permission to navigate, Admiral?"

She saw the smirk and laughed lightly. "What is the course Commander?"

He winked at her "Commander's discretion."

She nodded and mouthed the word engage.

He laid hoisted her legs onto his shoulder before he continued sucking the area between her legs.

"Chakotay!" She screamed and arched her back and then relaxed.

After he came back from the bathroom, he lay on the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

"We need to talk. You know this is true."

Chakotay nuzzled her neck before looking at her. "There is nothing to discuss. You love me and I love you."

She shook her head. "I _cannot_ do this. You still sympathize with the Maquis."

His eyes hardened. He disentangled himself from her. She reached out to him with her arms. He smacked them away. She cried but he no longer cared.

He got up and threw her clothes at her before he got dressed. As he put his moccasins back on he laughed a hoarse, unpleasant laugh.

"You still haven't changed have you, my dear?" I still have to play second fiddle to the almighty Starfleet."

She was on her feet in a flash and her face was mere centimeters away from his. He could feel her breath, and it was hot; but there was no room to see it as being sexy.

"After everything I did for you…?" Her face was now a shade redder then her hair.

"Don't you mean after what I did for you, bitch?" He face was almost as red as hers.

"You would be nothing without me, except a rotting away in a prison cell, Commander. Or have you forgotten that. I saved your life!"

Chakotay spit next to her left foot.

She looked down and then back up and slapped him hard. They both knew her hand print would be on his face for a while.

"How dare you?"

"Admiral, I am tired of your betrayal. It's getting quite old. I find it distasteful."

She laughed at him, and the look in her eyes was lethal. "Apparently that is not the case. Did the events that happened today skip your mind and senses so quickly?"

The disappointment in his eyes was so clear. "Damn you, woman. Don't I mean anything to you? You're going to have to find someone else to be your bed toy. It will not be me. How could I have been so wrong about you? But it was me who was wrong. Isn't that right?"

She shook with rage. "I can't believe I let you touch me! When I am done with you, the only thing you will be fucking will be a hologram, Commander!"

"Don't call me that! You lost the right to even call me by my rank!

She felt her heart skip a beat but she kept on.

She spat at him. "Maquis! Does that fit better? I think it does."

"Starfleet! That is what your new name will be. I will never call you Kathryn. Never."

She was not done with him and waggled a finger at him.

"I guess some people never change, no matter how many chances they get."

"Second chances my ass! You didn't give my crew a choice. You didn't give any of us a choice. You are no better then the bloody Cardassians. This means the Federation, and the fucking almighty Starfleet! How far the mighty have fallen!"

"How dare you?"

He just laughed again. "Is that all the great Janeway can say after seven years in the Delta Quadrant? I'm getting tired of you!"

He turned to go but heard sobs coming from her.

He shook his head as he laughed once again. He threw the towel at her. "I won't ever be fooled by you or the Federation or Starfleet again."

She reached out to him, but he slapped her away. "Don't you dare touch me! You have lost that right. He got mere centimeters from her and roughly grabbed her chin. I got tricked into making love with you. It was just as bad as fucking Seska all those years ago! I don't know why I thought it would be different."

"DISMISSED!" The intensity in her voice was so loud that for a split second he got light headed.

"We are not in the Delta Quadrant anymore. You cannot order me around."

Her smile was anything but soft.

"Why can't you understand? The Federation took away my home. My father was killed defending his home."

She shook her head. "Why can't you see that once the treaty went through it was not your home?"

The silence as well as the heart breaks in the room were palpable. The two former friends and lovers just looked at each other and did not say anything.

Chakotay picked up the door he had kicked open and threw it behind him. It bounced down the stairs. It was a scene of havoc. Janeway's pictures on the wall all fell off as the door fell down the steps. Some fell on the steps. They could also hear the noise of shattered glass from the frames.

As she stepped to the end of her bedroom, she took in the mess. The wall above the staircase was in a shambles. Huge gaps and holes were now evident in the wall. The staircase was missing three rails. She jumped as she heard the door land at the bottom of the staircase. She picked up the shattered frame of her father and started to run towards her bed. But she was blinded by the tears and tripped over Chakotay's feet. The frame flew from her hands and crashed through the window above her bed. It was a good thing she turned back to him when she did or else pieces of glass from the window would have became lodged in her body.

She advanced on him and smacked hard enough to make him fall.

He got back up and spit on her shoe. He looked at her and turned to leave.

"Just where do you think you are going Commander?" She screamed at him but he was beyond caring.

"I feel dirty after that fuck and I need to take a shower."

"Sex with the hologram was better than with you." She smiled nastily at him."

He walked to her and grinned. "

I bet the sex for the hologram was a poor first lesson. Thank goodness those holograms learn and adapt better then some Humans. You are worse then the Borg. At least they are up front and have no hidden agenda."

"What makes you think that you are so good between the sheets? Where do you get your moves? Your animal guide needs to come up with some newer tricks for your sheets." He could not miss the sneer she had on her face.

"Get out! Dismissed!! That means now!"

His chest was heaving now. "Fuck you! I did everything for you for seven years and this is how you repaid me? I was such a fool for thinking that New Earth could be done again. Where is the magic?

"Please. You saw what you wanted to see Commander. You are so weak."

He shook his head. "I am not. I am a angry warrior." He puffed out his chest.

She was not buying it. "YOU ARE WEAK! Mark my word and make no mistake. You couldn't even tell me you loved me. You made up some dumb, lame warrior story."

His breath became lodged in his throat. Hot angry tears fell onto his face. "I hate you." His voice was soft and full of regret.

"I hate you even more!"

He looked at her and stepped forward. He reached for her hand and she slapped him away. "I don't hate you. I was just angry."

She clinched her fists. "Get out before I call security,

He turned and looked back at her before he reached what was left of the stairs.

"I know you always wanted to have a child. What happens if you become pregnant?

She laughed at him. "You won't have to worry about that. I'll get an abortion."

His whole body convulsed, and he did a double take before he ran down the stairs and out her house.


	9. Chapter 10

Coming Home

**Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.**

**Bina W.**

**Coming Home Ch 10**

**Revised for grammar.**

**Coming Home**

**Chapter 10**

Chakotay was feeling very drained. He felt just as drained as when he found out his father had been killed while fighting the Cardassians. As he walked to the closest beaming center in town, he tried to clear his thoughts. He deposited the appropriate amount of credits to the transporter operator. He was in a daze and did not even hear the operator speak to him. He did not care and was not in the mood for small talk. In the Maquis, when things were not good, he turned to B'Elanna. He snorted as he explored where his thoughts were going.

"Maybe a dose of Klingon commons sense is just what I need. Human common sense does not seem to be working for me."

It was Admiral Paris who opened the door and not Tom or B'Elanna.

"Hello Owen. Is B'Elanna here?"

He was rewarded with a nod. The admiral did not have to summon his daughter in law. She had heard the Indian and caught the look in his eyes. An unspoken understanding was passed between the half Klingon and the Admiral. He lowered his eyes and mumbled something about needing to go grocery shopping for Miral. With that, he was gone.

The two best friends watched as Owen disappeared around the corner.

Once inside, B'Elanna offered him a cup of hot chocolate, which he gratefully accepted.

"Can I make you something to eat?"

The Indian shook his head. "I am not sure that I would be able to keep it down. The hot chocolate should be fine for now."

She tried to smile at him, but the smile did not quite reach her eyes. "That bad huh?"

Suddenly, Chakotay grabbed her hand and squeezed quite tightly. B'Elanna was not offended, just startled. She made no gesture to remove her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She dropped her hand to her side as he released it.

"Do you remember when we first me?"

She nodded and returned with two cups of hot chocolate, topped off with whipped cream and two marshmallows apiece.

"It was about a week before I got expelled from Starfleet Academy, during my second year."

He smiled and it reached his eyes.

She gave her oldest friend a questioning look. Before she could finish mouthing Admiral Janeway, he shook his head. The sadness in his eyes was almost enough to make her cry.

"I was so mad. I even cussed out Boothby. I guess some things are constant; your love for her and the old gardener at the Academy grounds. I know all the old man wanted to do was calm me down, and I became unleashed at him. It took all my energy NOT to break his nose."

The commander nodded. "I remember. I was the one who kept you from hitting the unfortunate groundskeeper."

"You said that passion and skill of my level was a waste on Starfleet. That Starfleet did not appreciate the gifts they had."

He gulped down half his hot cocoa as he silently looked into her eyes.

"Commander, what do you think my life would have been if you had not walked upon me lunging at the groundskeeper?"

"I do not know. But chances are you would not be married and have a baby and the respect of all the Federation and Starfleet."

She smiled like the Cheshire cat. "Kathryn."

He shook his head. "You and I would be rotting in jail. Well, just me, as Klingons make horrible prisoners."

She laughed as she took another sip of her hot chocolate and got a far away look in her eyes.

"What is it?"

She looked back at him. "I wonder bout Ro Laren. Why did she turn down your offer to be first officer on your first assignment with the Maquis?"

He looked surprised to hear that particular question. "Her loyalty to the Enterprise had not been completely severed yet."

The half Klingon just grunted. "But how did you come to hear about me? We had not met before that day at the academy. You never got around to mentioning the exact Bajoran."

"Kira Nerys. She is now the commander of Deep Space Nine. I met her once on Earth. She had accompanied then Commander Sisko to Starfleet Command. She was by herself in a restaurant called Pizza Hut. I was coming around the quarter and noticed her sitting all by herself with a forlorn look on her face. Plus I am a fan of pizza, unless it is made by a Vulcan, and then I just gag. I walked up to her and asked if could order her a pizza and a beer, no strings attached."

He smiled and snorted.

"The Bajoran looked at me like I was crazy. I do no eat any kind of food that has strings attached. My commanding officer, Commander Sisko has never mentioned eating foods with strings attached. Is it a new fad diet of some kind?"

At this, B'Elanna burst out laughing.

Chakotay had a hard time keeping a straight face.

"At the time, I needed a reason to laugh. We both had a good belly laugh. Colonial Kira is a vegetarian and we split a vegetarian pizza and a pitcher of beer. We talked for a few hours about the rumors of the treaty that the Federation was supposedly going to hammer out with the Cardassians. That was when she talked about what her life was like under the occupation. We both knew that there would be no peace with the Cardassians. I could see the fear, pain as well as the determination in her eyes. She mentioned your name and had kind things to say about you. She said she was grateful for you fixing her engines. She showed me a picture of you and asked me to give her thanks to you if we ever met. In addition, she mentioned that you were someone she would have liked to call a friend. She admired the passion, intelligence and spirit. She called you a spitfire."

At that image, both of the former Voyager crewmembers laughed in union. She said she believed in the emissary, Sisko. She trusted the Federation, but was afraid we would be forced to sellout to the Cardassians to keep the wormhole in Bajoran space." She said nothing was free.' I told her that love was free. She snorted and made a comment. Something about who has time for silly notions when you have to worry when where your next meal, bathing as well as beating will be coming?"

B'Elanna heard the muffled sob come to her friend as mentioned the word love.

"I was so naive. Love is like a prison."

The half Klingon shook her head. "When you get it right, it is even better then prune juice!"

The commander laughed. "How could I forget that the Klingon Empire likes prune juice like she likes her coffee?"

B'Elanna's eyes got wide. "Can't you even say her name anymore? Surely things are not even that bad?"

He miserably nodded. "Finally, after seven years, we made love. But she would not budge about the Maquis. She would just not leave it alone. We fought. I ended up throwing her bedroom door down the steps. When I asked her what was going to happen she got pregnant, she… she…"

But the commander could not finish as tears were spilling out onto her face.

Blank got up and rubbed his shoulder. "It is okay. Let it come out."

He covered his face with his hands. "She told me not to worry, and that she would be getting an abortion if she got pregnant." His whole large frame shook.

B'Elanna almost threw up. It took all her self control not to. She put down her empty cup and turned him towards her. "Maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe she is meant just to have Starfleet and no one and nothing else."

Before he could reply, Tom walked in the kitchen with a concerned look on his face.

They both turned in his direction.

B'Elanna gave quick update on their conversation and included the one about their former command team.

Tom shook his head. "I cannot believe you would tell him they might not be right for each other. I just can't."

He snuck a look at his former first officer. The look on the Indian's face caused him to miss a heart beat.

Chakotay looked first at Tom and then B'Elanna. "It has been seven years but we are worlds apart."

HE saw the human and Klingon both open their mouths to interject.

He shook his head and wiped his tears on his sleeve. "I cannot do this anymore. I will not humiliate myself. I AM a man. I deserve the best. She cannot get past the almighty Starfleet and I deserve…no… I demand not being second best in her life. She told me years ago that she could not give me a family and love."

Tom shook his head, but Chakotay put up his hand to silence him. "I deserve a family, a life, someone to come home to and not an empty office. I am almost 50 years old. I am not getting any younger. I deserve the best and will NOT live alone."

B'Elanna looked miserable as she snuck a look at her husband.

'I deserve to be as happy as you two, do I not?"

Tom and his wife both nodded in affirmation.

"Will you be okay" He laughed at the couple as they spoke in unison.

"What can we do to ease your pain?"

He replied; "You can help me rebuild my life and set me up on a date." Chakotay groaned as he covered his eyes. I never thought I would be asking to be set on a blind date!"

This broke the tension and all three friends laughed.

Paris slapped his friend on the back. "Don't you worry, Commander. The love doc will take care of you. I promise I will find someone who is your soul mate and you can wine and dine and have freaky, kinky sex with."

At this, B'Elanna and Chakotay exchanged glances of horror and laughed for a good couple of minutes.

However, Tom was not amused. He looked from one friend to another as he crossed his arms.


	10. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 11 Reposted and Revised.

Chapter 11

THIS CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT. RATED MATURE.

Kathryn wiped away her tears with her sleeves. She stood at the top of the stairs as she took in the havoc her former best friend had unleashed.

"I AM strong and will move. I am capable of the impossible. Since my family, the press and Starfleet keep saying this, it must be true, right?"

An hour later, she was bathed and feeling refreshed. She put her underwear, Starfleet tee and sweats pants on.

As she walked into the pharmacy, she took a moment to take a few deep breaths. She contemplated asking the pharmacist for help, but thought that might be cowardly. She already had expected too much and needed to get control of her life.

She finally found the birth control aisle and studied the different available forms of contraceptives. The scientist in her knew that they were not all the same. After reading many labels, she finally chose the one called The Unmistaken Pill.

She laughed a hollow laugh as she mentally thought it was a stupid name.

As she was in line she read the box label once more. She was so engrossed that she did not notice the arrival of Lt. Samantha Wildman.

Sam did a double take from Janeway's back. Sam could have sworn it was the same red hair that was the admiral's. She noticed the box and what it said. She dropped the birthday hair brush she had planned on buying for the new sehlat she had bought her daughter. Her husband had said that Naomi could have a pet as a welcome back home present. The last thoughts she had as she was running out of the pharmacy been to call the former Emergency Medical Hologram.


	11. Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Ch 11 part b

NOTE: I ACCIDENTLY erased the original 13-28chapters. Since the docs section only allows 15 docs at a time, and I had other stories, I was not able to store them there. I am wondering if anyone printed those chapters. I am going to do my best to recreate them.

At least everything that I repost will be checked for grammar and spelling.

I also will be adding chapters past 30.

I am sorry for all this. Please bear with me. Hopefully, I learned my lesson.

Bina


	12. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch13

Chakotay woke to an incessant banging on his door. The noise just would not stop. He groaned, opened one eye, rolled over and went back to bed. Still the noise would just not stop. He finally got up and went to open the door. He found Samantha Wildman crying inconsolably and hysterically at the door. He gently led her inside, with one arm around her waist. He led her to the couch, gently kissed her forehead.

"I am going to go to the kitchen, and I will be back with some snacks. Do you prefer honey or sugar in your tea?" She gave him a blank stare.

He briefly touched her cheek before going to the kitchen. When he came back, he had a tray full of food and two cups of hot tea. He set the tray on the table and looked at her. He gave her another hug.

"How's Naomi adjusting to life in the Alpha Quadrant?"

As upset as she was, she could not resist smiling at him.

"She is doing better then my husband and I thought."

He put a generous amount of honey in her tea and added jam onto her some crackers.

He gently patted her shoulder as he put the food items in front of her.

"The strawberry jam is home made and is Gretchen's."

At the very mention of Janeway's mother, she almost choked on the crackers.

His eyes got wide and he went to reach for her, but she held up a hand to keep him away.

He waited until she had her fill of the food and then she calmed down a little.

"I was at the pharmacy and I saw Kathryn in the line."

He nodded to encourage her. Nonetheless, several minutes of silence filled the room.

She went to open her mouth but started to cry even harder than she had been before.

He pulled her onto his lap and gently rocked her in his arms.

"She had a box in her hand."

She could not look into his eyes.

"It was a chemical abortion pill box."

Chakotay's heart skipped several beats. He looked away before he was able to meet her eyes.

"Are you sure it was her?"

She nodded.

His face fell and she started to shake again. "I shouldn't have said anything. Can you ever forgive me?"

His face-hardened at the pain she was going through. "We are not together."

She was so startled, that she forgot to cry. "I didn't say anything, as I didn't know what to do. I came to you."

He nodded to console her. "You did the right thing, Sam. I'm sorry you had to witness our dirty laundry."

At that very moment, they felt the presence of someone else.

In unison, they looked over at the forgotten still open front door.

Kathryn Janeway stood in the doorway. She gave her former crew member a blank stare, but the look she gave her former friend was lethal.

Sam slid off his lap and just stood there, not sure what to do.

"It is not like that," sniffed Sam.

"What are you doing here?" Chakotay's voice was like steel.

"What am I doing here?" Kathryn looked at him in disbelief.

"Sam saw you in the pharmacy line with a chemical abortion pill box. She was so distraught and cam over here. "

"I am sorry Admiral Janeway. I acted impulsively."

"Well, you were not the only one." Chakotay gave Kathryn a meaningful look.

Janeway snuck a look at Sam but did not say anything as she glared at Chakotay.

"Tell me that Sam was wrong."

There was no response from his one time friend.

Sam looked past Janeway and at the door. The look was not lost on the former command team.

Sam gave Janeway a hug and fled the scene.

As soon as she was out of sight, the fireworks started. No one got singed, but people got burned.

Chakotay quickly walked over to Kathryn, grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her to him.

"Don't touch me! How dare you!"

Chakotay gave her a hateful glance and smiled a nasty, horrible smile." How can you even say this to me? You cannot even begin to understand the depth that you have hurt me."

She was not impressed. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Seven years, Kathryn."

She rolled her eyes. "We are not together."

"So what about seven years? What we shared and accomplished means nothing to you?"

"Chakotay…"

"Tell me what to do? Tell me what to say?"

"I will be happy to tell you. It is my body, not yours."

"Kathryn-"

"Dismissed!"

Chakotay laughed, and it did not sound kind or soft.

"That's a Starfleet expression for get out!"

It was his turn to cross his arms.

"I am not Neelix."

She turned to go, but closed it with one leg and pushed her gently up against the wall.

"I could court marshal you for kidnapping."

"I could have you tried for murder."

She looked at the disgusted look on his face but was not fazed.

"This might work on your Maquis prisoners, but it will fail on me."

His face hardened and he turned a shade darker then her hair.

"I beat the Borg, Commander. I cannot be broken."

She watched as he clinched his fists.

"I know you are smart enough not to touch me." It was a firm comment and there was no doubt in her voice.

"That is the problem, Admiral. I did touch you."

He looked into her eyes. "I don't want to fight with you."

"Are you going to let me go?"

They glared at each other and it was palpable.

"Stop it, KATHRYN! Just stop it."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Stop what? You stop it."

He held her right arm as he punched a hole in the wall next to her shoulder.

Her eyes widened.

"Just go." He turned around, and she left.

Her last words were "I will not forget this."

He softly, sadly said, "Neither will I."


	13. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch14 updated

**Chapter 14**

Chakotay just stood there listening to Tom rattle on about how much he like the Alpha Quadrant better this time around. However, Chakotay was having none of it. He was not in the mood to laugh at the younger Paris 's dumb jokes. He wanted to slap his mouth shut, but of course, he would never do that. Nor would he admit to wanting to do it.

Finally, Tom grew tired of trying to cheer up his former commander.

"What happened? Do you want to talk?"

The Indian shook his head and looked at his friend sadly. "What is there to talk about? I was there for her for seven years and now we are not together."

It broke Tom's heart and he wanted to cry for the big man.

Chakotay looked at Tom with a serious look. "I appreciate your kindness for an old friend, but I cannot handle your pity."

Tom opened his mouth to object, but Chakotay would not let him. "I have to go."

He did not even give Tom a chance to object, and he was gone in a blink of an eye.

As soon as he left, Tom went into his father's study. Owen Paris was blowing kisses at Miral, the newest addition to the Paris household. He looked up as Tom came into the room. Owen put a finger to his lips as he put Tom's child in the crib.

He motioned his child to the kitchen.

"What is it Tom?"

"I think that Chakotay needs to get over her."

Owen crossed his arms. "Kathryn's personal life is not my business…"

"Dad, come on, after all she has done for Starfleet, and what about for me?"

"I don't need to be reminded, my son. She gave you a second chance at life."

He looked at his son very intently. "Katie's personal life is not my concern. But professionally…"

His son gave him a disgusted look. "Listen to me…"

Owen held up his hand. "I want to see her happy as do we all."

"Her happiness is not Chakotay. We need to set her up on a date. "

Owen sighed. "I do not know what the right thing to do is. There is a saying…"

Tom rolled his eyes. "I hope this is not another story about the almighty Starfleet."

Owen narrowed his eyes at his son. "There is a saying that the universe will unfold as it should. Nevertheless, maybe you are right. You can be the one to tell B'Elanna that it was your idea."

Tom laughed. "Well, at least she can't break your nose with her Klingon temper because you're an admiral."

Owen laughed. "Are you prepared to be to be sleeping on the couch for a very long time?"

"Dad, she's only half Klingon. She will break my nose, but I won't be on the couch!"

Owen smirked at his dad. "Pray, do tell, my son?"

Tom leaned forward, as if it was secret. "Cuz I'm a man and my lover is part Klingon."

They both shared a good belly laugh before getting down to business.

"How do think you will convince your former commander to go on a date? He has loved her for at least seven years. He was there for her through all three Q's, the Borg, and the Kazon."

"He deserves to be as happy as B'Elanna and I?"

Owen sighed again and briefly closed his eyes. "She deserves the best!"

The younger Paris slammed his fist on the table. "Well so does he! She is not going to change, but he might still be able to have a real life, not one that is second to the almighty, fucking Starfleet!"

Owen was not in the mood to fight. "That is enough. I thought you wanted to plan a date, not trash Starfleet?"

Tom had the decency to look sheepishly at his father.

"B'Elanna once went to Point Reyes National park with her father. She said it was a memory for a lifetime."

Owen raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I thought she was raised by her Klingon mother?"

"She was for most of her life. But she was accepted to Starfleet Academy , quite young."

"I think Chakotay holds the record. He was fifteen years old."

Owen slapped his son on the back "That is damn good, but Kirk did better."

Tom smirked and crossed his arms. "Do not keep me in suspense! Let me guess, Kirk was like twelve?"

Owen could not help but smile. "Close, he was fourteen years old."

Tom had a grin on his face as the large as the Cheshire cat. "That is quite the record."

"You made some history yourself."

Tom smiled at his dad, but had an embarrassed look in his eyes. "You are generous. We could not have come back without the commander or admiral."

Owen nodded. There is much truth in what you say. Nevertheless, my son, you will always be remembered as the person who piloted Voyager home. I'm so proud of you."

Tom looked at his dad. "Come on dad, I'm safe. Do not worry."

The Admiral smiled as he wiped away the tears. "We have Janeway to thank many times over. We can never repay for what she has done."

Tom got a sad look in his eyes. "It is too bad the only thing she can see is Starfleet. I guess that's what the past seven years has done. There was a price to pay and she is living her own hell."

Owen shook his head. "But even before Voyager, she had a life outside Starfleet. She was engaged to Justin and then Mark."

"Maybe it is not too late to find happiness for Chakotay."

Owen gave his son a stern look. "Happiness is something only you can find. Don't expect others to create it for you."

Tom nodded in affirmation.

"I remember her saying the park was a wind swept peninsula. There were hiking trails, enough not to worry about them becoming redundant. The castle there was under reconstruction when they went. The park is only an hour by air car outside San Francisco . I bet our Indian friend would get a kick out of eating at that Italian restaurant that they went too. I know for a fact it is still in business. Chakotay is a vegetarian and the place is Italian.


	14. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

**The Who**

Chapter 15 Rated K

(Italics mean the person is mentally thinking to himself.)

Chakotay sat by the computer terminal after talking to Tom and just sat there for a good hour. He went through all the stuff in his log cabin and packed up the remaining stuff that were solely presents that she had given him, as well as every thing from the Delta Quadrant would remind him of her. To totally leave the house image free of her, he would have to throw all memories of the Delta Quadrant and he was not planning to do that.

He had just come down the steps after putting all the boxes in the attic when the comm unit whistled at him. He saw that it was Tom and he greeted the pilot with a small smile.

"My father and I have planned out two thirds of the date and have just the girl part left."

The Indian gave Tom a shocked look. "Owen agreed to this? Wow!"

Tom shook his head. "You know what we all want but; it has been so long, and Kathryn has not changed her tune."

He searched his face for any hint of good news. He did not find any.

"You deserve to be as happy as B'Elanna and me. We need to find out your preference for the who."

Chakotay visibly flinched.

Tom paused for a moment. "The first few dates may be the hardest steps to take to reclaim your life, or should I say the life you want and deserve?"

Chakotay nodded.

"I have to be honest. Are you going to give the girl a chance, a honest chance?"

Chakotay did not hesitate as he nodded emphatically. "I am ready to take the first step to for happiness, but what if the blind date is not for me?"

Tom replied after a pregnant pause. "Then we try again till we get it right."

The Indian saw his hesitation. "What?"

Tom visibly gulped. "Do you want Starfleet or someone out side of it? What age range?"

Chakotay got a pensive look. He looked his friend straight in the eyes, via the comm. Channel.

"No Starfleet and someone who wants kids."

Tom sat straight up in chair. "Any ethnic or racial preferences?"

Chakotay smiled as he replied. "No Cardassians!"

Tom had a good hearty chuckle and Miral cooed. "I guess she agrees to."

"How about a Native American? Or at someone who can appreciate them?"

Chakotay's eyes got really wide and he rubbed his tattoo unconsciously.

"Can you really deliver on this?"

Tom shook his head. "This should be about what you want, NOT me."

Chakotay smiled. "I must admit I am intrigued. I am starting to look forward to this. Thank goodness, we are not in the Delta Quadrant any more. At least I do not have to worry about any of Leola roots dishes from Neelix."

Tom feigned a shocked look. "But Leola root was going to be the appetizer. Now what do I do?"

Chakotay could not help himself and had a belly laugh. When he finally could stop holding his side, he looked up and winked at Tom. "Thanks old friend. I really needed that. I have some errands to run."

Tom nodded and turned off the comm.

Chakotay took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through his hair and whistled as he turned the comm unit off.

_He admitted that he felt better then he thought he deserved to be. Life had not been fair to him and he knew he was not special. But he mentally asked why he should not have what Owen had and what Tom and B'Elanna had right now._

_Maybe this time next year I can be engaged. Hopefully the girl will not try to kill her animal spirit like B"Lana tried to. He tried to resist but had another belly laugh. He laughed so hard he had to make a dash for the bathroom. He peeked at him self in the mirror. He mentally reminded himself that he needed to get a haircut and go shopping for a new outfit. But since he did not know what the date would entail, he chose to hold off on that. _


	15. Chapter 16

Bina W

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

**Bina W.**

**Coming Home**

**Chapter 16**

**T**om looked again at the face of his Indian friend on the screen. "Long time no see my friend."

Chakotay did not smile, and that was something that Tom was beginning to get used to.

"I need to confide in you my friend."

"Of course. You know I am good for it."

That got a slight smile out of the Indian.

Tom leaned closer to the view screen. "As long as I do not have to deal with a angry Klingon as a result."

The smile reached Chakotay's eyes this time. He crossed his arms but did not say anything.

"You know the sex; especially make up sex with a Klingon is the best thing in the world! Are you sure you don't want to go on a date with a Klingon? I can find you one that is only 1/4th Klingon."

Chakotay laughed another belly laugh while Tom snickered.

After the former commander stopped holding his side from laughing so hard, he got a serious look in his eyes.

"I need you and B'Elanna to go and spend some time with Sam Wildman and Naomi."

"We would love to go spend the day with her and especially Naomi. Is there any reason why you are requesting this? I hear that they're adjusting quite well."

Chakotay just gave him a knowing look.

Tom took a step back and held up a hand.

"As soon as B'Elanna gets back from the academy, I will have her contact Sam ands her family."

Chakotay leaned back in the chair. I have stuff to do, but do not let on that this was my idea to Sam."

Tom nodded as Chakotay reached to sever the link.


	16. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 17.

The doc was finished up making his house calls earlier then usual. He was still adjusting to the Alpha Quadrant. The majority of Federation citizens that he had contact with still treated him like a hologram. Well, he tried not to let it get to him. Not everyone was as enlightened the crew of Starfleet's Voyager. Actually, he it seemed everyone wanted to hear stories about Voyager and their time in the Delta Quadrant. But then as soon as they had their fill, they treated him as a second class citizen. He sighed to himself. Okay, it was a simulated sigh, but he did not care. At least they were not out to prick and poke at him like Starfleet Command wanted to do to Seven of Nine. Poor Seven. First Chakotay left her for Kathryn and then Starfleet would just not leave her alone. He shook his head. Seven should have known from the beginning that she was not match for Admiral Janeway. Chakotay was so stuck on her and everyone in the crew was well aware of that. He knew what it is like to have unrequited love himself.

"Maybe I need to be cheered up."

He found himself meandering over to Admiral Paris' residence. When Tom opened the door, he was surprised to see the doc.

"Well, come on in Doc. This is a pleasant surprise. What can I get you to drink? Prune juice?"

The doc rolled his eyes. Surely you do not mistake me for a KLingon do you? Maybe it is time for another physical? You just had one but another one will not hurt."

Tom laughed. "You are worse then a Klingon! No sense of humor."

Both officers heard the real Klingon from the kitchen. "I heard that. How would you like me to reprogram your face doc?"

Tom snickered. The doc was not amused and just glared at the Klingon as she walked in to foyer. "I am pleased that some things never change. Your social skills still are still lacking like Seven's, the command teams are finally together, the sun still rises and sets…

Tom and B'Elanna exchanged glances but it was too late. By now he doc had stopped his incessant noise.

"Okay, time to fess up." He looked like he meant business as he looked at the former chief engineer and pilot from Voyager.

But they had guilty looks on their faces.

"Something happened?"

"They broke up."

The doc did a double take at B'Elanna. "What?"

Tom shrugged but looked very unhappy. "Janeway was married to the ship, now she is married to Stafleet Command.

"This is not funny, Tom Paris."

Tom looked at the doc. "I wish it was April 1st. After everything Chakotay did for her, she can't appreciate it. She always had an excuse."

B'Elanna interjected. "She is just having trouble adjusting to not always being in command. She just needs more time. She caught the look that the two men exchanged.

The doc rubbed his bald head. "I do not know what to say. If only this was something that could be fixed by a hypo spray."

Tom held up a hand. "Janeway has to live her own life, even if that means away from Chakotay. And the same goes for him."

B'Elanna looked like she was ready to break one of her husband's appendages. The doc glared at Tom. "I am not going to buy that.

The medic looked past Tom and at his wife. "Shall I hold him and you break his nose, or do I get to break it this time?"

B'Elanna rewarded him with a toothy grin. Tom shook his head. "I am serious."

Tom looked exasperated. "I have to go change Miral." With that he walked up the stairs and into the nursery.

B'Elanna gave the doc a knowing look.

The doc smiled. "I believe I have one more house call for the day." He winked at the Klingon and left.


	17. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 18

Doc Makes a House Call

The doc was whistling the theme to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as he walked up Janeway's house. "I wonder which dwarf she is." He roared with laugher at his own joke. When he got no answer, he just walked through her front door.

"Hello?" There was still no response.

He was shocked at what greeted him at the bottom of the stairs. Not only was there a torn up door at the bottom of the stairs, there was also several broken pictures and pieces of glass on the steps. The wall above the staircase looked like someone had torn big gaping holes in it. He quickly surveyed the downstairs, but found no Janeway.

"I should call the police." But then a second thought kept him from doing that. "Chakotay would not turn violent on her."

But he decided to do a check on the upstairs for Janeway.

The bed looked like it someone had used it for a gymnasium. He was about to go call the authorities when he noticed the light still on in the bathroom. When he walked inside, what he saw made him involuntarily gasp. There was a box on the counter top that made him freeze. It was a chemical abortion box. He looked inside and saw two unopened pills.

"I wonder if Chakotay knows about this. But from the state of the house, I assume he does. Maybe I can still save the day. Forget Captain Proton."

He rummaged around in his little black bag. "I should have some sugar pills I can switch these with. He did the deed, even managed to supply similar packing which he also sealed the sugar pills in.

He had just finished the deep when he heard a noise on the steps. They were getting louder. He put the black bag in the cabinet and picked up the box.

When he looked up, he was greeted with a very angry looking Admiral.

"To what do I owe this house call too?"


	18. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Little White Lies…

The Doctor looked up to see a very angry Admiral Janeway snatch away the box in his hand.

Her face was the same shade of her hair.

"What do you think you are doing, Doctor?"

Had he been human and not a hologram, he probably would have visibly swallowed very hard.

Since he was a hologram, one that did feel, but still a hologram, he was less vulnerable.

He looked onto a pair of blazing blue eyes. He had not seen them in this intensity since she had gone after the captain of U.S.S. Equinox. He tried to casually give her a hug, but she was having none of it and refused the gesture.

"I asked a straight forward question, and I want an answer. That does not mean in 70 years." She replaced her hands on her hips.

"I see you have not lost your sense of humor, Admiral." He gave her a withering look.

"I wanted to say hi. I should have knocked but there was no answer. I'm

sorry for the rudeness. I then saw the mess and thought it best to investigate.

I guess even holograms should mind their p's and q's?"

Now it was her turn to give him a withering look and she did.

"Yes, where are my manners? It's good to see you. How do you like

life in the Alpha Quadrant?"

He smiled at her and then replied. 'I think better then you seem to like it."

He did not miss the split second look of sadness in her eyes.

"I was wondering why your bedroom and stairs look like a tornado hit.

Then I found this box. I can only assume that is also why your

bedroom door is at the bottom of your staircase?"

She could not meet his eyes.

"Have you taken any of these pills?"

She shook her head no. "This is part of patient-doc privacy…"

But he did not let her finish. "I know how to do my job, Admiral."

"I assumed that the father is Chakotay?"

He was rewarded with a shake of her red hair.

He did not give her the look she was expecting. "I assumed

you would be surprised, Doctor."

The EMH looked at her. "Our former commander does not

have the personality to get this violent over a potential mate

deciding to use a contraceptive."

Still she did not say anything.

He looked at her with concern. "So were you…"

She shook her head once again.

"Are you sure? Do you want an examination?"

She held up her hand to the doctor to stop him. "Nothing

happened to me."

He raised his eyebrows. "It is none of my business but the

bed does look like some one got a work out in it."

She turned bright red again.

"I did but he did not do anything that was not consensual."

"Congratulations, it only took you seven years."

Janeway gave him a funny look as she searched his face

for any signs of sarcasm. There were no traces.

She did not reply.

"If it was not him, then you should get yourself checked out.

Do it anyway. Better be safe."

She visibly bristled at his advice and got tense. "It WAS him."

More moments of silence followed.

The doctor looked at her straight in the eyes. "It is YOUR

body, Admiral. But he's the best friend you will ever have.

You both have been through so much."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm so sick of hearing this."

He nodded. "I understand. "But he would make a responsible

and terrific father...

Chakotay would respect and honor your body and your wishes.

He did it for seven years. Are you not going to at least give

him the choice to be a father?'

She did not look very happy at this moment she did not want

to have this conversation again. "I do not know if I am

pregnant. We have mutually decided that it is not in our

best interest to date or be friends."

He was speechless. He was shocked into silence. After

a full minute of her just watching him for a response,

he found his voice. "The last seven years and what you

two shared meant nothing?"

"DOC, you know better then to twist my words.

I am grateful for his help. I would not have been

able to get us home without him. We both know

that, as well as all of Starfleet."

The EMH just nodded.

She picked up one packaging that contained the pills.

The doc grabbed her hand. "Do you know how to use that?"

She gave a raised eyebrow. "I am a scientist."

He nodded and let go off her wrist.

She undid the packaging and ingested one pill.

He looked at her to see if she was going to have a reaction.

"I can still undue what you just did if you want me to?"

She shook her head as tears came out of her eyes. He reached

out to comfort her but she shaking. She was so distraught

over what she did that she covered her face with her hands and

turned away.

The doc saw his chance and scanned her with the medical tricorder.

hidden in his medical bag, but within easy reach. He waited till he

replaced his tricorder back in the bag before addressing her again.

"I can help you and it will not cause any harm if you are indeed pregnant."

She turned back to him and saw the soft look on his face, but she was not going to let her touch him. 'Please just leave."

He shook his head. "You should not be alone at this time.

Can I call someone to stay with you? I can call B'Elanna or Sam Wildman for you?"

"GET OUT! I want to be left alone!" The doctor nodded at her and left.

She waited a few minutes after he left to do what she knew had to do.


	19. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 20

Chakotay's face softened as the image of the Doc appeared on his view screen.

"What can I do for an old friend, Doc?"

"It is just your usual house call, Commander."

The Indian smiled his dazzling smile.

"No need for formality Doc."

The look on the doc's face softened just for a moment.

"So how are you liking the Alpha Quadrant, Doc?"

The Doctor gave his former first officer a withering look. "I think I prefer the Delta Quadrant. At least there I was not just a hologram to order around."

"It will take time Doc…"

At the mention of the word time, the doc got a funny look in his eyes.

Chakotay sensed that he was about to hear something he did not want to hear. The Doctor watched as he stiffened.

"What?"

The Indian crossed his arms. "That won't work. It doesn't

work with Tom, so I don't know why you bother with the innocent act."

His friend shook his head.

"What ever she wants, I am not interested."

The medic hesitated, looked away and then back at the screen.

"Does seven years no mean anything?'

This was more then Chakotay could handle. He was on his feet, fists clenched at his sides. His fade was as red as his former lover's hair. He was reaching to terminate the link, when the doc spoke up.

"I will relieve you."

The former Maquis froze but his face did not change color.

He sat back down, hard in the seat.

"Did she put you up to this?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"I did EVERYTHNG FOR HER for seven years! Everyone is so concerned about her. What about my needs?"

The Doctor just stared until Chakotay stopped rattling on.

"I am on leave. You cannot do anything."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I can keep you planet side."

"YOU have no right." Chakotay's voice was soft but the look in his eyes was anything but that. "She is not my concern." He slammed a fist on his desktop."

"You will comply!" He had never seen the Doctor yell and turn red. It shocked him into silence and into sitting down. He nodded but did not bother to say bye before severing the connection.


	20. Chapter 21

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 21

Ch 21

Janeway managed not to shake. She knew it was a miracle.

"I need to see out my spirit guide. I can handle this right? I beat the Borg. I did have help, but I was the captain. Everyone keeps saying how strong I am, so they must be right?"

"Maybe some people are not meant to get married. I promised not to become like the Admiral, but I guess some things are just meant to be. Not he and I, she thought.

She thought it was hysterically funny that she was talking out loud to herself. When she was done laughing herself silly, she turned to crying. Unfortunately, her tears blinded her as she was reaching the last of the steps. She missed a step and fell. The abortion pill box went flying, hit the wall and landed near her head. She was sprawled out on the bottom of the steps, just a few inches from a corner of the door that her former friend had thrown down steps.


	21. Chapter 22

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 22

The Doc and Kim Scheme

Chapter 22

The Doc's next house call was for a certain Asian. Not just any Asian, but the most famous one in the Alpha Quadrant, Harry Kim. When Harry opened the door to admit the Doctor, he looked like he was going to start sweating.

The Doctor patted his back and jut ignored the scared look on the younger man's face.

"So are we ready for plan A?"

Harry's eyebrows disappeared under his bangs. "Um, I think so Doc?"

His friend gave him a withering look and then shook his head.

Harry looked all around except at his friend for the better part of a minute.

The Doctor just snorted in response to the smirk on his friend's face. "Not yet. But the date will include a hike and dinner at an Italian place. And the girl will be a Native American, and NOT in Starfleet, as you know. Also, Admiral Janeway will be going on a blind date and not with a Native American."

Harry gave the medic a wistful look. "I sure hope this does not back fire." The Doctor made a comment about having faith.

Harry shook his head and laughed. "How could I forget? You are the LOVE Doc!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I am thankful that Tom and B'Elanna are better actors then you are."

Harry had a confused look on his face. "B'Elanna is a horrible actor. I think Libby and I should go in place of B'Elanna and Tom."

The medic did not blink.

Harry crossed his arms as he glared at the officer. "You DID agree it should be a double date."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Is there anything else I should know?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No it would violate patient-doctor confidentiality. I regret to inform you that your part in this is not yet over.'

Harry took a step back and held up both hands in mock surrender. "I give up, I give up!"

His friend frowned.

"What?"

"I certainly hope you were just joking my part in this is not over."

Harry sighed. "Let me guess, I get to be the one who gets to convince Admiral Janeway to go on a date? I mean a date does NOT include her former first officer?"

"So do you have any more aces up that sleeve of yours?"

"I think that Admiral Janeway should go on her date alone."

The Doctor nodded but had a mischief glint in his eyes.

Harry squeaked like a mouse. "So I have to pick her date and convince her to show up?

The Doctor glared at him. "Must Tom and I do all the work?"

Harry feigned being afraid. He covered his eyes with his hand.

"I am not sure that getting the former command team stark jealous is going to get the Admiral to agree to commit to him. She is quite stubborn. We have our work cut out for us."

The Doctor glared at him. "Must Tom and I do all the work?"


	22. Chapter 23

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 23

Chakotay kept ringing the buzzer. The more he rang it, the madder he became. Finally, when he realized the joke was on him, he just entered her code and then walked inside.

"Admiral?" He called her name several times but got not answer.

He checked all downstairs but she was no where to be found. He rubbed his tattoo. He was so tired of not being able to live his life without having her forced on him. What he saw as he approached the bottom of the stairs was a scene that would haunt him for the better part of a week.

He carefully removed the door, taking care not to hit her in the head with it.

Part of him heard a thud as he reached for her, but all he could focus on was her.

He went to pick her up, but his left foot crunched down on something. He looked down and saw a crushed box and peered inside. What he saw made his heart skip a few beats.

He carefully picked of Kathryn and cradled her in his arm. She was small and not any problem to balance. He put her head and shoulder on his shoulder, and his arm and hand supported her back and torso. He kept the box in his other hand.

She was jostled enough to open her eyes just a little. She saw him look at the box, peer inside and then at her. His look made her want to die as he struggled not to drop her as his whole body convulsed. The look of rage mixed with disappointment scared her and her body involuntarily trembled for less then five seconds. But she knew that he had felt her fear.


	23. Chapter 24

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek!

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 24

Harry propped himself against the old antique desk in the foyer of the Paris house

Tom was busy talking a mile a minute. The Asian's face had a look of complete disbelief on it as he crossed his arms. "Tom, how did you get Chakotay to agree on a date?"

Tom's face took on a haunted and pained look. "He realized it was time to move on."

Harry furrowed his eyes in response. "Come on, this is our Former First Officer we're talking about."

Tom rolled his eyes. "I am well aware."

Harry held up a hand. "He loved her through all three Q's, the Kazon and the Borg."

Tom hit himself in the forehead with a hand. "I am sick of hearing those exact words and I am not even him! What about that that Kashyk guy?"

Harry held up a hand again. "That is low! And that is not how you pronounce that name."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Please do enlighten me, Harry..."

Harry shrugged his shoulders "I do not know, but that is not his name. It does not matter." But the Asian could not quite meet his best friend's eyes as he spoke. "She was doing her duty. That does not count, and Chakotay has no right to hold that against her!"

Tom looked at his friend in total disbelief. "Are you even listening to yourself?! You are justifying the Admiral sleeping with him."

Harry opened his mouth to speak. "She felt that was her only way to save the ship. It was a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the two of them. She hated him. It was not like she wanted too."

Tom snorted. "So what you are saying is that she was justified in sleeping with that piece of scum to save the ship and Chakotay should have looked the other way?"

"Yes! No!!"

Tom gave his friend a withering look. "Make up your mind, Harry."

Harry was looking very upset. "I wasn't her. Besides she was the captain. Who are we to question her?"

Tom laughed but it was not a nice sound. "Harry, what a cop out! There is absolutely no situation in which a woman has to degrade herself to save the ship... They did not teach her that at the academy!"

Harry's face turned all red. "They also did not teach you how to deal with being stranded 70,000 years away!" Harry looked at the floor. "The Doc and I think they both should go on a date, but not with each other."

Tom rolled his eyes again. "Why?"

Harry looked fearful. "She needs to get stark jealous."

His friend almost lost his balance, he was so surprised. His jaw dropped for a slit second.

"She needs to move on and let Chakotay get over her!"

Harry clenched his right fist. "You are wrong this time. After all she did for you, you are going to give up on her?" It was more a sneer then a question.

This time, it Tom's turn to have a red face. "I do not need reminding of everything she did for me."

But Harry had enough. He walked out the door.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.


	24. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 25

Tom and B'Elanna fight.

As soon as Harry departed, Tom heard a sound like a tornado coming through the front of the house. In reality, it was not a tornado. It was the sound of a half Klingon opening the kitchen door. That sound was followed by the door being swung so hard that it was barely hanging on by its hinges. Tom was holding the baby and looked up to see a storm also know as his wife come in to family room. As she opened her mouth, he held up a hand in warning. He gestured toward the baby softly cooing his arms.

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. "Tom, I heard your fight with Harry…"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You actually agree with him about her sleeping with the enemy? You are a female!"

She had a momentarily startled look on her face.

"She did whatever she had to do to get us home and still deserve to wear that uniform!"

"How can you side with Harry? There is no situation where a woman has to go to bed to get a job done!"

B'Elanna was rapidly losing her fight to stay patient. "I would like to think you are right. But she did not have very many options and she took the one that would protect us the most."

Tom looked at his wife with tears in her eyes. Her facial expression was identical to his own. "She went through what no Starfleet officer or captain had to deal with. She should not have to be alone. But things have not worked out between Chakotay and her."

B'Elanna got an almost feral look in her eyes.

"So you are just going to give up on her, just like that?"

Tom did not know what to say to comfort his wife, when he was hurting himself so much.

"She cannot see beyond Starfleet."

"The majority of her life has been Starfleet, especially the last seven years. It is not so easy or quick for her not be able to disentangle from Starfleet."

Tom got an exasperated look on his face. "I am not asking her to separate herself from Starfleet! I want her to experience life."

By now Miral looked like she wanted to cry, but both adults failed to notice this.

"She has been where pretty much no one from the Alpha Quadrant has been. I do not count Captain Ransom as counting. The journey for all of us for the last seven years has been wonders, miracles and horrors. Instead of the seven wonders, it has been seven years of wonders."

Tom would have smiled at her choice of words, had she not been so stressed he would of smiled.

"What do you think she should be doing? She just deserves to have a normal life."

Tom glare at her. "Have you even heard one word I have been saying?"

He was rewarded with a growl. But he was not intimidated.

"A normal life for most of humanity apparently does not apply to her!"

"How dare you!" If you were not my husband, I would have broken your arm by now!"

"B'Elanna! We got married and had a kid. That is normal."

"So what is your point? Maybe she is not cut out for that."

Tom inspected her eyes closely.

"Well, what about Chakotay? Just cauz she might not settle down does that mean he has to be alone for the rest of his life?"

B'Elanna's face was mixed with pain and hesitancy. "They love each other very much. But he will never get over her."

"Never is a very long time, B'Elanna." Tom's voice and face were quite soft.

"If you set Chakotay up on a date, it will not only hurt him, but cause her pain. When she finds about this, she will also feel pain at Harry and your hands."

Tom would have thrown up his hands in defeat if he had not had a baby in his arms.

"So what is better?"

"I do not know." B'Elanna looked miserable. Most people did not like to admit defeat. But the Klingon in her was also at a total loss as what to do.

"But Chakotay does not deserve to be brought down with her."

B'Elanna lost her temper. "How can you dismiss her so quicklyans so cold? If it was not for her, you would still be rotting in a jail cell!"

Tom's face turned as red as Janeway's hair. "I do not need you to remind me about the second chance she gave me as well as you and the twenty other Maquis on the ship."

He had forgotten about Miral in his arms and was yelling.

"But Chakotay does not deserve to be miserable. It will hurt everyone the whole crew and it will probably will hurt him for a while. But you know I am right."

B'Elanna looked away and then at him and nodded. "We just have to make sure she does not know about his date."

Tom's eyebrows disappeared behind his bangs. "They do not have secrets."He will find out sooner or later."

B'Elanna preferred her battles in the open. "You would disrespect their memories and everything they have done for us and the ship by keeping it a secret?!" She had a look of total disbelief on her face.

Miral started whimpering, but she was drowned out by the yelling.

"Ptak!"

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Do not curse in front of our child."

"You're maturity is less then her's!"

"Well, I am tired of hearing about poor Janeway this and poor Janeway that!!" Tom did not even bother lowering his voice for their child.

'He loved her through the three Q's, the Kazon and the Borg!"

The Klingon sneered at him. "I thought you told Harry that you were tired of hearing those exact words? My, you are quite the hypocrite!"

Tom gritted his teeth.

At that moment, Owen came into the room. "I was in the office preparing a report, but could not hear myself think, due to all the noise. He gave a glare to his family, as he picked up a howling and distraught Miral and walked away.

He turned back into the room. "We cannot live their lives for them."


	25. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Ch26

Coming Home

_**This is a flashback scene she is having as Chakotay is holding her and the chemical abortion box.**_

Admiral Janeway was in her office, sipping her third cup of coffee when her door buzzed. She almost choked on her drink. Part of her hoped it would be her old friend, but the other part of her was afraid. She pushed the key that would announce her presence to whoever was outside her door.

"Come in."

She was pleasantly surprised to see Harry Kim. As she gestured for him to sit on her couch, she affectionately squeezed his shoulder. He smiled up at her.

"Shall I get you something to drink or eat?"

He smiled again but shook his head... By that time she had drained her third cup a poured her fourth. She sat down next to him. "So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Harry?"

She saw the hesitation in his eyes. "How are your folks?"

Harry nodded as he looked at her. "They're fine."

"Libby?"

He answered her with a Cheshire cat grin. "We are engaged and want you to marry us, Admiral."

She put down her cup of coffee and gave him a hug. He returned the gesture.

When they had released her, she said; "Surely you can call me Kathryn? I'm not your commanding officer anymore."

He smiled. "I'll try."

"Have you set a date?"

He shook his head.

Her eyes were sparkling for his happiness. There was an awkward pause that rarely happened. "What is it?"

He smiled, but couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Harry, you can tell me anything. You know it will stay between us. I take it is not 'fleet related?"

He got up and started to pace, then he looked up at her. "I think you need to get over Commander Chakotay."

She sat down hard on the couch and looked at him.

He forced himself to look straight at her, showing no emotion.

"Did he put you up to this?"

Harry shook his head.

"Is this what you came here for?

"Kathryn, yes, it was, sadly." He folded his hands in his lap.

"He is ready to date."

Her breath caught inside her for a moment. "He is dating? Who is the lucky girl?"

Harry evaded that question. "I think you should go on a date, without him."

"It has been a long time, Harry."

"Kathryn, we all are thankful, grateful and words cannot appreciate how proud we all are of you. But you have been sacrificing for others for way too long. We all love and respect you and want to see you happy." He looked at her intensely. "We want you to be as happy as B'Elanna and Tom are. You deserve to have a child."

She was trying to keep on her Captain's mask and was failing.

"Harry spoke very softly to her. "You are a very nurturing person. You have so much to love to give. It is a shame and should be criminal to not have someone to share that with."

Tears began rolling down her face.

"I did not come here to make you cry." As he watched the tears come from her eyes, his face crumbled.

He heard her whimper "Chakotay."

"It did not work out did it Kathryn?"

"No, no it didn't. He waited seven years, and things are not what we had so hoped they would be between the two of us. I am sorry to burden you, Harry."

He stroked the small of her back. "As you said, the crew is family, and I am here for you." It hurt him so much to hear the heart wracking sobs from her, especially over Chakotay.

"We all wanted things to work out Kathryn, between the two of you. Life has not been fair to you in some respects. Justin died, Mark moved on after he thought you had died and married someone else."

"We had help, but Chakotay and I are the command team from Voyager. We did the impossible. We brought her home. How could things not work out? I can't believe this."

Harry gently put her head on his shoulder and let her cry herself to sleep.


	26. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own TREK

Disclaimer: I do not own TREK.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 27

He Begins to Feel Alive Again!

This is a flashback scene to his date, earlier that day.

Flash back scene

Chakotay closed his eyes as he heard her whimper his name. She attempted to lean up enough so she could make physical contact with his face. He turned his head to the side. When he opened his eyes, he could see her struggling to lean upwards. She was holding her head with one hand. When she saw he was not going to help her, she ceased her quest for comfort and kept her eyes closed.

He kept her in his arm as he silently scanned her with a medical tricorder. As he read her vital signs on the tricorder, he pressed his lips together tightly. He flashbacked to the date he had just been on. It was his first one in the Delta Quadrant, and he had to admit it went much better then he had hoped.

Screaming Eagle and him had hit off quite well. She was beautiful and regal in her own way. Her skin was shades lighter then his. She had black eyes, and thick, long black, glossy hair. He had agreed to double date with Harry, and his fiancé, Libby.

They had showed up quite early that morning. Harry had made plans for them to have lunch, a hike, and to go feed the seagulls at Point Reyes National Park .

They had lunch at Fresno 's, an Italian restaurant. Everybody had agreed the food had been to die for. They had such a good time over lunch, that everyone had lost track of the time.

They had to postpone the hike planned at Point Reyes National Park .

They ended a wonderful time by feeding the seagulls on the windswept peninsula.

Everyone promised to get together another time to go on the hike.

While Chakotay walked his date to the air car, something truly unexpected had happened. He felt that spark with his date. It was not strong like it had been for the Admiral, but it was there. He could see in Screaming Eagle's eyes that she had felt it also. They had agreed that they would both like to see where the date took them.

Then, the Doctor ruined a perfect day by ordering him to her place.


	27. Chapter 28

A Date for the Admiral (This is a flashback she has while Chakotay is having is own)

A Date for the Admiral (This is a flashback she has while Chakotay is having is own)

It was a week before her request for a full day off from work would arrive. So she did what she did best. She threw herself back in her work in Starfleet. There were meetings, business dinners, and more than enough other work to keep her from thinking of Chakotay.

Finally the day of the date arrived. She was not torn over it. Her last meeting with Chakotay hadn't gone well at all. That was an understatement. He hadn't let her touch him.

She was nervously tidying up her office when she heard a buzz from outside her door. It was quite early, not even noon and it was her day off. She had a very good idea who would be at the other end of the door. It was her date.

She had to admit she liked the initial profile of the very tall blond haired man standing in her room. He was tall, maybe two inches taller than Chakotay, but that was where the similarities ended. He was skinny but muscular enough for her tastes. He had hazel eyes, and his hair was the same shade of blonde as Seven's. He walked over to her and held out bouquet of Denobian blood red flowers. They looked like dandelions, only they were red. The two of them quickly sized each other up. He was wearing dark blue Dickeys, dark blue boots, and a white pressed dress shirt.

She loved to dress up but hadn't been in many occasions to get all fancy in the last several years. Admiral Janeway was wearing a dark green evening gown, with a slit in the side. The dress had sleeves that came to her elbows and had a v-neck, but it was modest. She wore her hair in a French twist and topped it off with lighter green heels. The dress was made of some kind of soft, shimmering material that accentuated her figure in a modest way.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back. "Charles Fresno the third."

She gave him a warm smile back as he held out his arm for her. Twenty minutes later, her date was pulling out her chair so she could sit down. It was lunch time at a restaurant called Sam's. The atmosphere smelled of New Orleans spices. Her mouth watered as one waiter passed by her table with a dish that smelled of Cajun spices.

As the same man passed by again, Charles waved him over. "I would like two champagne glasses and vintage 2120 Verdi champagne." He smiled at Janeway who smiled back at him.

The waiter nodded and then turned to her. "Would you like some coffee brought to you before the wine?" She snuck at look at her date and smiled in appreciation but shook her head. "Maybe later."

Charles repeated his order to the waiter, never taking his eyes off the officer.

"I see you did your homework on me." She smiled at her date.

He shook his head. "Your reputation precedes you, as does your love for coffee. Rumor is that you beat the Borg with it."

She looked down to hide her sad smile and then looked back at him.

"I hope I am not too predictable."

Her date reached over and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry. That is the last thing anyone should call you. I bet being predictable would not have brought you 70,000 light years in 7 years."

She smiled appreciatively at him. They sipped their wine as they tried to decide what to order. Her date was a vegetarian. He finally ordered Vulcan plomeek soup, the Vulcan version of Aloo Bhaji (Hindi for braised Potatoes with Tomatoes) a fruit salad, and creamed corn.

She had a steak, seasoned green beans, a garden salad, and a Bolian purple vegetable, which resembled the consistency of sweet potato pie. She found out that he was the head contractor for Bajor. His job was to help in the reconstruction of Bajor, after the Cardassian occupation. He talked about his job and how he was lucky to be a part of something that made a difference in people's lives.

"I wonder why the Federation made a treaty with the Cardassians, knowing full well what they did to Bajor.

"I have wondered that myself."

"I guess Starfleet and the Federation cannot save everybody."

Kathryn got a serious look n her eyes as she looked at him.

"What is it?"

She swallowed hard. "It's a shame what happened to Bajor. All the pain, suffering, and death. It is so tragic."

He could tell her pain was genuine and he was touched. He reached over and squeezed her hand. "I wanted to make a difference so I won the bid for my company to help rebuild Bajor. Everyone deserves a second chance."

She pulled away from his hand and almost did not keep the contents of her stomach from exiting her mouth. She looked embarrassed. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Are you going to be okay? Do I need to take you home?"

She shook her head. "This Bolian geeza is quite sweet. That is all."

He nodded. "So what is your favorite experience from the Delta Quadrant?

She had a shocked expression on her face. She put down her fork.

The first image that came to mind was New Earth, but of course she did not say so.

Charles laughed nervously. "That was okay right? Surely that was not the first time you have been asked that?"

She finally regrouped herself. "No of course not. But it was a loaded question."

He laughed. 'Would it be easier if I asked what your worst memory was?

She laughed a belly laugh. It felt so good and it was contagious two. He laughed so hard he had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

When he came back she had totally recovered. "I think the Borg were the most trying…"

"So what was it like to make a deal with the devil?" He looked serious but his tone was light.

She gave him a withering glance.

He held up his hand in mock surrender. "You did come back with a former Borg. You have to know I am not the only curious one."

She nodded.

There was a moment of silence as she pondered. But by then, both were done eating.

"Coffee?"

She rolled her eyes and the smile reached them.

"It is a beautiful night out. Can we eat dessert out on their patio?"

She nodded and they went outside to one the booths outside.

He ordered two coffees for her.

"Since you ordered the coffee, can I pick the sweets?"

"How can I possibly no to Starfleet's Darling?"

She rolled her eyes as she ordered two Betazoid hot fudge sundaes.

They had just finished their dessert when she felt the need to throw up.

"I think we should call it a night, Kathryn?"

"I'm sorry Charles."

"Don't be. We can always go horse back riding when you feel better. I should get you home."

Back in her place, her date was reluctant to leave her alone."

"Shall I call the doctor for you, your medical hologram, maybe?"

"That would be great. His code is on a piece of paper, on the desktop."

Charles frowned. There were two pieces of paper, with two sets of numbers.

He shrugged and punched in one code. The face of a bald looking Human appeared and was frowning.

"Who the heck are you?"

"I am sorry doc. I am Charles Fresno the Third, her date."

"I am her doctor."

"She had too many sweets for our date."

Charles ignored him as the hologram raised an eyebrow at the mention of her having a date.

"I will be right over. Get her something to drink, not coffee, water. Make sure she sips."

Charles went to open his mouth, but the connection was already severed.

Bout 10 minutes later, he looked up to see the doctor arrive in the foyer.

Her date glared at him. "From what I have seen, the Borg have better social graces then you! Ever heard of knocking?"

The doc rolled his eyes and gave him a questioning look.

The blonde man mouthed the family room couch.

"I cannot believe you were the one to give Annika Hansen social lessons."

"I cannot believe she went on a date with you!"

"Please, I have a patient."

Charles looked out of place as he watched the Doctor scan her with some boxy looking thing. "Can I help?"

The doc gave him a withering look. "No." He returned to fussing over his patient.

Charles just folded his arms and watched as the Doctor made some clucking noises over his date.

"You can rest assured; I can take care of her. She is in good hands. You may go."

Charles looked at him disbelief. "Kathryn, I'll call you."

She smiled weakly at him.

As soon as he heard the door slam, the Doctor allowed a smug grin to appear. He mentally thought to himself; 'Now it is time for plan B.'


	28. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Hmmm, I though I'd sent Chapter 29. Here it is.

Chapter 29

Chakotay was very upset. He carried her into her kitchen and handed her some pills for her headache as he filled up a glass of water for her to drink. He tilted her head so she could take a few sips. Then, he carried her in his arms as he paced.

She looked into his eyes and saw fury mixed with pity in those eyes that had been beautiful to her for more then seven years.

He picked up the chemical abortion box and carried them both to the couch in the living room. He gently laid her on the couch and set the box next to the glass of water.

"It's been 10 days."

When she opened her eyes, he was standing just out of her arms reach from the couch.

"Chakotay…"

He heard her squeak his name. But he was almost beyond words. He looked at the lovely dark green evening dress she wore. It suited her, it really did. The dress was made from some kind of shimmering fabric and the sleeves came to her elbow. The neck line was a v neck, but was modest and there was a slip in the side of the dress.

She liked what she saw from him. He was wearing blue jeans, a white pressed American Indian inspired shirt, and moccasins.

"Why are you dressed up?"

"I was on a date, Admiral."

"That is quite the dress. What was the occasion?"

She hesitated, looked away and back at him. "I was on a date."

There were many moments of silence.

"How was your date?"

Chakotay shook his head. "I don't think you really want to know. It was perfect till Doc ordered me here. He threatened to keep me planet side." A pregnant pause went by. "Are you not going to ask?

He shook his head. "I am not here for small talk. I have to finish something that you started." He walked closer to her with the glass of water in one hand and the pill in the other hand.

She covered her face with her hands. He heard sobs coming from her.

He searched him self to see if he felt anything, and was relieved when all he felt was annoyance.

"Please do not make me do this." Her plea was pitiful sounding.

"You are the one who took the first step with the pill."

"No."

"Yes, it was you."

"I don't want to do this."

He shook his head as he put down the glass of water. He took her hands from her face with his free hand. "The doc said that if you got pregnant, then the first pill could cause complications for the baby and you."

"So you do care."

"I do not want to be the father of a deformed baby who could suffer as a result of your selfishness and impulsivity."

"I love you."

"No you do not. You could have killed our baby."

"But you just said…"

He put his hand under her chin and gently forced her to look at him. "I said could have.You did not even give me the chance to make that decision. Before Seska lied about her child being mine, you knew I still wanted the child. You knew that."

Her eyes widened. "Give me another chance…"

"You blew it. Doc said there could be medical complications." He unwrapped the pill packaging and they looked at each other.

"How did we get like this?"

"You had to be in control. You could not let go, even after we made it home. You are reckless to the point where you could have endangered another being besides yourself, what should have been our baby."

He saw the glimmer of hope in her eyes.

His face hardened. "You only think of yourself."

Her face turned red. "I left us stranded in the Delta Quadrant so that the Ocampa would not be enslaved by the Kazon. How can you say that?"

He rolled his eyes. "You also slept with that alien, Kahayk."

"That is not his name."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

"I had no choice."

He sneered at her. "As Tom would say, a woman always had a choice."

"I did what I thought had to be done to save the ship." She looked deep into her eyes. "It was not something I enjoyed. I was wanted for it to be you, not him so badly that I cried for hours."

He raised an eyebrow. "I never heard you and we have quarters next to each other."

She wiped away a tear. "I hid my pain from you. I didn't deserve comfort from you."

There were many minutes of silence between them. "What about Riley?"

He rubbed his tattoo and looked back at her. "What about her?"

"You slept with her."

His eyes were filled with pity. "No."

She was shocked and it shone on her face. "What? Seven?"

He just looked at her. "No again. It may make you feel better to play the blame game, but I will not stoop to your immaturity, Admiral."

"I must look like I have lost my best friend."

He snorted. "That is exactly the look you are wearing, and you're correct. You have lost your best friend."

"You never slept with Seven?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Did you not hear me? You HAVE lost your best friend."

He tried to hand her the pill, and she slapped it away, menacingly.

He shook his head. "If you will not take it, I will have to put it in your mouth."

She got a scared look to her eyes.

"I promise as the person who was the best thing that happened to you, I will not be violent. You know me better then that." He brought the pill towards her mouth and leaned towards her. She was lying down on the couch. He put the pill in her mouth and watched her swallow. "Let me see."

She opened her mouth and closed it.

He gently but firmly parted her mouth with his tongue. He probed all over.

She put her tongue all the way in his mouth and explored also for a moment.

She started to cry and her body convulsed with sobs.

He removed his tongue, and walked out of her life.


	29. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 30.

Phoebe to the Rescue

He was just closing the door when he heard a noise and realized Kathryn had a call. He waited to hear that his former friend was going to say she would take the call. When he did not hear anything, he ran back into the house and checked on her. She was sleeping on the couch.

He was annoyed to see the familiar face on the Admiral's view screen. The face of Gretchen Janeway appeared on his screen. Phoebe was standing behind her mother, hands on her shoulders. Both ladies were frowning.

"What do I owe the honor of this call?" Chakotay's voice was calm, but they could see that he was speaking through clenched teeth.

Gretchen's voice was soft but there was an edge to it. It sounded like the child who was denied her favorite sweet.

"Chakotay."

Her daughter was not so polite.

"Would you like me to bitch slap you back to that planet that was yours before the Fed gave it to the Cardies?"

Chakotay's face turned bright red. He knew Phoebe knew it was a sensitive issue for him.

She had fire in her just like Kathryn. He was not surprised, and secretly he was glad that

Phoebe did not disappoint him. She was a Janeway after all, and he expected no less.

"We are not strangers, and we have not done anything wrong to you."

He knew that he was wrong. He fractionally nodded his head to her.

"This is painful for us also, Chakotay. But you promised in front of Kathryn that we were just as important as she was."

"Things are not good between us."

The two women looked at each other and rolled their eyes before looking back at him. The scene was not lost on him.

"I have not forgotten."

Then stop being a stranger!" Phoebe's eyes looked like they could have cut through stone.

"You expect me to keep up a relationship with the two of you?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"I have just one question for you, Mr. Indian. Were you lying then or now?"

"Phoebe, you have no right! How dare you? I am a Starfleet officer!!"

He now stood up and the ladies could see that his fists were clenched.

Gretchen gave her daughter a glare and shook her head at her before returning to the screen.

"Your friendship is paramount to us. Surely you know that?"

Chakotay smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes.

The sadness between the three of them was palpable.

Gretchen's voice was unsure. "You have done the impossible. My daughter and you can still…"

He held up a hand to cut her off. "It is too late."

She shook her head. Phoebe was not so quick to give up.

"You are the command team who got your ship home in 7 years. You proved that impossible is not a word, at least when it comes to Starfleet."

The Indian sighed. It took effort not to terminate the link. She was beginning to really annoy him.

"I'm coming over," said Phoebe.

Gretchen squeezed her eyes shut and then reopened them.

That shut up the two of them for a moment.

"You would refuse family? It is not like you had anyone to come back to Chakotay. What the Federation and Starfleet did to you was wrong. But can you afford this pride of yours? Is Starfleet all you want to come home to?"

Phoebe and he both lowered their heads in shame.

He looked up at Phoebe. "I would be happy to see you."

She looked suspicious. "I only want to come if you are genuine."

He gave her a lopsided grin.

"Do not let my sis know." He looked at both the Janeway's in puzzlement but nodded before terminating the link.

Meanwhile back at the Kathryn's…

Chakotay turned to his former friend. "I need to meditate and do not wish to bothered for a while."

She looked up at him as she lay back on the couch. She yawned and nodded. She was asleep by the time he peered at her closely.

A few minutes later, he heard the bell ring. He quickly strode over to the door and did not hesitate to open it.

Phoebe smiled at gave him a bear hug after he closed the door.

"Would you like some lunch?"

"I am not hungry."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I understand that this is important to you and your mother."

"I am just here to visit an old friend. After all you did for her in the Delta Quadrant, you will always be family."

"I am pleased to see you."

She looked at his eyes.

"I am serious, Phoebe. He briefly touched her hand and she nodded.

"What is in the bag?"

She looked down at little black bag and then back at him. "Just some scented salts for her baths."

He smile back at her and gestured for them to meet in the den.

I am going to fix myself a sandwich and then I will be back. "Are you sure you do not want anything?"

She looked unsure of herself. "I probably should eat. Yes. I think I would like some plomeek soup. Mom always liked fresh food so we never had a replicator in the house. Can you replicate it for me?"

He smirked at her. "You are more like your sister than your parents."

She playfully pinched him.

"I will be happy to make it for you for scratch. You are a Janeway."

She gave him a lopsided grin. "Where is she?"

He gestured her to stay seated. "She is on the couch in the family room."

He left to go prepare the soup as Phoebe went to check on her sister.

Phoebe checked her sis's pulse and forehead. She searched her face to see any signs that she was faking sleep. She gave a look across the room to the door to the kitchen. Then she quietly tiptoed and stood till she was right behind the Indian in the kitchen.

He was whistling to himself and was very much engrossed in laying an assortment of vegetables on the chopping block on the counter.

She cleared her throat and he jumped.

"Would you hand me the vegetable peeler, Phoebe?"

She smiled at him and saw her chance.

"Just a moment. I forgot to take my vitamin. She reached into the drawer for the peeler but did not give it to him. She ignored his outstretched hand.

She turned her back to him as she reached into her bag and pulled out something and cautiously put it in her deep pocket. She was handing the peeler to him, but accidently tripped on his foot. They both went down. That was when she stabbed him with the hypo spray that she has in his pocket. As he got up, he rubbed his torso. She looked at him from the floor, the peeler lying on the floor next to her. He helped her up and went to grab the peeler, but she beat him to it.

"I am so sorry. I am clumsy and did not mean to prick you with it."

He just raised one eyebrow, cleaned off the peeler and resumed his task at preparing the soup.

She opened the frig to pull out more vegetables.

He cleared his throat. She turned around and looked at him.

"It is my treat. Go do something else. It will be a little while."

She smiled at him went in the family room.

She took a empty syringe out of her bag and pushed it into her sister's torso. As soon as she was sure she had enough sample, she put it back in her bag.

Kathryn did not stir as she was in a deep sleep.

Phoebe stuck her head in the kitchen.

"I forgot. I have to go to let out our neighbor's dog. I will not be long."

He nodded and resumed his task at hand. "I'll leave the door cracked.

Fifteen minutes later, Phoebe was walking through the front door.

He called from the kitchen. "Is that you, Phoebe? Lunch should be ready in two minutes.

She yelled from the dining room. "I have to wash my hands. She injected her sister with another empty syringe, with a satisfied look on her face. "Now he will be a daddy and American Indians do not desert their own kind."


	30. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 31

Phoebe was blowing on her spoonful of soup trying to cool down the plomeek soup. Chakotay was just taking his first bite of soup and he closed his eyes in delight. "This tastes just as I knew it would!"

Phoebe gulped down her first spoonful and rewarded him with an ear-to-ear grin. "This is so good."

Chakotay did not say anything to her, but just smiled as he continued to eat his soup. From time to time, he would take a sip of his prune juice.

Phoebe was drinking canned milk. Both were afraid to say something, for fear it would be the wrong thing.

Chakotay knew Kathryn quite well. Nevertheless, he thought he had come to know her family better then he had ever thought he had a right to. He silently admitted that he wanted to see them happy. He had to use all his discipline to keep from staring at Phoebe. Sure, she was slight and almost as pretty as her sis was. He knew that no one was as beautiful or strong as Kathryn.

He almost choked on his soup when he realized that Phoebe was capable of deception. He was not fooled by her act in the kitchen. A vegetable peeler had not accidentally grazed him when Phoebe tripped. No, Kathryn was the better actor. He knew that seven years of the Delta Quadrant had fine-tuned that skill in his former commanding officer. As he ate his soup, he silently wondered what Phoebe was up too. He decided to test his theory. He took a mometary break from eating his soup and leaned back on the den sofa and coolly looked at her. Phoebe pretended to too be engrossed in her meal. But the Indian was a very good judge of reading people. One did not rise to a commander in the Maquis, without the ability to read people. When she finally looked at him, she jumped. She almost sloshed her soup on to the tray holding her lunch. He was still looking at her coolly.

"What?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You tell me."

"About what?"

He shook his head at her. "You jumped and almost spilled your soup. Is there something you want to talk about?"

She shook her head no.

He looked at her in disbelief.

She tried to drink the rest of her canned milk, but her hand shook excessively hard. Some of it sloshed onto her tray.

Chakotay drained the last of his prune juice.

"Shall I get anything else for you? "

She shook her head no.

"I will be right back. I am going to go to the bathroom and then get more juice."

She gave him a halfhearted smile.

Her heartbeat went back to normal as soon as he stepped out of the den.

She was so busy trying to maintain her act that she did not notice him return with her black bag and stuff it between the computer and the wall in the den.


	31. Chapter 32

Chakotay was standing by her side as she just given the orders to set a course for home

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chapter 32.

Sis gets busted…

Chakotay winked at Phoebe.

"I will be right back. I want to make sure that your sis is still in the land of the living."

When he came back he winked at her.

"Would you like some dessert?"

She gave him a dazzling smile. It was a very similar smile he had seen for years. It was not the same smile, but close enough that it made his heart skip a beat, enough that he dropped the contents of Phoebe's back bag over the back of the computer and the floor. Two empty syringes rolled into view, between the two of them. She looked at them and then back at him. There was fear and horror in her eyes.

He did not even bend down to pick them up. He just kicked them out from the middle of the pathway of the door den. He took a few steps closer to her and sneered at her.  
"Just scented salts huh?

He held up one of the bottles that had fallen out of the bag. There was no labeling, but one top was red, and the other was blue and white striped. He gently put the bottles on one of the tables, but out of her reach.

She took a deep breath and stood up as he quickly advanced on her…


	32. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home Ch 33

Chakotay advanced on Phoebe Janeway very fast. His face was very red and she could not hide her fear. She cringed and tried to go around him, but he was not so accommodating.

"What did you do?"

She had to look up to see his eyes. Like her sis, she too was short, but a few inches taller then Kathryn. She glared at him and crossed her arms.

He glared back "I wouldn't think that you would have any reason to hurt our own sister. "I have not forgotten that comment you made about bitch slapping me back to the planet that was my home before it was handed to the Cardassians."

She noticed that his fists were clenched. "What did you do to her?"

"Lower your voice, you are going to wake her up!

He instinctively looked towards the den door and Phoebe tried to make a break for it. But he blocked her. The look in his eyes was lethal. She could feel his breath on her face. It was hot, but not in a sexy way.

"I am not going to ask again!"

"I said lower your voice!" Phoebe crossed her arms and refused to back up, despite that his shoes were touching hers and he was literally breathing down her neck. She looked like she was going to spit nails at him.

"Or you'll what? All I have to do is scream. On second thought, why bother? Everyone knows you're her lap dog!" She sneered at him.

He gave her a feral look.

She smiled a nasty smile. "Seven years you loved her. It was always protocols out there. Well, not anymore! She doesn't have an excuse anymore, but you're still looking for those bread crumbs. Seska didn't want you either. Different quadrant, different babe, but it is the same story."

His heart tore. He did no think he could feel worse then he did at that moment. But he was the angry warrior that he had told Kathryn that he would be for her.

"I impregnated her with your DNA."

Chakotay gasped and put his hands over his mouth. "Oh my god! Tell me you didn't!"

Phoebe was shockedinto silence. "I was trying to help you!"

He took two steps back but she was frantic and tried to stop him from leaving.

"She is already pregnant."

"What!? No she is not. She would have told us!"

Chakotay was stammering and she had never seen or heard of him doing that and it frightened her. "She bought a chemical abortion pill. I know she did conceive, but she took the pill. The doc said that the initial pill could cause complications for the baby and her. I just made her take the second abortion pill. The label says that the second has to be taken 10 days later."

Phoebe was stunned. "You knew she was pregnant? He shook his head. He opened his mouth to object, but Phoebe was not having any of it. "The Doctor could have done something! That Doctor of yours has the medical knowledge of hundreds, maybe even thousands of different worlds. I bet that doesn't even count what he learned in the Delta Quadrant."

She could not be reasoned with and it was plain to see in her eyes. But he was so distracted that he did not see the door to the den open. Phoebe went to smack him and he held up his arm to block her. He crossed his arms to shield himself. Unfortunately, she tripped over his big feet and fell and hit the corner of the table. Kathryn opened the door just in time to see her stumble and go down. She was standing behind Chakotay and could see his arms were up in front of him.

She rushed past him ands catch her sis before she hit the floor. She checked her wrist and saw that she still had a pulse. But the look she gave Chakotay was ugly and there was no forgiveness in it.

"Get out!"

"I should call the Doctor."

She shook her head and her face turned two shades darker then her hair.

"Get out now while you still can! How could you? To my own sister!"

He shook his head. "I did not touch her."

But Kathryn had more then enough. "Don't come back. That means even to Earth!"

She turned back to her sister.

Chakotay tried again. "Kathryn…"

She propped her sis against the couch and made a call to the Doctor.

He tried last time. He pulled her arm to him, but she slapped his arm away. His fists were clenched.

"Oh don't you dare! You will never hit me and get away with it!"

She was too upset to see the haunted look in his eyes."

"I LOVE YOU!" He yelled.

She looked at him in disgust. "You don't know the first thing about love! I do not know what you did to her. I will find out. Or did you plan to punch me? You do not deserve me or anyone. Not even Seska. How could you contemplate hitting me?"

He shook his head. "If you really think I was going to punch you, then I WILL walk out of your life, forever.

"Finally!" She looked like she meant every word of it.

He picked up the content soft the black bag and left.

She turned her back to him.

He walked out of her house and did not look back.

Five minutes later, the Doctor walked through the front door.


	33. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chakotay prepares himself for his vision quest.

**Editor's note: Native American vision quests DO include no water or food for four days. However, diabetics have to be accommodated due to being diabetic.**

Chakotay walked out the door of Kathryn Janeway's front door and quite likely out of her life for good.

He closed his right hand into a fist and hit it against the palm of left hand. He was so distracted that he almost lost his footing as he was nearing the top of the mountain. In the distance, he thought he could make out a cave that was surrounded by a bunch of thick trees that seemed to reach for the sky.

"Damn! I cannot do this. It has been seven years. Enough is enough. I know that it is unnatural to force things that are not supposed to happen. I know that the universe will unfold as it should, but I need to know what my part in the universe will be." He knew that he needed to calm down, but walking the busy and noisy streets of San Francisco was not conducive to chilling out.

Three hours later, he found himself nearing a state park. For at least a mile, all he could see was Sequoia trees. They were huge in stature, and he could see many of their needles on the floor of the forest.. After a quick glance around, he realized he must have been in a place that was identical to where he had his first vision quest.

Nevertheless, here he was on Earth. His planet was given to the Cardassians as part of the treaty. He smiled to himself, as he had to admit that The Redwood National State Park was a very convincing copy of what his home world looked like.

He had a memory from a few years ago on Voyager. He recalled a talk he had with Kes. He had once innocently asked where would be the first place she would want to visit on Earth. About a week later, she had requested him to come to Holodeck 2. The scene that he had walked in was alien to him. He had to ask her where it was. She said she had spent the better part of a week doing research and compiling data to answer his question. The first place she had picked was the land of the giants, the Sequoia's of Redwood National Park. When he asked her why that place, she was not able to give him an answer. He smiled to her and promised that if they made it back to Earth, he would visit that national park.

He was climbing for several hours; it was the way of his tribe the Rubbertree people to take a journey on the spiritual road of life. He was not trying to reach a destination. He closed his eyes as he tried to clear his mind. He was distracted due to fatigue, lack of food and no water. He had started what he came for, a vision quest.

Simply, he was seeking a vision to connect to his future life with or without Janeway.

He knew that something in Janeway's life had to change, and he did not mean the fights they had been having. It was more profound. He knew that it had something to do with his child that she was carrying. The way of Starfleet was what she knew and what she had been raised on. Admiral Edward Janeway, her father, had been one of the most 

respected as well one of the most decorated officers of the twenty fourth century.

But Chakotay knew that life did not stay the same, it was not meant to. He knew that truth was easier for some to accept, and harder for others. Janeway had changed from their experience in the Delta Quadrant, they all had. Nevertheless, the journey she had to make was not meant to be as the captain or admiral of a starship. The experiences leading to her acceptance to and graduating from Starfleet was the right step of who she would become. The various posts she had held as science officer, as well her as her promotion to captain were not the pinnacle of her journey.

Everyone back in the Alpha Quadrant still talked about how she had done the impossible. She had brought everyone home. No one would debate that she was a rare and valuable officer. She would be remembered next to Kirk, Picard, and Spock. But the Indian knew in his heart that her greatest task had not yet been completed. He had once told her that he would be there for her, and would ease her burdens. Part of easing her burdens meant helping her realize that she was meant to accomplish. No one could live her life for her, but he could help point her it the right direction. That is what a friend did.

Once he reached the cave, he took a deep breath. He spent the better part of an hour exploring the cave, looking for the best part to sit and mediate. He finally decides that a view of the mountains from the mouth of the cave was the most conducive spot for his vision quest.

He laid out his sleeping bag, took a deep breath, removed his clothing, and replaced his pants with the Starfleet issue sweats. He knew he would be here for three more days. That meant three more days without food and water.


	34. Chapter 35

Disclaimer; I do not own Trek

Disclaimer; I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Phoebe was just coming to when Kathryn heard the doc call her name from the foyer of her house.

"I am in the den she shouted."

The doc came into the den and rushed by Phoebe's side and immediately started checking her vitals. Kathryn watched as the doc fussed over her sister. He looked back at her as he gave her sister something that would take care of the headache. Phoebe had just come too and blinked a few times as she took in the sight of the hologram and the admiral. She put a hand to her head and smiled at her friends.

"Hey sis, looks like you will be fine."

The doc winked at both sisters.

Phoebe opened her mouth to speak to her sister, but the doc held up a hand. Phoebe just nodded.

"So what exactly happened?" Phoebe refused to look at either of them.

"It was not your boyfriend's fault!"

The doc looked at the admiral who rolled her eyes in disgust.

Phoebe, who was finally able to look at her sister, had missed the exchange between the admiral and her doctor.

"Don't you defend him too! I am so tired of everyone defending the poor Chakotay. And he's not my boyfriend anymore! I am also getting tired of having to repeat that."

Phoebe shook her head and that earned a glare from her sister.

"Admiral Janeway, that's an order!"

Kathryn gave her sister a withering look. "You are going to have to do better then that. I do not take orders from you."

"I do not know who is more stubborn, you or your boyfriend?"

Kathryn was so sick of hearing his name. "I just said I am through with him. That name will not be spoken in this house."

"But…"

Kathryn gave both of them a meaningful glance. "This is still my house and in my house what I say goes. Is this understood?"

Phoebe and the doc both glared at her but kept silent.

Little sis looked at the doc. "Can I go take a walk? I need to calm down."

The doc nodded.

"I need to talk to your sister. But do not go too far."

Phoebe nodded and left

"So refresh for me one more time what happened. I thought you said on the comm unit that you said Chakotay hit Phoebe?"

Kathryn glared at him. "I saw it with my own two eyes. I came behind him and he had his arms in front of him and she stumbled and fell. I was sleeping and heard him yell at her."

The doc raised on eyebrow in disbelief. Several seconds of silence went by before he spoke.

"This does not sound like the Chakotay we know. Is there any chance that your sis made a pass at him?"

Kathryn gave him a withering look. "Please. Where have you been the last seven years? He is so in love with me that if I told him to go jump off a bridge, he would ask when!"

The doc was unsure what to say or do. He rubbed his forehead. "Kathryn, are you listening to what you just said? He has been your first officer for seven years. You know him better than that. And he deserves more respect."

She shook her head. "Of course you are going to defend him too. I so sick of the Chakotay fan club. It is quite nauseating!"

The doc looked at his friend, then down and then back to her. He opened his mouth to speak; she was having nothing of it. "Do not waste my time, doc. I have heard it all. The poor Chakotay's world was given to the Cardassians. Then it was how horrible I must be for not having a relationship with my first officer. Now we are back home, it's when are the two of you getting married? I really have had enough of him."

But the doctor also had a temper. "Please Kathryn. You do not deserve to have him."

She turned red. "Deserve? Do not bother talking to me of deserve. Do I deserve to have him forced on me? I did not get us back home to become prisoner of someone's feelings. He cannot let go."

The doc looked her in the eyes. "Are you so sure you are not talking about yourself?"  
She looked at him. "I have a right to live my own life. I did not promise him anything. I told him how it had to be back there."

The doc took her hand in his. "But we are not back in the Delta Quadrant." His voice was very soft. But in reality, he was having trouble controlling his temper at her.

"He deserves more loyalty from you, Kathryn. I know you want a family and a child. You both put your Maquis and Starfleet differences aside, to get the crew home. Are you so sure that the two of you have so many differences?'

She looked exasperated. "I know what you are getting at. I am grateful for what he did out there. I would not have been able to do it without the crew, but especially not without him. He knows that as does everyone else. We dated when we came back. Part of me wanted to have what I could finally have. Everyone expected us to get together. Even Starfleet Command wished us well at the debriefings. I got tired of the jokes and innuendos the admirals made about the command team. More then one person suggested that since we had done the impossible together that we were right for each other. He took it as affirmation. I wanted to give it a try. But at the same time, I wanted to see what else was out there. There was only Justin and he got killed. Mark moved on and married when he thought I was dead. Now I am back and…"

There was a good two minutes of silence that went by.

"And it is hard being Kathryn, and not Captain Janeway or even Admiral Janeway?"

She looked at the doc.

"What does this have to do with me?"

He shook his head. "Everything."

She snorted. "Good guess, but wrong prognosis. I am exactly where I want to be. I am an admiral at Starfleet Command. My dad would have been proud."

The doc looked at her sadly. "Kathryn, I am your doc and friend. I am proud of you as are the crew and Starfleet and the Federation. Your name will go down in history just like Kirk, Spock, Archer, Ambassasor Sarek…"

She snorted but smiled and then laughed. "I am not looking for anything. Starfleet is my life and I want a family that understands that."

The doc smirked. "Chakotay is Starfleet."

She shook her head. "He left and was forced to accept a commission because it was in the best interests of both of the crews out there. I want someone who embraces Starfleet totally. Not someone who is willing to play lip service to get me."

Kathryn, I do not even think I can reach you. That man…"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do not start at with me and that is an order."

He crossed his arms. "That will not work and you know that. I am a medical doc and not only that, I am your medical doctor.'

They glared at each other in silence for several minutes.

"I have a confession to make, Kathryn."

At that moment, Phoebe opened the door to the den.

She smiled at her sister and looked back at the doc, with a puzzled look on her face.

"You are pregnant, Admiral Janeway."

"No, I am not. I took the abortion pill and Chakotay came stuck the second in my mouth."

The doc frowned as he shook his head. "You do not understand. You ARE pregnant."

Kathryn did not say anything. She looked to her sister and then back at the doc.

She did not understand why they both had guilty looks on their faces. When she looked back at them again, they were watching her very closely.

"I took the pill as instructed and Chakotay and I followed the same directions for the second pill. I guess it did not work as it was supposed too?"

They did not say anything to her but exchanged glances and then looked back at her.

"So you guys knew the pill had not worked? Who knew? Who's plan was this to keep quiet?"

"It was my idea." They said it in unison. She saw the surprised look they exchanged with each other.


	35. Chapter 36

Disclaimer; I do not own Trek

Disclaimer; I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 36

Kathryn folded her arms together and glared first at her sister and then the doctor. "I want answers and I want them now." Her friends did a double take at each other and then looked at her.

"How can it be both your ideas? Who did Chakotay approach first a bout this?"

Both her doctor and her sis said. "You do not deserve a precious gift like him."

She looked like she was ready to spit nails. "My personal life is my own. I am only going to ask once more. Who came up with the idea not to tell me?"

"I did." They said it at the same time.

She rolled her eyes. "I am tired of hearing you in unison. I want the ringleader."

They both tried to answer at the same time.

"I switched the pills with sugar pills."

"I impregnated you."

She gave them a confused look. "I am so frustrated. One at a time, please."

Phoebe held up a hand to the doc. "I impregnated you."

Kathryn had a shocked expression on her face. She just blinked at her sister.

The doc shook his head. "That is not possible. You are already pregnant."

Phoebe's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs. Kathryn looked ready to hit someone.

"You both could not have gotten me pregnant and I the only one I have dated on Earth since returning was Chakotay. Please tell me it is his child at least?"

The doc and her sister nodded at the same time.

Kathryn's face turned bright red.. "I told you both not to reply at the same time. Does Chakotay know I am pregnant?"

Both looked at her with an uneasy look.

"I doubt it." The doc replied.

"I just found out right after he confronted me. I had just told him that I impregnated you."

The doc looked at Phoebe with a curious glance. "If you do not mind, what was the method?"

Phoebe put her hands over her eyes and turned around.

But Kathryn was not in the mood. She got up and turned her sister back towards the doc and her.

She refused to look at her.

"Doc, scan me again to see how long I have been pregnant."

He nodded and scanned her. He put down the medical tricorder. "You are fifteen days pregnant."

Kathryn did a double take. "You seem so sure of yourself. That means that the pills must have failed."

She held her face in her hands. "He made me take the second pill. He said that not taking the second one could cause complications for the baby and me later on."

The doc looked at her softly. "That is true."

She looked back at him. "So he knew that conception had occurred."

The doc nodded.

She started to cry. "He loved me for so long. Longer then I deserved. I know it must have killed him making me take that pill. I know he had the baby's and my best interests at stake."

She looked back at her sister. "It looks like the pills failed. You failed. But the good news is that I am pregnant. But I was horrible to him. I told him to never even come back to Earth!" She started to cry and shake.

"I switched the pills with sugar pills and I not tell anyone. You must remember that day when you caught me in your bathroom? I scanned you when you had your back turned. I did the switch less then two minutes before you walked into the bathroom."

Phoebe choked and looked at the doctor.

Kathryn was no longer shaking but still had tears coming down her face.

Her sister looked at her in agony.

"What happened between you and my former first office in the den, Phoebe? Why did he hit you?"

'Kathryn, I tried to explain. He found the syringes and the stuff and confronted me. He admitted that you were already pregnant. I called him a liar and went to hit him and tripped over his shoes. He held up his arms to shield himself from me. You misinterpreted his actions."

Kathryn's face turned white, then red, and then finally went back to her normal complexion. "I cannot believe this! Phoebe, you knew about Seska! He probably thinks I put you up to this!"

The doc raised an eyebrow at her sister. I know you were trying to be helpful as I was, but I would have thought that you would picked a different method, knowing how much Chakotay resented Seksa for what she tried to do.

Kathryn looked at both of them. They both hung their heads, in unison.

The doc looked at Kathryn. "I am sorry to have to deliver one piece of news to you."

She shook her head. "Don't I am in the mood to shoot the messenger."

"As a medical doctor, I have to tell you."

She nodded.

He shook his head. "Her trying to impregnate you could have complications."

Kathryn looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole. "Does the baby even have a chance?"

The doc exchanged looks with Phoebe and then looked back at the admiral. "It is too early to tell."

She looked so miserable. "I can hardly believe all this. The baby and Chakotay did not deserve any of this."

"I do not even know how to begin to say it. I am genuinely sorry for what I did." Her sis and doc said it at the same time…again.

The admiral snorted and looked at both of them as she wiped away the tears. "You both are not the only person who has been reckless." She gave them a sheepish look. She shook her head and moaned. "I do not even know how to begin to say all this to Chakotay. I do not deserve him. He left."

The doc and her sis both gave her a hug. "He has stood by your side so far."

"Your pregnancy will have to be closely monitored."

She looked at the doc in askance. "If complications occur, when would that most likely happen?"

The doc looked at her in hesitation. "I cannot know for sure. It is too early to tell right now."

She glared at both of them. "It would not be good for the baby to scream at the both of you. Hopefully you both realize that you went too far. This is the best example why I have to live my own life. I know you both could not have imagined the domino effect of what your so called help might cause. There is quite the possibility that the damage is irreversible. Your busybody actions could destroy three lives." She paused to glare at each of them for a moment. They looked genuinely sorry.

She looked at her sister. "I have not seen you for seven years and you are the only sister I have. Be thankful that you are not going to get disowned. You will not repeat the events of this day, or conversation to anyone, including my former crew or mother. But I suggest you stay away from me until I contact you. Please leave."

Phoebe nodded, burst into tears and left her house.

The admiral looked at the doctor. "I do not even know what to say to you, my old friend. You have the medical knowledge to know better to do what you did. But there is still a chance that the baby could be okay. I know you meant well by switching the pills. But you forgot the Hippocrates Oath. What about the part about doing no harm?"

The doc had the decency to have a look of sorrow on his face.

She took a deep breath. "I am happy and worried at the same time. I might have to terminate the baby. But I told him in no uncertain terms to get lost and not even return to Earth."

The doc squeezed her shoulder. "I bet he will come back, regardless if you are able to carry the baby to term or not."

She shook her head. "I accused him of hitting her. He said that if I really thought him capable of that, then he would walk out of my life."

The doctor got a worried look in his eyes. "What are you going to do?"

She cringed. "I am not going to contact him. I was horrible to him and words do not even explain how sorry I am."

The doc looked at her. "Give him a chance. He gave you chance after chance for more then seven years."

She shook her head. "I need you right now the most. Can I count you to be the doc you were on Voyager?"

He sat up straight. "Yes."

She smiled a sigh of relief. "I know he loves me. That will never change. But I do not want him to come back for just the baby. I do not even know if I can have the baby. I do not want to let him know I AM pregnant and then maybe lose the baby."

"What are you going to do?"

She shook her head. "You and I are going to request a leave of medical absence. I do not want to be found on Earth. I will need a doc and I need to wait until I know if I can carry have a normal pregnancy."

He looked at her. "I do not deserve a second chance. I will not fail you again and I will my best."

She patted him on the shoulder. "I know you will keep your promise. Do not be so hard on yourself. We would not be having this conversation if I had not bought the pills and if you had not switched the pills."

He smiled at her. "You are most kind."

She shrugged. "Let dispense with the effigy and focus on what is best for the baby."

He nodded.


	36. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Disclaimer: The line about stimulating the hypothalamus comes straight from Star Trek:Pathways, the book by Jeri Taylor.

Bina Walburn

Coming Home

**Notes: T**his** is** the chapter where he has the vision quest. Chapter 34 was just setting it up.

Note: Ms. Jeri Taylor is one of the **co-creators of Voyager**. I know that fandom tends to have Chakotay's animal spirit as a wolf. But in her book, it is a snake. Everyone is entitled to their own dream, but since she is one of the creator's of Voyager, I see her work as canon. I tried very hard to respect Native American beliefs, by not specifically saying what the animal was. It is generally accepted in those cultures that saying he animal is offensive to the animal guide. Janeway's spirit guide, a Tokay lizard, is mentioned due to him revealing it to her. His guide is not a bear. We know that cuz he corrected her.

I looked up Rubber Tree people and my research led me to believe he is of Mayan descent. We know from an interview, Robert Beltran, that he is Mexican Indian descent. Mr. Beltran also mentioned that Chakotay had at least one relative in Mexico. 

**Chakotay** was barely aware that he had crossed his legs and was sitting **in** the cave, with his back very relaxed. The contents of his medicine bundle were displayed in front of him. They included the blackbird's wing, the river stone and the akoonah. The Chah-mooz-ee could be seen on the top of the stone. A _CHAH__-mooz-ee_ is an ancient healing symbol of the Rubber Tree People, drawn on different natural objects as a blessing to the land. The symbol was often drawn on the ground during greetings as a sign of respect. Not all Indians welcomed the use of the akoonah in place of the psychoactive **herbs, but** the device still did its job. **It stimulated the neurons of the ****hypothalamus****, producing lucid REM state.**

He placed his palm on top of the akoonah and for several moments, mentally said his lover's name. He heard a faint, gentle rustle of tree needles being spread on the bed of the forest floor. The next thing he saw was the s

mall black eyes that looked at him with what seemed like infinite wisdom. The moment he made eye contact with that creature, his spirit guide, the forest surroundings' seemed to blur into a kaleidoscope of infinite colors.

"Chakotay, your eyes your spirit is troubled and your heart is weary."

He heard his guide speak that statement to his mind. It's voice very gentle, like a caress.

He nodded. "I do not know what to do about her."

He could have sworn he his guide's eyes widen for a half a second, but he could not be sure.

"You did not know what to do **with** Captain Janeway for seven years, but you do now."

Chakotay tried to hide his look of disbelief. "If I knew, I **wouldn't** be in this state."

The creature did not make a sound that would be discernable to any human ear, as it came closer. "Your heart is even heavier then it was then. Telling her how you feel did not solve anything on that planet."

**Chakotay's** eyes were moist but he tried to hide his sorrow.

The creature seemed to look right through him. "There is no shame in crying. Let yourself have this emotional release."

He shook his head. The creature lifted his head so that its ageless eyes were level with the human's. "There is no shame in crying. Even a Vulcan will cry for a brief period of time."

"I sometimes wish I had the calm of a Vulcan, like the one I served with."

"Then you would know that Tuvok would say that you are being illogical."

Chakotay could not suppress a smile out of fondness for his former chief of security. His guide went on.

"He would also say that control is admirable. But trying to change your nature, from being Human to Vulcan, is not healthy or warranted. Each being has its gifts."

**The Mayan gently sighed.** He rubbed his tattoo with his free hand for a moment. "Tuvok would also say that each being has its own weaknesses and strengths. She is my weakness."

The creature gave him a questioning look. "Is Admiral Janeway your weakness? Do you really believe that?"

Chakotay looked at his spirit guide in confusion. "She is the strongest woman I know. She got us home." There **were** several minutes of silence.

The being with the ageless eyes looked at him again. "You are evading that which you seek to understand."

Chakotay looked away and then back at the creature. He saw what looked like a very small baby with bronze hair, and skin coloring the same shade as his being held by the animal. The baby was naked, and very still, but its eyes were clearly focused on Chakotay. The older human instinctively reached out his arm to touch the baby's cheek. But his finger touched nothing. The baby only blinked and kept staring at the Indian.

"Why is that child here? Is the baby mine?"

"Focus, Chakotay, focus."

Chakotay blinked and said nothing for what seemed liked a few minutes, but was almost half a day. "The baby's eyes seem to hold Kathryn's very essence in her blue eyes. I can feel that the child she is pregnant is the key to a future."

He looked at the animal holding the baby. "My people would never abandon a child. I have for so long wanted a child, especially with her. This is not new. I did not come here to tell you or myself that I want to have a family with her. Everyone from Voyager and their families back know that."

The creature shifted the baby from one part of its body to another part. Chakotay got a soft look on his face as he watched the child coo in contentment. The creature brought is eyes back to **him**. You are correct; they all know how you feel about her."

The former Maquis officer sighed again and once again it felt so good. "Starfleet has ships that allow families. But it is not easy to raise families on a starship."

The creature looked at the baby and then back to the Human.

Chakotay opened his mouth." But Naomi spent the first several years of her life on a starship. She was loved and nurtured. She has adapted well to Earth and to having a father."

His guide seemed to smile, despite not physically being able to. "She has done well. Sam and Naomi were fortunate to be in such a loving and accepting environment on Voyager. Miral is loved. The Borg children, as well as all the children from your journey will eventually bring great gifts to what you call a Federation."

The former Starfleet officer hesitated. "What will my child bring?"

The creature seemed to be amused as it spoke. "You know I cannot tell you that."

The former first officer sighed. "Why is that baby here? I can sense that baby represents something more then just the family Kathryn has always wanted. Am I right?"

The creature began gently stroking the child's hair with its nose. The baby smiled and cooed.

Sudden clarity dawned on the big Human. "Many say that Kathryn was born to command. That it was only a matter of time before she got command."

The creature nodded very slowly. "She is loved and respected by many in your Federation."

The former half of the Voyager command team felt like he was about to have **an** epiphany but it was just out of his reach.

"We love her."

The animal seemed to smile. "Yes. The crew of Voyager loves and would do anything for her. The feeling of family is mutual and very strong."

"I want to go back to that thing you said about the feeling of family being very strong."

The creature just sat there, looked at the baby and then back at him. "What about it?"

"Why did you say the obvious?" The creature looked amused. "You tell me. Let us talk more of the Admiral, her traits."

"Why else could I say that has not already been said?"

Both were silent as Chakotay thought he felt a breeze.

"She was born to be a mother."

The creature nodded. "She is very nurturing. That was very obvious time and again on Voyager."

Chakotay felt he was on to something. "But she was born to be a leader. It is not easy being a commander and a mother. How can she do both?"

His counselor looked at him intensely. "You say many in your Federation say she has done a miracle. She brought the ship home. She traveled 70,000 light years in seven years. The last time we spoke, you said you thought she would accomplish the impossible, the journey home. You said that she would probably prove that the stars are not **an** obstacle for her. Those were the last words you spoke to me in your last vision quest. Do you remember?"

He nodded and used his free hand to rub his tattoo. "She was a mother to many on Voyager**,** and she was a starship captain and got us home. I see no reason why she cannot be a mother to many. She, we all literally went where no one has gone before, the Delta Quadrant." Chakotay got a worried look on her face. "But I would hate to see her give up Starfleet. She has accomplished so much."

The creature just looked at him. "You just said that she was a mother to many on Voyager**,** she was a starship captain**,** and got you home."

Chakotay had his insight and he felt almost heady. "Yes" He gave one quick glance to the baby before he looked at his guide. "Thank you so very much for your guidance. He smiled and laughed. He stood up to leave. "The hard part will be helping her realize all of this."

The creature switched the sleeping child back to the first part of his body had been holding her. "You were there to help her get the crew home. **This** is a different path, but still a journey."

Chakotay nodded. He turned back to look at his guide, but it, as a well as the baby were gone.

_He thought to him; "The hard part will be letting her know what her next journey will be. Maybe she can still stay in Starfleet and accomplish her destiny. I realized years ago that getting home was not going to be her greatest __**achievement, but**__ I never knew how to even begin to impress that upon her. But if she will let me as she did on Voyager, I will lessen her burdens. I need to go find her._


	37. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Trek

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Chakotay felt very peaceful on the shuttle ride back to San Francisco . He had a bath, shaved, and had eaten. He felt more confident for the first time in a long time, but he still was not sure that it would bring peace to Admiral Janeway. His spirit guide had helped him to realize that their baby would be the catalyst for what she was meant to accomplish.

Everyone else was under the impression (a mistaken one) that she had already finished the greatest achievement for her lifetime. He snorted at that thought. Part of him felt that very common agreement about her was not doing her justice. Another part of him thought that it was insulting her intelligence.

He knew that he would always love her and their baby of course. His guide had also shown him that what was important was that he stood by her and faith in destiny, just as he had done on Voyager. He hoped with all his heart that they got married and that she would want to have a family with him.

But everyone had assumed that bringing Voyager home would be her biggest contribution to the Federation and Starfleet. Well, they were wrong about that too. He imagined the smug look on his face following that thought. They were about to realize that they had underestimated her. If they could be so mistaken over something like that about her, so could he. He hoped that he had the strength to do the right thing. Together or alone, he knew his duty would be to always lessen her burdens. He had done that for seven years and was not about to fail her after all these years.

He was lost in thought when he rang her doorbell. By the third ring, his head was clear.

He had to admit he was curious and part of him forced himself to take a deep breath.

He got no answer but thought better of entering her codes to get inside her house. He tried them and to his great surprise, they still worked. He let himself in and called her name. When he still got no response from the knock on her bedroom and then bathroom door, his heart skipped another beat. He came back down the steps and sat down on the family room sofa.

The chemistry between them was obvious as day and unquestionable. Yet, their first non Starfleet related conversation was one that had caught him off guard. He had just begun to realize that day how fortunate Starfleet was to have an officer like her…


	38. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Trek

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 39

Note: This chapter is a conversation that Chakotay remembers her telling him years ago right after they got stranded. They had an immediate chemistry. Nevertheless, this conversation is the first stage of what will be a legendary friendship. As he is sitting on her couch, he remembers a fateful conversation that.

Captain Janeway had just finished reading the last of many pads on her desk in the ready room when she heard a buzz.

"Come in."

She looked up to see the blonde, boyish face of Tom Paris. She smiled at him as she gestured for him to take a seat on the couch.

He smiled but she could see the hesitation in his eyes. "Is this about your father?"

He shook his head. At her repeated gesture to sit down, he finally sat. She offered him something to drink as she poured herself another cup of coffee.

"Captain, how many cups is that?"

She laughed. "If I have anymore, I will have enough caffeine in me to get us home by tomorrow."

He could not help but laugh at that comment. They both shared a belly laugh and it felt good. It was true. Laughter really was the best medicine. Finally the serious look came back in his eyes.

There was several more minutes of silence. She gave him a brief pat on the back for encouragement.

He took a deep breath. "This is official but also unofficial business."

She nodded as she took another sip of coffee.

He turned to her and looked into her eyes. She mirrored him.

"What would you do if you know that a crew member is in much pain and you wanted to help?"

She put down her coffee cup and looked at him, full of concern.

"I realize we are very far away from Federation space, and…"

He shook his head. "I could be wrong but I do not think that this crewmember's pain is so much about us being lost in space."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Tom, your actions about this ship have been honorable and we would not stand a chance of getting home without you piloting skills. I am grateful to have you aboard. You know that right?"

He nodded and she could see the gratitude his eyes. "It is not about me, Captain."

"I want to help. Am I allowed to know his or her name? Or am I supposed to just listen?"

He got up and started to pace. "It is regarding a certain member on this ship, a certain Indian."

She stood up and then sat down.

He finally stopped pacing and turned towards her. He sat back down on the couch. "Everyone knows that there is no love between Commander Chakotay and me, but I am not heartless, Captain."

She nodded. He could see the questioning look in her eyes.

"We will need him at his best for our journey."

She smiled. She could see that he was uncomfortable and that he was trying his best. "Go on."

He took a deep breath. "I know I saved his life and he is responsible for my safety, but he is still a member of this crew."

She patted his back briefly, to encourage him.

"He is in pain and I request that you go talk to him."

She had a surprised look on her face. "I do not know what to say to him. Can you give me something to work with so I know what to say to ease his pain?"

Tom blinked twice rapidly. He shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know for certain."

"Is this about his home world being given to the Cardassians and his father and tribe being killed by the Cardassians?"

Tom exhaled a deep breath. "I'm not certain, but my gut instinct is to say no."

There was exactly two minutes of silence between them. Then she spoke. "Thank you Tom, for bringing this to my attention."

He nodded. 'Please don't say my name.

She nodded. "I know that the treaty was hard on him. I am aware that he is a complex man. I will talk to him.

Tom looked away and then back at her. "May I be excused?"

She nodded and sat back against the sofa as she tried to form a method to approach her first officer.


	39. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming HomeCh40

He had just finished the schedule rosters for the next month when he heard the usual buzzing sound for permission to enter. He let it buzz again for a few more times. He didn't know who it could be, and he didn't care. He doubted it was B'Elanna, as she had just left.. He took a deep breath.

"Enter."

It was the Captain. He immediately stood at attention as soon as he saw her.

"At ease, Commander Chakotay."

He nodded and stood standing. He gestured for her to sit on the sofa, but she shook her head. He approached the replicator and requested a cup of chai, tea from India . He gave her a questioning look. She shook her head, and he sat back down on the sofa.

"What can I do for you Captain?" He started to hand the pad with the finished duty roster to her. "This was not due till Wednesday, but I thought it might be best to get it done."

She smiled as she sat down on the sofa. She took the pad but then laid it back on the coffee table and turned to look him in the eyes.

He mirrored her with his eyes. "This is my off duty time, but ship's business comes first." Several seconds of silence went by before she looked at him. When finally he saw she was not going to speak, he did. "Permission to speak freely?"

She looked at him with a sad smile. "Yes, and I hope you do not feel you have ask that."

He gave her a curt nod. "Captain, we will get them home and you can count on me too. I know we are far from home, but we will make it. Our chances are even better with Neelix as our guide.."

Her smile got a bigger but still she said nothing.

More silence went by. He took a deep breath. "May I assume that this is unofficial business, Captain?"

She looked him in the eyes and replied; "Yes."

More silence. "Captain?"

She scooted over just a few inches closer, but was still respectful.

"I do not know how to begin."

He nodded encouragement to her.

"I know it life has not been exactly easy for you, Chakotay."

He put down his cup of tea and looked at her. She smiled at him and her hand trembled slightly. He instinctively went to reach out for her but quickly retracted his hand. "I am sorry."

She shook her head. "No, don't be. I appreciate the gesture."

He smiled and she smiled back.

Two more minutes went by she stared right past him and she finally looked at the coffee table. She did the double take and then looked at him sheepishly. She blushed and looked at him.

More silence went by. She looked uncomfortable. She turned away and was raising her hands to cover her face, when he again instinctively reached out his hands. She moved closer without thinking and let him gently take her hands in his for just a moment.

She gave his hands a brief squeeze and then folder her hands in her lap. "I was the one to come here to offer comfort."

He got quiet but just looked at her. "What for, if you do not mind me asking?"

A pregnant pause went by. "I have not been in your situation and I hope not to be arrogant in thinking I can know what you went through."

He started to stiffen and then saw the caring look on her face and fractionally relaxed. "What is this about?"

She looked at him. "I am sorry for that you got betrayed by a member of your crew."

He sighed. "I assume you are not referring to Tuvok or Tom."

She looked at him, softly. "You know who I am referring to."

His heart skipped a beat. "Seska.. I should have seen her coming."

She shook her head. "How? None of us could us seen her. She was a very good actor."

He nodded. "Maybe I should have an affair with a Borg next time. At least they are upfront with their intentions."

She had to laugh at that. Well, we are in their quadrant. I'm sure that can be arranged."

He ran his hands through his hair. "I might as well, given the luck I have with women."

She shook her head. "Seska was not what anyone thought she was. She tricked everyone."

He snorted. "She got me the best of all. Everything was a lie, everything."

She looked at him with concern. He averted his eyes. "Please, I do not want your pity."

She laid an arm on his arm and she looked at him. He looked down and then at her. She went to remove her arm but he but his other arm on top pf her arm and she smiled. "It is not pity, but concern."

"Did someone put you up to this?"

"I noticed that something seemed to be killing you. I was not sure."

"Like I said, it was all lies."

She shook her head. "The way you felt was not."

He snorted. "I want to forget that part."

"Don't. It is part of what makes us Human."

'The time we had together were all lies."

She smiled at him sadly. "I am sorry that the time you had together was based on a lie. She had no right to use your affections the way she did."

He sounded choked up. "They were not even real memories."

She squeezed his hand and did not let for a moment. "They were memories, or should have been. She took so much from you."

He looked at her closely as he tried to hide the tears forming in his eyes. "I am sorry."

She smiled at him. "It is okay. I would have cried too."

He gripped her hands in his and squeezed very tightly as he looked up for permission.

He looked at her left ear as he spoke. "I did not think that anyone besides B'Elanna who has known me for a long time and maybe a few of the former Maquis would care."

She smiled back. "I can't feel your raw pain of her absolute betrayal, what you went through but I want you to know that my door is always open. But I am afraid you need to let up on my hands. They're turning red."

He smiled sheepishly and let go. She went to wipe away his lone tear, but he put up a hand. "Please."

She nodded. A few moments of silence went by.

"I need some time to be alone, please."

She nodded and got up to leave.

Before the doors opened he said something. "Thank you. And you can always come to me too."

She turned around and gave him a dazzling smile right before she left.

He sat back on the couch after for the door closed and sat sipping the rest of his tea. But his eyes lingered on the spot on the sofa where she had sat for just a moment.


	40. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.**_

_**Bina W.**_

_**Coming Home **_

_**Chapter 41**_

_**Another flashback for our favorite Native American Indian:**_

_**C**__hakotay was just setting the cup of chai on her coffee table in the family room. He was feeling frustrated. It was like he could not turn off his mind. After a vision quest, he usually was __calmer__ then usual. __He__ was contemplating the words that __he'd__ shared with his animal guide_**.**

_He knew that he had the strength to tell her the truth_**. The CONSISTENT**_ command of a starship, with the rank of captain or admiral was not in her future. There some admirals that were not always playing marriage to a desk and did go out in space for assignments. He had a very good friend who was an admiral who was commander of Star base 259. But she wouldn't be chained to a desk position at Starfleet on Earth either. He chuckled for a second with relief that her talents would not be wasted in that manner also. He knew that he needed a way to gently, but FIRMLY show her what her future had for her. _

_His dad once something about giving advice was a gift. He nodded his head agreement. Once given, a gift was meant to be used or tossed away in the manner that the recipient desired. Thanks to Admiral Janeway, many people had been given a second chance. This meant Tom, B'Elanna and the rest of the Maquis, as well as Seven of Nine. The seven years had given them plenty of time to grow, mature and realize their gifts. Many of the former crew members during that time had realized gifts that they had not known before the journey. As he was sipping his tea, he had a __recalled a__ conversation from __a few__ years __ago__ about time…_

_Another flashback for Chakotay…_

_"We finally make a connection with home and then it's ripped away from us. We manage to make another enemy who's going to try and hunt us down and destroy us and, on top of that…" He trailed off, feeling his nerves increase as they approached the subject that had plagued him all day. He had tried to fathom how any man who loved Kathryn could move on, and failed. It wasn't the lustful notions of loyalty that gave him that conclusion, but a certainty that if she was lost to him then he could not bring himself to offer the same intensity of love to another woman. He would be cheating his next lover and himself by pretending he could._

_"It's all right, you can say it," she lifted her head, meeting his eyes with her own gaze. The hurt was still there, but it was fading as logic and rationality soothed away the disturbance of her emotions. "On top of all that, I got a 'dear John' letter."_

_Her smile was self-depreciating as she turned to stare into the depths of her cup as she spoke her confession. "It wasn't really a surprise. I guess I didn't really expect him to wait for me, considering the circumstances. It made me realize I was using him as a safety net, you know? As a way to stop becoming involved with someone else."_

_She looked up at him for confirmation, and he felt something catch in his chest. It was a painful rush of emotion that he daren't betray. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Was she admitting that now, without Mark, there was a chance for them to begin a relationship?_

_"You don't have that safety net anymore." His words felt dry on his lips and he forced his feelings aside. Logic might not always be the key, but he had to see what was in front of him without the haze of fear or promise._

_"That's right" Her lips twisted in something akin to pain, and Chakotay felt his happiness fade. She was depriving herself; he could see it. As soon as one barrier was pushed aside another grew in its place. "Then again my life is far from uneventful here in the Delta Quadrant."_

_ He smiled faintly at the truth of her words, waiting for her to continue. _

_"It's not like I would have had a chance to pursue a relationship, even if I had realized I was alone."_

_"You're hardly alone," Chakotay pointed out, wondering how she could ever feel that way. Only Kathryn could feel isolated on a ship with more than one hundred other people on board. He hesitated for a moment, trying to find the courage to voice the words on his tongue. "To my way of thinking there's still plenty of time."_

**C**hakotay's teacup fell out of his hands and made a loud crashing sound as it shattered on her table. He barely noticed it. He took a deep breath. He now knew how to approach the conversation that destiny had meant for him to have with her. He would approach her and tell her that time was a gift for her. The journey that should have taken 70,000 light years at the fastest warp did not happen for a reason. It took seven years, so that she, Admiral Janeway could give the gifts of time, as well as life to eventually thousands of people in the Alpha Quadrant. He had to resist the impulse to smack himself in the head with his palm. He knew that there was a reason why they had missed the horrible Dominion War. He should have had the faith to realize years ago why he had been so frantic to have a child with her. It was to more profound then the love he would always have for her. Their child was a catalyst for him to realize her destiny. But he also recognized that it was up to him to deliver the crucial words to her.

He took another deep breath and smiled to himself as he realized that he was up for one big fight. They had beaten the Borg, the Kazon, and the Q Continuum. That was not even scratching the surface of the iceberg. Beating the Borg and beating Kathryn Janeway at her own game were two very different things. Boy was she in for a surprise, or two. Actually, it was more like three surprises.


	41. Chapter 42

A Vision Quest for Janeway

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Ch 42

Note: Based on my research, it is considered offensive to the Native American cultures to name your spirit guide. Fandom has Chakotay's guide as a wolf. Pathways, a book by co-creator of Voyager, Jeri Taylor, have his guide as a snake. Since she is a co-creator, I consider her canon. In the one of the episodes, we see Chakotay reveal KJ'S guide as a Tokay Lizard. We know that the first officer's guide is NOT a wolf, due to him correcting her.

A Vision Quest for Janeway.

Janeway was quite convinced that she had lost Chakotay for good. She didn't know how to even begin to know how to tell him that her sister had the idea to impregnate her, with their DNA. Both officers were well aware of the havoc that Seska had caused their ship and crew in the Delta Quadrant. She had shed a tear in front of Chakotay years ago over Seska's betrayal. She knew that he had not forgotten her attempt to comfort him all those years ago, at the first of Seska's many betrayals. That was when their crews were newly combined.

She wanted was grateful that the doctor had switched those pills, both pills with sugar pills, but she felt that she did not deserve him anymore. She had been so selfish and afraid. She had no reason to be afraid for them. She had beaten the Borg, with some help… and many cups of coffee. She could not even bring a smile to her eyes this time. She knew that her pregnancy had to be monitored even closer then usual, thanks to her sister's not so brilliant scheming!

She thought that if she couldn't trust herself to be with him, then what reason did he have to trust her. She was just tired. She did not want to be responsible for anyone. She had so many obligations for years, and now she just wanted peace! She knew it was time for another house call from the doctor. She tried to smile for him as his face appeared on her comm. screen but failed. She was falling asleep until something he said brought her back to reality.

"No one can seem to find Chakotay. He has been gone for days, but records have not revealed him leaving the planet. So he is still here..."

She nodded. "Maybe he is on a vision quest."

The doc shrugged his shoulders as he spoke. "He has been gone for days and you have been trying his patience more then usual lately. It certainly is possible."

A pregnant pause went by. "I probably should have had one as soon as we got back home, but I'm pregnant now, is it still going to be possible? I can't wait nine months."

The doc furrowed his eye brows. "I will gather the necessary supplements and be right over."

She nodded and reached out to terminate the connection.

Twenty five minutes later the doc was busying explaining the supplements she had to take while on the quest. "You also have to drink plenty of water."

She hesitated. "One is not supposed to have food or water during the quest, but exceptions are made of course."

The doc gave her a withering look. "Being pregnant is most certainly an exception."

She snorted, "Of course."

He repeated his tirade about the nutritional supplements she would be talking due to being pregnant. He put several bottles of water on the table in front of her couch in the family room. The pills he put next to her, along with a comm. Badge.

"I have always wanted a family but right now, I don't want to be responsible for anyone else."

He nodded. "I can understand what you are going through. You deserve to have time to yourself to rediscover yourself, especially after our journey."

She would not look at him.

He noticed and came closer. "What is it, Admiral?"

"I am not sure about the baby." When she finally had the courage to look at him, he had a shocked look in her eyes.

"Surely, you are just feeling lost right now."

She looked like a statue. "You did say that it was too early too know if my sister's actions could do damage to the baby or me."

He nodded. "Yes, but that is not a reason to terminate the baby on what if."

"I am scared doctor, and she did not help. This is not the right time for me to be having the baby."

He folded his arms. He looked furious. "If you do not mind me asking, when is the right time? You are not getting any younger."

She wanted to slap him. "How dare you!"

The doc looked at her in disbelief. "How dare I? How about how dare you? You have been given a second chance for a family thanks to me switching those pills. Maybe Phoebe was right. You do not deserve him."

She looked stunned, at a loss for words. She was not used to being addressed in that manner. "Get out."

He picked up his black bag and looked over his shoulder as he left. "At least go on the vision quest before you do anything dumb and actually giving Chakotay a reason to hate you."

She nodded and watched as he walked through the front door. She sat on the couch, her medicine bundle in front of her. At little while later, she placed her hand on the akoonah and started to repeat the ritual words like he had taught her and closed her eyes. The first thing she noticed was that she seemed to walking in a desert. Then she noticed was that her hair was partially covering her eyesight. Her hair was down to the middle of her back.

"Why is my hair longer in my quests?"

She heard a reply to the side of her, maybe three meters away. "Because you wish it to be so. This is your quest, Kathryn Janeway's quest."

She shook her head. "Don't you mean Admiral Janeway's quest?"

The animal looked at her and stuck out its tongue at the same time. "No, I mean Kathryn Janeway's quest."

She looked at him as if he was a moron. "Kathryn and the Admiral are the same, me."

The animal showed the full length of his tongue to her again. "Fine, whatever, it's your journey."

She gave him an exasperated look. "What are you doing here? This is my quest, and you are not my animal guide."

The animal appeared to be sneering at her but she knew that he was not physically capable of such an expression.

"Where is my guide?" She looked around. She saw the animal stick out his tongue at her again. 'Did you eat my spirit guide?"

Th animal put his tongue back in its mouth. "I do not know, maybe, maybe not."

She glared at him. "You are contrary!"

The guide smirked at her. "Since you are the mother, maybe you should name that baby that. It might be a good name."

"Are you Chakotay's guide?"

"Yes. You're not so swift are you?"

She glared at his guide. "I want my guide." The animal seemed to laugh at her.

"I am not going to repeat myself."

The animal took off at a trot. He looked over its shoulder after a few seconds and looked at her. "Are you coming?"

"Where are we going? Are you taking me to my guide?"

Chakotay's guide rolled its black eyes at him. "If I did not know better, then I would wonder how you beat the Borg. You must have done it with help from Chakotay and a few dozen cups of coffee."

The animal resumed its pace and she tagged along. She stopped for a moment to survey the seemingly desolate landscape. The animal turned around in time to see her frown.

"What why is this almost lifeless?"

The animal's black eyes seemed to glow as it looked at her. "This is your vision quest. It's this way due to you liking it this way."

Kathryn looked confused. "There is nothing inviting about this place. It looks so inhospitable."

The animal did not reply but resumed its pace. She scrambled to keep up. It seemed she had been walking for days. She started to pant.

She and her guide both stopped as she drained half a bottle of water and popped a few pills in her mouth. She looked at his guide and smiled. "I feel refreshed and almost new."

"Not for long." He briefly stretched his neck.

She stopped right behind him and looked to see what he was seeing. It was a mirror image of him, only smaller; what appeared to be a baby of his kind.

Her eyes got soft as she looked from the baby to its mother and then back to her former first officer's guide. She reached out a hand so the baby could sniff her. Its mom had another idea. The mother of the animal lunged at her she jumped back several feet. Chakotay's guide spoke.

"That might not be the best idea."

She looked devastated. She turned to his guide. "I was not going to hurt it."

The animal stuck out its tongue for a moment. "The mother did not know your intentions. Both looked at her arm that had teeth marks in it. The mother animal had bit her.

She looked at Chakotay's guide. Its eyes stopped glowing.

"You had better have that doc look at that, especially since you're pregnant."

She looked at her arm and then back Chakotay's guide. She saw a tiny brown baby with bronze hair sitting on top of his guide. The child looked at Janeway and cooed as the former first officer's guide rubbed its nose with the child's nose.

When she opened her eyes, the doc was peering at her.

"The animal bit me."

The doc gave her a surprised look as he was treating the wound. "Your spirit guide bit you? Why?"

She gave him a panicked look. "It was not my guide, it was his."

The doc did a double take at her as he was cleaning the wound. "It was your vision quest, not his. What happened to your guide?"

"The baby..,."

He winked at her. "Where was your guide?"

"I do not know. Maybe his guide ate mine. His guide was being contrary. Doctor, is the baby okay?"

He smiled at her calling Chakotay's guide contrary. He got a puzzled as he finished with the bandage and scanned her with the tricorder. "You and the baby will be fine. There is no poison. I have even better news. It appears that your sister's actions will not harm the baby. She transplanted just genetic material, not an embryo. You are fortunate."


	42. Chapter 43

Sam Wildman was strolling downtown San Francisco with her Ktarian husband, Greskrendtrek and their child, Naomi

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 43

Sam Wildman was strolling downtown San Francisco with her Ktarian husband, Greskrendtrek and their child, Naomi. She was trying not to stare at her husband in disbelief. They were back together! Not only were they back together, but they were a family…finally. She quickly looked away from him as he stole a look at her. This exchangewent on a few more times as Naomi was nearly shouting in excitement. They were on the main street of downtown San Francisco. Naomi had spent the first several years of her life on Voyager. She had seen things and places that all but about 150 people could dream off.

"It was a voyage of a lifetime." She whispered those words to her husband. He nodded and gave her and Naomi a playfully pinch at the same time. It caught the child off guard. She screamed in delight and stopped her childish chatter and turned around to look at her mother. She winked at her mother a fraction of a second before launching herself in her mother's strong arms. She looked at her husband as he laughed. It was not jus a laugh; it was a hearty good belly laugh, from his soul. It was contagious too. Before long, all three were laughing and holding their sides in pain; when the family had finally got a grip on their emotions, they just stared at each other for a good two minutes.

Greskrendtrek finally put down his daughter and looked at Sam with affection. His musings were interupted by Naomi. "So Mummy and Greskrendtrek, where are we going to live now that he's not assigned on Deep Space Nine anymore? The slight towards her father did not go unnoticed by either parent. The child had spent over a good portion of her childhood in the Delta Quadrant, without her father. Both adults stared at each other uncomfortably. The pain in the Ktarian's eyes were palpable the differences between the Romulans and the Klingons. Sam knelt down so that she was eye level with her daughter. They were in public, but at the moment she did not care. She gently took a hold of Naomi's shoulder in her hands. She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice as she made eye contact. "Sweetie, we have talked about this before. He's your daddy and he loves you very much and…"

But Naomi did not giver her chance to finish her sentence. Naomi threw down the cotton candy on a stick onto the sidewalk and screamed at the top of her lungs. She turned towards her dad and yelled.

"I don't why you came back. You messed up everything! I hate you! I wish you would go back to DS9!" With that she turned and sobbed as she hung onto her mother. Greskrendtrek had to resist covering his eyes with hands as he looked at the family that he had been separated from for seven years. Her temper tantrums had not stopped and had in fact increased since coming back to the Alpha Quadrant.

Naomi was so busy crying that she failed to hear her father whisper into her mother's ear. "Maybe she needs more time. Maybe we should spend some time with Admiral Janeway?"

Sam looked up at and saw the pain and desperation in her husband's eyes and nodded. It had been hard for everyone to adjust to the changes that coming home had brought. Earth, heck, the Federation was not the same as SAM had remembered it. The war with the Dominion had left too many reminders for everyone. For many members of the Voyager crew, it had added to the difficulties of adjusting after so many years away. Greskrendtrek had been posted to DS9 for the last seven years and the strain of the war had taken its toll on him, just like every other person and race that had been in the Alpha Quadrant for the last seven years. The Federation, along with its allies had finally made peace with the Founders. But he had yet to make any peace with his young child. His relationship with Sam was stronger then ever. But Naomi had rebuffed her parents every attempt to be a family. All she wanted was to be reunited with the Voyager crew. Both parents were at their wits end.


	43. Chapter 44

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home Ch44

**Notes: **

Kira Nerys was the Bajoran first officer (and Bajoran liaison to Starfleet) during the tenure of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Greskrendtrek had just walked into the apartment that he and his family had been renting since his wife and daughter had returned from the Delta Quadrant. He was reminiscing about his time on Deep Space Nine where had been posted during the time that his family had been in the Delta Quadrant. He had left his posting three weeks before he was supposed to. He was supposed to be on the Bajoran space station for three weeks after Voyager returned. The Dominion war was over but damage it had done would be visible for decades to come. But Kira has ordered him to return to Voyager early, to meet the famous Voyager crew, which included his family. He forced himself to vehemently object, despite it taking all his heart to do it, but he was grateful at the same time. He knew he would have to balance a career and fatherhood. It was a fact he totally embraced.

He was coming out of the kitchen with a tray full of snacks for Sam and Naomi when he heard the comm. unit whistle at him. He handed the tray to Naomi and ran into the den. The face of Kira Nerys appeared on his screen.

"Hello, Greskrendtrek, I had a minute and just wanted to see how your family and you were." He smiled a wide smile.

There was an awkward pause as they stared at each other. It was the Ktarian who broke the silence. He looked at Kira and his eyes were full of sorrow. "I miss the Captain also."

Kira nodded, and he could see her struggle not to cry. But a lone tear slid down her cheek. "I could never hope to replace him."

Gres looked at her. "I am here whenever you need to talk. You have not met my daughter and wife. Maybe you can get a vacation. It has been a while since you have been to Earth. "

She laughed out loud. "A vacation?" I should look up that word! I have no time!" They looked at each other and laughed.

"So how is your celebrity family adjusting?"

He shook his head. "You are kind. But Naomi is having trouble adjusting."

She smiled a kind smile. "Well she was part of the Voyager family. It has been a big change for everyone."

He looked back at her and sighed.

Kira leaned forward slightly. "Your wife's people have a saying. It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all."

He nodded. "How is Odo?"

She smiled a wistful smile. He is doing well. We keep in contact. His people are benefiting and are healing with him in the link."

Gres got a soft look. "You know he had to heal his people."

She looked away and back at him. "He did the right thing, the only option he had, but it still hurts that he left."

Gres looked at her softly. "He still loves you."

Gres was not sure what to say. "Odo did not leave for another woman." He mentally wanted to kick himself. The expression his face clearly said that.

Kira laughed again. "I am fortunate and better off for the short time we had together, both as my friend, security chief and my lover." She looked like she wanted to change the conversation. The auburn Bajoran commander looked at him with hesitation. "You know you were one of the more fortunate ones. Many of the Voyager crew came back to find ones remarried or some dead, or without homes. The wise appreciate the gifts they are given. But still…" Another tear went down her cheek. She looked embarrassed.

Gres thought the best things was to keep it cool. "That must have been a wise person. But it is harder said then done. And you are right. I AM one of the more lucky ones. Not only did I get my wife back, but I am a dad. I love my wife and daughter. But I must honestly say that I would not want the seven years that Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant to change. Well, it would be better if there were no causalities. But sometimes what life throws at us turns out to be a gift and not a burden or a curse. Sometimes it takes wisdom to see a gift."

She nodded and this time there was a hint of a smile. "I know that Sam and Naomi stranded with Janeway, Chakotay and the rest of the crew was gifts. The Federation is fortunate to have people like Chakotay and especially Admiral Janeway in your Starfleet."

He looked at her before he spoke. "I could say the same about Sisko and the rest of the people on Deep Space Nine." He got a playful look to his eyes. "I wonder how Sisko likes being a god and walking with the prophets now."

Kira could not help but snort. She looked in another direction, help up her hand to someone who he could not see and then back at him. "I am glad we are able to keep in touch. I would love to come and visit, and meet your family when I have time. I'm not sure when that will be. I would love to meet the Admiral and Chakotay also. Maybe some time with her former crewmates and especially your Admiral would help Naomi. Maybe a day at an amusement park? That was something I wanted to do as a child, but with the Cardassians pillaging Bajor, it was not an option. I have a meeting to attend. Till next time…" They reached to sever their respective comm. Units at the same time.


	44. Chapter 45

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Ch 45

The face on Admiral Janeway's screen was that of her former first officer. He was dressed in dark blue jeans and a black t shirt. To her experienced eye, he looked very troubled.

He rewarded her with a very faint smile. "To what do I owe the honor of this call?"

She furrowed her eyebrows at him and rubbed her forehead unconsciously. His face was unreadable. "Greskrendtrek talked to Kira the other day. It seems that Naomi is still having trouble adjusting to the Alpha Quadrant…"

At this news, Chakotay's head shot up and she saw the frown on his face and forehead. "That's understandable. Sam and Naomi were two of the more fortunate ones. They had Greskrentrek to come home. Some crewmembers came home to find their loved ones remarried or without homes due to the war."

Kathryn nodded at him while trying to look at ease with him. It was of course, futile. He knew her better then anyone else and that covered two quadrants. He had to resist asking her what was wrong. He knew that he had a difficult mission and now was not the time to start asking questions. There was a time and place for everything.

"What can I do help ease the Wildman's pain and burdens?"

He realized what he had paraphrased as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Kathryn had to muster all her will not to choke. His words were a reference to the promise he had made to her years ago while they were stranded on a planet due to insect bites.

Chakotay refrained from looking at her soul via her eyes. He instead sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap.

"Kira thought that a picnic and a day at an amusement park would be fun and therapeutic for her. She is not the only one who could benefit."

Chakotay could not help but smile.

"What?"

He shook his head. "I just find it amusing, the idea of Kira at an amusement park."

Kathryn replied. "She said she had wanted to go to one as a child, but with the occupation of Bajor, it was not an option."

"So which one does she want to take Naomi to?"

Kathryn raised her eyebrows in slight frustration. "Well, Kira was indecisive between Six flags and Hershey Park and Disney World and Disney Land ."

The smile on Chakotay's face widened from ear and now reached his eyes.

"Kira is one of the most decisive women I know. It's hard to imagine her not able to make a decision."

The admiral leaned forward in her chair as if she was about to tell a secret. "Well, maybe she should contact her spirit guide." Janeway had somehow managed to keep a straight face.

Chakotay groaned as he put his hand briefly over his eyes. "I do not know how that would go. She might try to kill her guide, like a certain Klingon did."

Janeway gave him a look of disbelief. "Bajorans are a very spiritual people. I assume there are exceptions. You know she was first officer to Ben Sisko, emissary of the Bajoran prophets."

Chakotay nodded. "I did not mean any disrespect, but Kira has a history of being very passionate. In many ways she reminds me of B'Elanna."

Kathryn could not disagree with that.

"So who all is coming to this party, besides the Wildman's?"

Kathryn said. "Whoever wants to come. So far, the Paris family, Kira and Odo, you and me."

Chakotay could not quite meet her eyes. He looked away and then at her right shoulder. "I do not think that I should come along."

A good two minutes of silence passed between them. When he finally looked back at her, she had a stunned look in her eyes and was fighting back tears.

"Why not?"

He did not break his eye contact. "Do you really need to ask why Kathryn?"

"But Naomi and Sam will be disappointed as I told Kira and Odo that you would be there. The Paris family will be disappointed also."

He gave her a hard look. "You had no right to make plans for me Kathryn. After seven years, ou should have figured that out."

She looked very unhappy and was at a loss for words.

"Do you love me Chakotay?"

He forced his face into an unreadable mask. He looked at her straight in the eyes. "That is not the point."

Her face got flushed at what she took as rejection. "Answer the question."

He looked annoyed. "Everything is about you isn't it? You still have not changed."

She looked like she was going to slap him through the screen.

Her tone had changed and sounded lethal. "Shall I make that an order?"

Chakotay glared at her but did not answer.

A few seconds went by. "Commander?"

The look on his face certainly did not look like he appreciated the moment. "So are we back to that game? I have things to do Admiral. I need to go."

She shook her head as he reached to terminate the connection. He froze and eventually put down his hand.

"If this is a good example of the way we act in private, should we really spoil Kira's and Naomi's plans? How are we supposed to comfort others when we cannot get along?"

She shook her head. "Do not pin this on me, Commander."

His face flushed again at the rank.

"I guess that I will have to tell our friends that you will not be coming."

He got a worried look in his eyes. Let's not let this ruin their day. Naomi, Kira and the others do not deserve to be on the receiving end of this. We need to get together to talk. Call me after your outing. I hope your reunion goes well."

She glared at him as she reached to sever the connection. "Well I guess that is not your problem." She terminated the link.

The Indian sat back in his chair and put his head in his hands. How were they supposed to be a family when they could not even be civil? This was not the right environment and he knew he had to tell her the truth. But she would not listen as long as she was angry. Maybe drastic times called for drastic measures.


	45. Chapter 46

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home ch46

THE GAME…

The house that Admiral Owen Paris owned looke zlike a happening place. It literally was. The house was filling up with people, mostly from Starfleet. The normal occupants of the Paris house consisted of Owen Paris, B'Elanna, Tom and the newest addition, Miral. Other friends expected to attend the excursion to Hershey Park were Sam Wildman, Greskrendtregk, Naomi, Kira, Odo, the Doctor, and the Janeway family were there as well. A beaming Kathryn opened the door for Sam Wildman and Greskrendtregk. She gave Sam a kiss. Greskrendtregk, her Ktarian husband shook hands with Kathryn, and then looked at something over her shoulder as they walked into the foyer.

Kathryn looked at him and watched as his distinctive yellow eyes with horizontally slit pupils widened for a fraction of a second, and her instincts screamed at her to look behind her. The auburn haired admiral barely had time to whirl around before she saw a miniature tornado rapidly advanced on her position. People were literally scrambling out of the way of little Naomi's path. She shrieked in delight as she launched herself into the admiral's arms. Janeway caught the half Katrian half human girl in her arms and spun her around laughing in delight. It felt so good to laugh, and it was therapeutic as well.

The mood was very festive. Even little Miral caught on. As Kathryn put down the miniature tornado, the quarter Klingon baby growled in happiness and her miniature Klingon ridges on her forehead flared.

Tom feigned a look of concern as he looked at Kira and then Odo.

"Isn't she a little young to be acting so much like B'Elanna already?"

The room suddenly got silent. Odo looked at Kira in shock. Kira didn't see him look at her due to sneaking a quick look at Owen. Owen wanted to laugh and he was struggling not burst out laughing due to having a mouthful of champagne. Kathryn forced herself to not smirk as she gave Gres a wink.

Gretchen Janeway who had been quite familiar with the Paris ' as Owen was her daughter's commanding officer winked at Phoebe. Phoebe failed miserably at trying not to give her famous sister Kathryn a poker face. Sam Wildman exchanged a feigned look of irritation with her hubby as Naomi just giggled and looked at B'Elanna.

B'Elanna raised an eyebrow at her husband and sneered as she said "Hell, no! It is never too early for our child to learn from the best. And don't you forget it flyboy!"

Samantha held up her glass of prune juice as she said "I will toast to that!" The half Klingon playfully punched her husband in the stomach. Tom feigned pain as he doubled over.

Gres looked at the half Klingon like she had sprouted another arm but shrugged and raised his glass of prune juice as he looked at Tom. "She's a woman and that means she is always right!"

The men in the room all raised their drinks in agreement and took a sip of whatever they happened to be drinking at the time. Samantha elbowed her hubby in the ribs as he gave her an innocent look.

Kira pretended to be outraged at the Ktarian's comment and glided over to B'Elanna. "You are not going to let him get away with that smart comment are you?"

The former chief of engineer aboard Voyager gave Kira a mischievous look. "I'm going to punish him but I am not sure how. Give me a moment."

Tom smiled at Naomi, who was busy trying to get B'Elanna's attention. "I know the perfect punishment!"

Kira ran a hand through her short red hair as she exclaimed "Well, what is it. Don't keep a girl in suspense!"

Naomi clapped and jumped up and down. "Make Tom come up with the first activity for everyone!"

Kathryn groaned and then grinned at Naomi. "No betting pools or

I'm going to court marshal him!" Everyone smiled at that remark.

Owen held up his champagne glass in the air. "I say we drink to that! He then dramatically took a sip of his wine as everyone laughed.

Odo looked at Kathryn curiously. "I bet there is a story waiting to be told here."

The admiral nodded. "Where should I start?"

Tom faked a look of indignation as he looked at his former captain. "Hey, I resent that!"

B'Elanna elbowed him in the ribs as everyone laughed. "Flyboy! You heard the Bajoran and Naomi. Time to pay up! Name the first activity!"

Tom made a pregnant pause as he lightly scratched his chin. He looked at everyone in the room. "With the exception of Gretchen and Phoebe, everyone has served on a starship."

"But I have not!" Naomi sounded like she was going to cry.

Tom bent over and patted her head. "You served as the captain's assistant, that counts!"

Naomi beamed at him.

Tom turned in the direction of Gretchen and Phoebe. In you cases, ladies, please make a list of things of do's and don'ts for Kathryn for her next starship tour of service."

Before he could continue, Naomi spoke up. "No cooking anything besides toast!"

Everyone had a good laugh at that. Kathryn gave the child a light pinch on her shoulder.

"As I was saying, the rest of you come up with a list of things that you or your crew, former or present should or should not do on a starship."

Owen, Odo, Gres and Kathryn put everyone's overnight luggage in the den. Owen came back from the den balancing an arm load of PADDS and proceeded to distribute them.

Tom raised a hand to get everyone's attention. "No cheating and looking at anyone else's list for inspiration."

Naomi spoke up. "But Tom, no cooking by the admiral, besides toast should be number one, right?"

At that comment, every one in the room had a good belly laugh. Kathryn just hugged Naomi.

"How much time do we get?" That was Odo.

Tom gave Naomi a questioning look. She shrugged.

He looked back at Odo. "Fifteen minutes."

Odo nodded and bent over his PADD.

A little over fifteen minutes later, Tom put his fingers in his mouth and whistled to get everyone's attention. "Time's up. Who wants to go first? Remember no cooking besides toast for the most awesome captain in the all four quadrants is the number one rule!"

Kathryn hugged Tom and had to wipe away the happy tears in her eyes as she sat back on the floor next to Naomi.

Everyone started speaking at once. "Tom Paris is a half way decent pilot for a nurse." That came from the doctor as he walked through the Paris front door.

"Hey!" He feigned a hurt look at the doc as everyone greeted the EMH. "That was unfair!"

"Captain Proton is not the Delta Quadrant's gift to women. Neither is Tom Paris."

"That includes the Gamma Quadrant as well!" That was from Odo.

Tom turned to look at the changeling and smiled. "So gang up on Tom day is? Well I can play also. Never play football with a changeling."

Everyone stopped and looked from Tom to Odo and held their breath. But they immediately saw the playful look in Tom's eyes.

Kira smirked as she looked at Tom. "Never play hide and seek with a changeling."

"Or a hologram!" Odo shot back and then winked at the doctor who smirked at him.

Owen sneezed and looked at Kathryn. "Janeway is god!" Everyone whistled and clapped.

Kathryn shook her head at Owen and smirked as she said;

"Starfleet Command should not be trusted. They wrote off Voyager without committing a through search." Owen nodded.

Gres looked at Odo and then Kira. Mutiny is NOT recommended. The

Captain always wins."

Sam gave Kathryn a knowing look. The Captain does not like being referred to as 'Sir' no matter what protocol states."

Gres looked at Odo and Kira. Time travel should be avoided at all times."

B'Elanna growled and everyone looked at her. "Never trust Tom with a secret."

Kathryn smiled as she looked at Tom. "There's coffee in that nebula."

"Do not get between Kathryn and her coffee if you value your life."

Gretchen giggled as she looked at Owen.

Phoebe gave her sister a playful slap. "Do not trust Neelix when he say she has something better then coffee."

Kathryn looked at Kira and raised an eyebrow. Never trust a Cardassian masquerading as a Bajoran."

Tom raised a hand and cleared his throat. "This is a good start. We should compile our list and see with what we come up with. Who should make the final list?"

Everyone agreed that it should be Naomi.

Forty five minutes later, Tom whistled again to get everyone's attention.

Naomi looked up from her PADD. "Here we go….

1. Do not let KJ cook anything besides toast.

2. The Captain is always right.

3. Except for when she tries to cook.

4. Rule 1 always applies except for when Chakotay is doing the cooking in case make sure there are plenty of extras.

5. Janeway is God.

6. Do not antagonize the Borg.

7. Except for when she tries to cook anything besides toast, and then rule two does not apply.

8. Do not antagonize the Klingon.

9. This goes double for Seven of Nine.

10. Klingons do not like Tribbles.

11. Tribbles do not like Klingons or ex Borg.

12. All Leola Root should have been jettisoned along with the Borg who tried to assimilate Voyager the first time in the Delta Quadrant.

13. Trying to blame Tom again when you get caught trying to pair up the command team means the loss of your holodeck time.

14. Kes is the resident psychic.

15. Vulcans do not play with the Q or anyone else.

16. There's coffee in that nebula.

17. Do not play hide and seek with a changeling.

18. That goes for a hologram too.

19. Fleet regs should not ban any Paris member from forming a voting pool.

20. The Captain does not like being referred to as 'Sir' no matter what protocol states.

21. Time travel should be avoided at all times.

22. Do not take away her coffee.

23. When the Klingon Chief Engineer finds out, you're dead.

24Perfection does not exist. Try telling a certain ex-Borg that.

25.Self-aware holograms are more trouble then help.

26. Consult your spirit guide when you need guidance, except for a certain Klingon. She tried to kill her guide.


	46. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trek

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

ch 47

Naomi was the first person to wake up. The big day was finally here. She was ecstatic. The grown ups had watched news reports the night before. She had been told that there was a 10 chance of rain, but she had gone to bed without worry. Today was another day, and she woke to blinding rays of sunlight in her eyes. Just as she was rubbing her eyes, she thought she heard some voices in the next room. One sounded somewhat familiar, but it was too muffled for her to determine who was speaking. She got up, closed the curtains, and went back to bed.

Meanwhile in the other room...

Phoebe Janeway was sitting in the office of Admiral Paris, talking to someone on the comm. Line. A few moments later, she had a visual on the video screen. It was Chakotay.

"I'm so tired off it all. More then seven years of nothing, absolutely nothing, she doesn't appreciate me at all."

Phoebe looked at him via the screen and smiled as she looked into his eyes. "I'm so sorry Chak. I don't know what to say."

He fought back the tears. "I think it is time to let go."

She gave him a wistful smile. "You could have anyone you wanted. You're the other half of the famous command team."

He rolled his eyes and tried in vain not to smile. Not only did he smile, it reached his eyes.

"You two should have been like…."

A noticeable pause went by. "Like what Phoebe?"

She looked uncomfortable. "Like Tarzan and Jane."

He choked on his herbal tea. "You read way too many romance novels. Kathryn is very level headed. It makes sense that you're the one who's the romantic."

She gave him a look of mock indignation. "Gee thanks so much! You sure know how to make a gal feel special!"

He laughed a deep belly laugh. When he was done, he looked her over. She found the courage to stare him down. He lost the contest and was the first to look away and then back at her.

"What?"

She was quiet for a few moments. "It's nothing."

He smiled at her. "Come on, you cannot leave me hanging with that smile.

She raised one eyebrow. "Oh yes I can."

He smirked at her. "What makes you think so?"

"Because I'm a Janeway." She gave him a reasonable copy of her sister's famous death glare.

He laughed so hard he had to hold his side for a moment. "Wow. I haven't felt like this for a while. I didn't know I could feel like this around another woman." He looked everywhere but her. She averted her gaze at him. Finally they looked at each other. There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments while they both stared at each other.

"She doesn't deserve you."

"At one time I would have argues with you or anyone else who would have said that, but not anymore."

He watched as she leaned forward. Almost as quickly, she leaned back. "What is it?" He watched as tears ran down her face.

"If you were my man, I would not have let you go."

That was the last thing Phoebe got out as a little girl walked into the room and hid behind the overstuffed black chair near the entrance to the door.

He ran his hands through his hair. "Please don't cry."

Phoebe only cried harder. She put her fingertips on the screen. At the same time the former Maquis smiled and pointed to his forehead with one finger. He repeated that action twice more, but did it right under the first space on his forehead and then the second space.

Phoebe's eyes got wide and she nodded.

He leaned forward in the seat just processing the scene. 'What do you want from me Phoebe?"

A good three minutes of silence went by. "I know its wrong but I want a chance."

Chakotay felt his heart stop just for a moment. "You're her sister. I can't do this."

"She'll never commit to you! She has your baby but where is she Chakotay? She's not in your house or even your bed. She won't appreciate you."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Would tell me why I would want to date another Janeway? Why would I be so stupid?" He laughed and it was a harsh sound.

The girl in the corner of the room flinched and started to cry silently.

"Because she has Starfleet, and that is her first love, not mine. She is back here, but you and her are not together."

Chakotay held his breath. HE KNEW Phoebe was telling the truth.

"If you break your word, I won't be your friend."

Phoebe nodded. "I do not care what people think of me. I do not pretend to be invincible like her. I wouldn't waste a chance with a treasure like you."

He could see that her tears were genuine. "We should keep this a secret at least for a while. I'll contact you when you get back to your place. I do not want someone walking in on us.

The little girl in the room fled and went back to bed.


	47. Chapter 48

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch48

**Pls note that Rhonda Sexton (my proofreader and friend) suggested that the scene I wrote could work during the interrogation he had to endure at Seska's hands, during Manuevers.**

**RATED MATURE**

**This is a flashback Chakotay is having as he wonders how everyone like Hershey theme Park.**

**This takes place during Manuevers. That episode is where Seska helps herself to a sample of his DNA.**

_**Anything in Italics implies mental musings.**_

Commander Chakotay was feeling an emotion that was alien to him. It was something that he was bound to feel at some point in his life. It was fear. Yes, he was a former captain, but he was still a human being.

_Too bad I can't turn into a Vulcan and conquer or repress my emotions to the point that I don't even acknowledge them. Maybe I should be like Tuvok…better to be a Vulcan and not feel. At least not for every seven Earth years, give or take a few months he amended. Wasn't there a poem about having a deity grant the wisdom to change the things I can change? I think that poem also had a line about having the wisdom to accept the things one cannot change. I wonder who wrote that. He or she must have been a very 1WISE person. _

He involuntarily snorted. It was not something he was accustomed to.

_Well that writer of that poem asked to be granted the wisdom to be able to accept the things one cannot change. I will NOT be defeated, especially by a __Cardassian__. Get a hold of yourself, Indian. That is not very Maquis like or becoming of a Starfleet officer._

He resisted the urge to shake his head once more at herself.

"I am a first officer. I need to stop talking to myself."

He had not meant to speak out loud. He heard footsteps.

"Who is it?"

Seska looked at him and shook her head, while smirking.

"Talking to yourself huh? Not so becoming of you. How low the mighty have fallen! As for who it is, it is I, your former best friend and lover."

"I cannot believe I ever loved you," he spat.

She slapped him hard and he could feel the taste of blood. But he could not wipe it from his mouth, his hands were bound behind his back. He was secured to a chair, in a sitting position.

He laughed. and the sound was a hollow one. "You are not my best friend."

"You don't listen well do you? I said former best friend." She was circling him.

He knew she was referring to the half Klingon, B'Elanna. He scowled at her.

She was close enough to make out his body language. His whole body instinctively turned into battle ready stance.

"I come in peace, Chakotay." The unwanted visitor brought up her hands in a show of mock peace.

"What do you want Seska?"

She heard the harshness in his voice. "You are not in Kansas anymore,Chakotay."

"And?"

She snorted. "We are not in Kansas anymore. You could use a best friend out here."

He rolled his eyes at her as he sat back down. "I do not have time for this." He gritted his teeth.

"You never could appreciate that Terran kid's movie. It is still a classic."

He had work to do. He could not do it as a prisoner. "Of course you would not be able to understand that movie was very much a political statement and not at all a kid's fairy tale."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Well then the writer should not have put singing dwarfs in the movie. Are you going to tell me that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was also a political statement also? There were dwarfs in that too." She had a twinkle in her eye but he was not in the mood.

"What do you want?"

"To be your best friend."

"I suppose you think you are being cute by saying that, but you are not."

Her smiled all but went away.

He narrowed his eyes at her as she stepped into arms reach. "You know B'Elanna and I never had a romance."

She pretended to be annoyed. "I did not come here for that."

He rubbed his tattoo. He had once had a romance with Seska but it was over a long time ago. It had taken him a long time to see that he could not have a romance when they were on the same ship and fighting the Cardassians. Sadly, that later meant the Feds and Starfleet as well. She had a harder time accepting it, and he was still not entirely convinced she had ever accepted the situation. When they became a combined crew, it had occurred to him that her hopes would resurface.

"I cannot believe you sold us out to Starfleet. That was your first mistake. You will give Voyager to me!"

He simply stared at her in silence, not dignifying that remark with a reply.

She slapped again.

He had expecting this and was getting very tired of the status quo. He was not tired of defending Janeway, but of being questioned. He counted to ten silently before he spoke. Some Starfleet officers on the ship might have flinched, but not him. He was a trained officer and was a former Maquis.

"I am only going to put up with this for so long and for so much." He heard the edge in her voice, but she kept on. "I am a Cardassian not a Fed or Starfleet sheep. Janeway got us stranded…not even on the wrong side of OUR quadrant, but one in one seventy light years from home! You know friendship and allies are needed if we're to even have a chance.

His voice softened but he looked smug. "I know how you feel."

She became the picture of coldness. He got a chill for just a second as she spoke.

There were a few moments of silence as she stood face to face with him, then she slapped him for a third time. This time his head bent back at the intensity of the slap. He tasted blood once more.

"Mocking me will not endear you to me."

"Don't you mean to the Kazon, you lap dog? Tell me how a strong woman like yourself got to be a lapdog?"

She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth as she yelled. I wish I could just kill you, but not before we have Voyager!"

"Over my dead body!"

She stared at him. "If that is what it takes, so be it.

The two former lovers stared at each other with an intense hatred.

Your Trebus was given away in an act of Cowboy Diplomacy.

He looked at her. "I agree that the treaty failed, but what happened between the Feds and YOUR people was different than what Ambassador Spock tried."

She looked at him. "You forgot the part about failing. The Romulus and Vulcan home worlds will never become allies. The Romulans will never become the sheep of the Feds. Senator Pardek sold out Spock to his own people. Those Eighty years of friendship between that Vulcan-Human mongrel was a farce from the start.

He saw red. "At least what the Vulcan tried was genuine, if not misguided. Your people had NO INTENTION of honoring the treaty."

She began circling him again. "The Romulans were smart enough not to trust that Vulcan born by a Human whore, nor any of your weak Feds species. My people should never have bothered to try to make a treaty with the unfit."

He looked at her and willed himself not to spit on her. "Too bad your spirit guide didn't eat you." He laughed at her.

Her eyes bulged and looked as if they would leap out of her face.

He just shook his head at her. Come on Seska, that was so lame. I would have expected something a little better from a former Maquis."

She mimicked his laugh. "Is there a echo here? I would have thought the same from a Maquis traitor."

His shoulders shook in rage as much as one could who was bound to a chair. "You're the traitor. Never mind that you turned out to be a lying Cardassian. It was you who gave away Fed technology to the enemy. A true Cardie wouldn't have given anything to an enemy."

She advanced on him, and he had to strongly resist the urge to flinch.

"You have too much nerve. Your former crew and I got stranded here because of Janeway. A true Maquis would have gotten us home and not left us here. If she was so smart, she would have found a way to save the Ocampa and get us home. Why didn't she just place time delayed bombs on the array before sending us on our way back to the Alpha Quadrant?"

He blinked once.

She smirked. "Cat got your tongue? She's not as smart as she has your crew convinced."

He glared at her.

She stopped circling him again and looked at him. "Was she worth the fuck Chakotay?"

"We didn't do that."

She narrowed her eyes in new interest. "We? Please, you are more gullible then Ambassador Spock. He was half Vulcan and raised to be one, a sheep. But you are full Human. I would have expected better. "Janeway is 100 Starfleet. She would never have a relationship with any officer. She was born to it. You're in for one hell of heartbreak. A true Maquis warrior wouldn't have shown his hand. Of course, you broke my heart. Your people have a saying. What goes around comes around. Now it's your turn lover boy!" She looked at him, clearly wanting a response.

He rolled his eyes. "You make a worse actor than you do a fake Bajoran."

She laughed. "You are priceless, Chakotay!! You are the one who had a lying Vulcan on your ship as well as me. Let us not even get into Tom Paris selling you out to Starfleet." She saw his mouth stiffen for a fraction of a second. She knew that getting duped by Tuvok. Tom and herself were sore points to him.

"Tuvok and Tom were working for Starfleet. They were doing their jobs, but you, you're like the Romulans, no honor. You only work for yourself."

"Think again. Tom was a mercenary."

His jaw tightened again.

She smiled in triumph.

He looked away from her. "This has gone on far enough. I won't say anything else to you."

She took his head in her hand and forced him to look at her. "You are right about one thing, Chakotay. This has gone far enough, but I'm not done with you yet, and I promise that Janeway's death will neither be quick nor kind."

"You leave her alone. She is out of your league. You're better suited to mess with me!" He screamed at her at the top of his lungs.

She gave him a wilted look. "Your feelings have for her have betrayed you for the last time. You are so weak!"

He gave her a deadly look. "You have no right to speak. Our relationship was based was on nothing but a lie.

He licked his parched and busted lip as he looked at her. "You were always a fuck. That's all you ever were to me."

She yelled in frustration as she hit him so hard that he fell over. The chair was old and burst into pieces. He hit the floor so hard, he lost consciousness.


	48. Chapter 49

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 49

Admiral Janeway was drinking a cup of coffee with one hand while balancing sleeping Miral on her opposite hip when a child bumped into her. She looked down and saw a Naomi crying.

Naomi looked around and then pulled her former captain into the walk in closet of B'Elanna and Tom's room. "I'm thirsty."

Kathryn smiled. She made a step in the direction to leave the closet and she was rewarded by a small child blocking her path with an adamant look on her face.

"If I am going to get a drink for you, then it might be such a good idea to hold me hostage."

Naomi stiffened but soon saw the twinkle in her eye. However, she did not relinquish her position. "I'm sorry if I get demoted but this is worth it."

Janeway had a amused look on her face. "What is it sweet heart?"

The child asked to try the coffee. Janeway gave her a look of surprise and shrugged her shoulders looking at the child affectionately. It is not good for you."

Naomi pouted by frowning. "But Admiral, you beat the Borg on coffee."

Janeway rewarded her with a big grin. "I had a lot of help from your fellow crewmates." She paused, "But the coffee did help.

It is hot and if you promise to sip it, then I suppose that few sips will be okay."

Naomi nodded eagerly as she held out her hand for the cup of coffee. After a quick sip, she made a face and a choking sound. "This is vile. No wonder the Borg didn't assimilate Voyager. That smell is enough to keep Species 8472 away from wherever you are."

Janeway smiled as she drained the rest of the coffee. So why are we hiding in the closet NAOMI?"

The girl got a sheepish look on her face. "I thought we needed privacy."

"So why do the captain's assistant need privacy?"

"So we can have a little girl talk."

The Admiral smiled at the half Ktarian's response. Her eyes sparkled. "I love girl talk."

Miral cooed at that moment. Both looked at Miral and then back at each other.

"That was Miral's way of saying she loves girl talks also." Janeway winked at the elder child. Naomi winked back.

"I wanted to talk about a boy."

Kathryn smiled softly at Naomi. "Did you find yourself a new friend?"

NAOmI burst in to tears and wrapped her arms around the Admiral and cried.

"I'm sorry. What happened?"

The child stopped crying and gestured towards her ear. Janeway slowly balanced Miral on her hip as she crouched down.

"Phoebe and Chakotay are dating."


	49. Chapter 50

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch50

The day at Hershey Park, Middletown PA

The chapter starts off at the Paris house.

Kathryn almost dropped Miral as she felt her heartbeat and the unborn child's skip a beat in unison. She was barely able to hide the tears in her eyes. She did not want to ruin the day for kids. Still, she could not control her gasp.

Naomi gave her a big hug and told her that Chakotay would come to his senses.

"You want to know how I know this."

Kathryn could not help but smile. "Cuz he did get dump Seven."

Kathryn nodded.

But Naomi was not done. "B'Elanna says that guys sometimes would rather keep their pride and be dumb then say they are sorry."

Kathryn had a good belly laugh. She could just imagine the half Klingon giving Naomi her idea of advice at one of their monthly sleepovers. The Admiral had not been able to attend the last one due to not wanting to face B'Elanna. The truth was that she had not treated Chakotay as the precious gem he was. She also did not want to be on the receiving end of a Klingon temper…even if she very much deserved it.

The half Ktarian pulled on the admiral's clothing. "But B'Elanna also says that the wise warrior knows that there is a time for crying and a time for saying sorry. She also said you might have to beg and crawl before you can walk and sometimes you have to admit defeat before your heart heals. She says that is life. How you deal with life determines if you have character."

Kathryn looked down at the girl and kissed her forehead.  
"She said that?"

Naomi got a sheepish grin on her face.

"It was actually Chakotay. He said it on the ship when Iceb, Seven, B'Elanna, Chakotay and I were playing hide and seek."

"Why did he say that?"

"B'elanna would not reveal her hiding place and he was attempting to goad her into coming out."

Naomi looked up at her former captain. "That is what she said. But I think that Chakotay was not the only one who was hurt over Seska's betrayal. Those words about having to admit defeat before your heat can heal were meant to soothe both of them, right?"

Kathryn nodded.

Kathryn looked at the little girl. The former captain remembered B'Elanna's regurgitation of that that. It had been right after Chakotay had been tortured by Seska. "You are very perceptive. Sometimes even starship captains make mistakes. No one is perfect."

Naomi made a face. "Tell that to Seven."

Kathryn laughed even as she knew that she should stick up for Seven, but she was hurting too much to care.

Kathryn held out her hand to the girl. "Let's go see if everyone is ready to go to Hershey Park."


	50. Chapter 51

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch51

Leaving for Hershey Park, Hershey, PA.

Pls note: **Jem'Hadar **is the correct spelling for the Dominion's genetically engineered warriors. I have misspelled them before.

By the time the girls had reached the kitchen, everyone was showered, dressed and were eating the last of Tom's waffles.

"Bout time you girls showed up." That was from Tom.

"I was about to call in the Jem'Hadar to look for you ladies!" Kira's eyes twinkled as everyone laughed at her.

"I bet even the Jem'Hadar would not eat your cooking!" Everyone snickered at that. B'Elanna glared at her husband and gave him a kick in the shin.

"Ouch! That was not fair!"

B'Elanna was not about to let him off so easy. She crossed her arms. "What do you say?"

Tom got an innocent look on his face. "I bet even the Jem'Hadar would not eat your cooking, Admiral." He looked with satisfaction at Kathryn who shook head.

Tom feigned a confused look on his face.

The Klingon rolled her eyes at Naomi and looked back at her husband. "No flyboy! You should have said ONLY the Jem'Hadar would have liked her cooking!"

Everyone thought this was funny. They all looked at Kathryn who trying in vain not to laugh.

Kira, Sam, Naomi and KJ started to collect everyone plates from the table as Owen ordered them to sit back down. B'Elanna disappeared into the other room so she could feed Miral.

Owen handed KJ a grapefruit on a plate that also had a spoon on it. Naomi who was eating already half way through her grapefruit offered her a glass of milk. KJ smiled at her in mock horror. "What no coffee?"

"Only if you promise not to cook for my people. We do not want them declaring war on the Alpha Quadrant again." KJ winked back at Odo.

Sam did her best to imitate the former captain's death stare Odo. Everyone had tears coming down there faces by the time they stopped crying, except for Odo who had no tear ducts. He just emitted a happy sigh.

Sam brushed Miral's gums as everyone else brushed their teeth.

Owen looked at his watch as Naomi was walking to the front door. "We are a little early. I scheduled three and a half hours of open time before we all meet for lunch. So that should give everyone time to go for rides except for Katie. Do not forget we are meeting for lunch at noon before we go visit the Indian Echo Caverns."

Everyone nodded as they all piled into the Starfleet issued air limousine.

Odo asked. "What does everyone have planned for the day?

"I want some cotton candy!" B'Elanna rolled her eyes and pretended to conspire with Kira who was sitting next to her.  
"I was right when I told Harry that Tom was the first adolescent on Voyager."

Odo volunteered first. "Kira, Gres, Sam, B'Elanna and Tom and I will be going to the 'Fall Fling' Dinner Train."

Naomi looked confused. "But we have not had lunch."

Gres smiled. "It will be later."

KJ spoke next. "I want to go to that also."

"But who are you going to dance with?" Naomi looked despondent.

Owen came to her rescue. "Her commanding officer would be honored if she would come with me."

KJ flashed him a dazzling smile.

Naomi brightened up with the knowledge that her captain would not be dancing alone.

"Well I want to take Miral and Naomi on the steam powered train ride. They interact some of Earth's Civil War skirmishes. Gres and Sam both nodded their approval to Kira.

KJ looked at B'Elanna. "B'Elanna, you and I should take Miral and Naomi on a hayride."

"What is a hay ride?"

"It will be fun Naomi. We will be drawn by horses." The Doctor had a dreamy look on his face. "I have always wanted to ride a horse."

Owen held up his hand. "Fantastic. Does everyone mind if I have a request?"

Tom and Naomi and Miral all groaned at the same time.

Owen smiled. "We should all go on M and H scenic railroad train ride. It is an 11 mile ride. There is also the brief narration on the history of the city of Hershey."

Everyone nodded as they each grabbed their respective bagged lunch and tumbled out of the door. They had arrived.


	51. Chapter 52

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

Ch 52.

Note: Anything in Italics means that person is thinking to him or her self.

Phoebe Janeway was nervous. Not only was she nervous, she was almost to the point of shaking.

_Get a hold of yourself! YOU are a Janeway!_

_I am not a man stealer! I am not a man stealer! I am Not…_

Chakotay was casually leaning on the doorframe of Phoebe Janeway's bathroom which was across the hall from her bedroom. The door to her room was open and he watched in amusement as she hurried back and forth from the closet to the mirror to the bed. Chakotay had lost count of how many times she had changed her outfit. The bed was covered with strewn articles of clothing.

"What do you think?"

Chakotay looked at the emerald green dress that Phoebe was wearing.

"I think you are going to need a bigger bed at the rate you keep changing clothes."

Phoebe rolled her eyes and gave him a playful smack on the elbow.

"I mean the outfit." She looked into his eyes, searching for she did not know what. Not that he would voice it, but he was not sure what he was looking for either. For almost a decade he knew what he wanted more then anything. But he had to admit that nothing back on Earth had gone for him as planned.

"The outfit is beautiful."

She looked at him. "Are you are sure we can do this?"

"Of course I am." He quickly advanced on her and gave her a gentle hug.

He held out his tie to her and she quickly tied it on him.

With a quick kiss on his cheek, they were out the door.

Three blocks from Sisko's Creole Restaurant, or Sisko's for short, their mouths began to water. Joseph Sisko, father of the famous former Ben Sisko was known for his restaurant. It was one of the few things in the Alpha Quadrant that had not changed during or after the Dominion War. Not only was the food to die for, but it had unofficially became a planet wide inspiration. It seemed that like it had been there forever. Well, maybe not forever, but Boothby, the long lived groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy had been coming there for decades. One of the jokes that had also been around for decades was that cadets did not officially start there semester they had meet Boothby and eaten at Sisko's. They did not notice the female blonde accompanied by the dark haired male looking at them in a booth at the far corner of the restaurant observing them in the corner. The looks on their faces were identical ones of hate.

Joesph Sisko came over and shook Chakotay's hand and gave Phoebe a hug almost as soon as they had entered the restaurant.

"It is always a pleasure to see new people, but of course neither of you need an introduction."

He pulled out a chair for Phoebe as he kept speaking. "I am looking forward to your next art show next week."

He turned to Chakotay. "Of course the whole quadrant knows who you are."

He handed two menus to the couple and started to tell them about the specials.

Chakotay picked the vegetarian spicy gumbo soup, a salad and a glass of Klingon soda.

Phoebe picked jambalaya for them to share, a Pepsi for herself and clam chowder soup.

A short time later, Ben reappeared with a tray with four glasses on it, pitcher of ice water and the drinks they had ordered. Before leaving he collected the menus and took a quick bow.

The figures in the background took that moment to leave unnoticed.


	52. Chapter 53

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Coming Home

**Ch53**

**NOTE: The info I included about Hershey, PA and the Hershey family business came from . The narration includes many quotes from Mr. Hershey.**

Everyone was soon on their way to the 11 mile scenic train ride, courtesy of the Middletown and Hummelstown Railroad Company. A few moments later, Naomi who was leaning against her father, Gres, was quoting from the brochure. "The scenic 11.5 minute ride through Swatara Creek Valley includes live narration of the history of Hershey , PA and food made by the Hershey company. Other choices for history narration also include the Union Canal that was completed in 1822 and Canal Lock 33."

She looked at her parents with a questioning look. "Which one?" Sam and Gres exchanged smiles. It was a well known fact on Voyager that history was their child's favorite subject in school. Gres was about to reply when a familiar feminine

voice from the seat behind him spoke up.

"Can I choose the first narration?"

Naomi's eyes got as wide as saucers as she looked back behind her in disbelief at the Doctor and a smiling Gretchen Janeway who was sitting next to him.

Naomi and her parents could not help but stare at Kathryn's mother before they remembered their manners. But Naomi could not resist.

"What are you doing here Mrs. Janeway?"

Gretchen gave the Doctor a smile before winking at the little girl.

"The Doctor invited me along and I thought it would be a nice surprise. "

A few rows forwards a another familiar voice piped up. "A nice surprise indeed, this is a treat mother." Kathryn snuck a look at smug looking Owen before her head appeared around her seat again.

Her mother winked at her child and then at Naomi. "I had to think of something that would surprise the woman who beat the Borg."

KJ looked at her and smiled. "You know I had a lot of help."

"Damn straight!"

They heard an ouch from Tom and could just imagine B'Elanna kicking him in the shin or elbowing him in the ribs.

The Doctor got in on the fun. He turned in the direction of the half Klingon and deadpanned. "Please refrain from injuring anyone. This is my day off and I am not making house calls."

He was rewarded with a growl from Miral and B'Elanna almost at the same time.

Gretchen looked at Naomi. "So, I thought it would be fun to try to get on the train unnoticed by the Voyager family. I did pay for the ticket. But don't you think Mrs. Janeway is kind of formal?"

Naomi had a stricken look on her face for a split second, thinking she had offended the elder Janeway before she noticed the twinkle in her eyes.

"You call my daughter Aunt Kathryn? Do you want to call you Aunt Gretchen?" She laughed in union with Naomi's parents.

Naomi wrinkled up her nose. "I never knew my Ktarian grandmother. But if I did, I bet she would be just like you."

Gretchen;s eyes filled with tears. "That was a very nice thing to say."

Naomi was nonplussed. "We have recording of her voice and you remind me of her."

"Would you like to call me Grandma?"

Naomi looked for approval first from KJ and then from her parents who all nodded.

"Grandma Janeway."

Gretchen smiled and sighed happily.

Naomi turned to the Doctor. "Can I call you Grandpa?  
She was rewarded with a mix of several smiles and gasps of surprise from her friends.

The Doctor and Gretchen exchanged smiles. They instinctively looked each other before he replied. "I not sure that I am so quite ready for that yet." The Doctor tried not to smile at the girl.

"Right. You have to get married first. But the proper way to court a girl is to go out on a date."

Gretchen gave the girl a bemused smile. "Where did you learn such an old fashioned word like the word court?"

"From Chakotay."

Gretchen, the Doctor, and her parents all frowned.

Once again, it was Owen to the rescue. "Naomi, its time for the narration to start."

A man dressed in an old conductor's uniform from the 1920's walked up to Naomi, after giving Owen a wink. "Would you like to pick the first narration?"

"Yes sir."

The man and she smiled at the same time.

"I would like to hear about the history of Hershey, please."

The gentleman smiled at her and nodded before exiting the cabin.

Everyone settled back to listen as the narration started.

"Hershey is known being the sweetest place on Earth. It is also the home to the delectable Hershey Company, which makes the Hershey bars and kisses. The city is also the home of H.B. Reese Candy Company. Reese is the maker of the top grossing candy for North America , Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. In addition, the city is home to Hershey Park and the Penn State Milton Hershey Medical Center and the Milton Hershey School for orphans and troubled youth."

There was a noticeable pause a stewardess came into the car and handed out samples of Hershey kisses, peanut butter cups and miniature samples of Hershey bars of chocolate.

The narration soon continued. "The city of Hershey has no official standing as an incorporated municipality. All municipality services come from the township of Derry . Hershey was named for Derry Church , in 1806, but was rechristened Hershey, after the rapidly growing fondness Hershey's Chocolates. Mr. Hershey had originally planned to build in Lancaster . But the property owners wanted more money then the land was worth. So he looked elsewhere. Back in 1898, he bought the old homestead with the idea that some day he might retire and become a gentleman farmer, but one Sunday afternoon while Mrs. Hershey and he were up and looking about, she remarked, 'Why don't you build your factory here in this lovely valley?' Her suggestion echoed something in my own mind. So he decided to go ahead.

The Hershey's were very generous to those who were not as fortunate as they were. They gave away large sums of money to businesses and charities and many worthwhile causes.

Mr. Hershey was often asked why he chose to build a candy company. His response was 'I'm not going into the chocolate business to add to my wealth,' he told them candidly. 'I have all the money I need now and want to find a practical use for the money I entrusted. I want to find a way to put it to work so that it will benefit others.'

Among those many benefits that the company provided were scholarships for children and jobs for the Derry Township ."

Naomi loved history but she was trying hard not to eaves drop on the Doctor and Gretchen. As soon as the narration ended, she wasted no time in cooking up her next plan. She was a very intelligent and resourceful little girl. Being raised on a starship in the Delta Quadrant had given her very unique knowledge. She had many excellent role models while she was on Voyager, not to mention the experiences of the "king of fool around" Tom Paris. Not only was he a decent pilot for a medic, an excellent husband and father, but very good at pranks and scheming. She had learned a lot. She got permission to switch seats with B'Elanna for a few moments and sat next to Tom. B'Elanna just winked at her husband and gave the former captain's assistant thumbs up. She had a pretty good idea what they were going to cook up. They were careful to whisper.

By the time B'Elanna indicated that she was ready to sit back down, Naomi and the king of fool around were whispering starting a betting pool on how long it would take the Doctor to ask Gretchen out.


	53. Chapter 54

Dislcaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Ch 54

Coming Home

**Mature content**

Ch 54 REPOSTED DUE TO LACK OF SPACING.

Note: The paragraphs in chapter 53 about Hershey P.A. and about the Hershey Family are quotes from .

Seven of Nine was** not** happy. Had she been a drone, she would have said that happiness was irrelevant. But she was not a drone. No thanks to Janeway. She rolled her eyes in a very human fashion. She did not want the plan to fail. No only did she not want to the plan to fail, she wanted to be rid of her associate. But he had a grudge and would do the job well. He was really annoying. She also could not fathom what Janeway could EVER seen in this unworthy human male. But he was easy to manipulate. She was having a hard time not thinking Janeway and Chakotay. Her thoughts kept going from one to the other. She waited till she heard the click of her door to walk away from the door. She had not even take a full step before she found herself looking at the mirror in the foyer. It had been a gift from KJ. It was during a time when things had been easier for her. Granted, regaining her humanity had not been easy. She was a Borg longer then she had been Human. Literally. But there had been times when her life had been simpler. Life had been simpler before she had dated Chakotay and they had returned to the Alpha Quadrant. But since being forcibly severed from the collective, she had always had a companion, a friend, a mentor. That woman had been Kathryn Janeway. It seemed no one else had been willing to believe in _her_, Seven. Chakotay and B'Elanna were barely civil to her during her first years on the ship. Harry had at one time had a crush on her. But he was so much like a child. She did not have time for that. Besides, he had turned down her offer to copulate. She needed a real man. If it was not Chakotay, then who would it be? It had taken years for the Indian to believe in her...but he finally had come through. Or had he? She could not deny that her life was empty without Janeway and the fact that Chakotay had left her was just one more blow on a never ending wound. She did not think she was so capable of hating Chakotay on this level. But part of her told her that the fact that she could meant she had came along way in her path to humanity. Janeway had forced her from the Collective and made promises to be there. But she had neglected to mention that she would be there as long as the former first officer had eyes only for his captain. She had thought of Janeway as more then a mentor, a mother figure. She thought she understood humanity enough that mothers or mother figures were supposed to put their children above the opposite sex. That meant even the former first officer. But Chakotay had dated her and left her. A small part of her realized that eventually Kathryn could be forgiven. But **not** Chakotay. He would pay. But she was just not sure if it was possible to punish him without hurting the admiral. But Kathryn was a warrior and could get over anything. The Indian had true Native American blood and he was even raised in his culture. But he was not worthy of that Indian blood. Chakotay did not deserve any mercy. If she could not have perfection, then she did not she why the other couples should. She finally admitted through gritted teeth that she could not bring herself to hate or kill Kathryn. Before she turned from the mirror, she felt one hot tear roll along her cheek as she felt her self whisper to herself. "Why did you leave me Kathryn when I needed you the most?"


	54. Chapter 55

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

**Chakotay has another flashback.**

Chakotay rubbed his tattoo. He was tired both physically and mentally. He knew it was illogical and NOT productive or healthy to obsess. He looked himself in the mirror. Who the hell was her kidding? He was obsessed with KJ. He brewed a pot of herbal tea and sat on the couch trying to find peace. But the more tea he ingested, the more agitated he became. He remembered a conversation KJ had told him about. Apparently, he was **not** the only one who was obsessed with her. Her former fiancé was also.

He whispered out loud the man's name. "Mark Johnson."

He wanted to throw his teacup but he knew that would not accomplish anything.

He sipped his tea as he remembered.

The newly appointed admiral and he had been enjoying the sunset. This had been right after they had returned to the Alpha Quadrant. They had been sitting on the roof of her house.

She had turned to him with a sad look in her eyes.

"I ran into Mark today."

For a split second the Indian's heart had froze. But he was a good actor. He smiled at her. His response had been one of true love.

"Because I love you I have enough honor to let you go. Do you want him?"

She gave him a withering look. "I did not say I want him. I love you, Chakotay."

He had forced himself to breathe slowly. "Why did you mention him?"

She looked him in the eye. "Because I love you, not him. But the words we exchanged were not civil. He divorced his wife as soon as we returned. It was final this morning when I ran into him. Kasey deserved better. I told him so."

KJ had reached out for his hand and he had accepted. "Nothing will come between us."

He nodded and kissed her.


	55. havoc

Dislcaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina W.

Ch 55

Coming Home

**Mature content**

**She heard her door being opened and mentally told herself to come back to the planet Earth!**

They looked each other as he closed the door. "Seven years I waited. "Seven!"

The blonde gave him a confused look. She was not sure if he was now saying her name or was babbling again.

She looked at him. "Repeating yourself is not efficient." She was rewarded with a look of stone from her associate.

"Have you heard anything I have said for the past few minutes?

She frowned at him. "As the Doctor would say, crystal clear."

He rolled his eyes. She ignored him. He was not convinced. "Are you sure you are strong enough to see this through?"

She stopped and gave him her best imitation of Janeway's death glare.

He put his hands on hips and glared back at her. He was clearly not amused.

They made sure not to get on the same air car. The tall person with chestnut colored hair arrived at Seven's secluded residence first, and she arrived an hour later.

He handled the container with the palm sized home made explosive device cautiously to prevent if from going off. She nodded once in assurance, and he looked back at her.

"Who should we start with first?"

Seven looked down at the PADD and pointed to a specific name without hesitation, then looked back at him as he repeated the coordinates and she nodded in affirmation.

"It is time delayed, and it will do the job." She nodded at the lean man.

He nodded and carefully put on the blonde wig and changed to his green contacts, and put on the antique glasses with plain glass. Next, he stripped off his usual clothing and put on blue slacks, a white tee shirt and a light blue jacket that said Jaima's Flowers. He looked at himself in the hall mirror, then let Seven check his appearance as well.

Before he went out the door, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and picked up the flowers. He took three public transports to his destination. He could have made it on just one transport, but he was being extra careful to cover his tracks. He rang the bell and a surprised looking Harry Kim greeted him.

"Hello. I work for Jaima's Flowers and I have some Bolian roses for a Harry and Libby."

He handed the flowers over to a stunned looking Harry and then presented a padd with a stylus to sign.

Harry asked who they were from.

The man smiled and looked at the fake invoice on top of his pad that Harry had just signed and returned. "An Admiral Janeway and Mr. Chakotay."

Harry gave him a funny look before thanking him. The man smiled back as Harry closed the door. The brown haired man made sure he was out of earshot before he softly muttered "two down, two to go."

Ten minutes later, Libby walked into the house. Just as Harry was telling her about the flowers, an explosion went off. The flowers somersaulted through the air in dozens of tiny pieces. Debris littered the room.


	56. Chapter 56

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek:Voyager.

Bina Walburn

Coming Home

Chakotay was at turning point in his life. There seemed to be a great many turning points in his life of late. He did not welcome the surprises that kept coming his way. He also could not deny the source of the surprises that kept turning my life upside down. It was a certain redhead. Chakotay smiled ruefully at that. Since when was that news where a certain redhead was concerned?

He knew he loved her, but it was killing both of them... Chakotay took another swing at the punching bag as he mentally obsessed about her. That was NOT new either. He had been obsessing about her for years, but it had not been forever. As he took in an air into his lungs, he continued with his mania, his fixation.

He snorted as he remembered that there was a time before his life with KJ in the Delta Quadrant. There had been Seska. Even as he felt his arm with the boxing glove make contact with the punching bag again, he could not suppress the chill and shudder that went through him. Seska… Now she was the stuff where nightmares were born or originated. He could not help but smile at that analogy. The smile did not last long.

There was also Seven, another relationship that had gone bad. That one had died a quick death, thanks to the Admiral. He could not even imagine being married to Seven. They had only had a few dates, but the Kathryn Janeway from the future said in her timeline it had happened. Not only had it happened, Seven's death had come between Kathryn and him. In the other timeline, Seven's death had caused him to blame Kathryn and things were never the same.

He hit the bag with his other fist. That one was for Seska. Next, he used his right fist. This was for Kellin. He knew he was dishonoring Kellin's memory, but he had barely had any time with her, and she would have forgotten him. His logs were the only memories he had of her. He seemed not to care. The next punch with his left fist was for Riley. Next came Kathryn, he forgot to breathe.

His fist made contact with the bag again and again and again until he was about to pass out. He quickly took a deep breath as he felt light headed for a few moments. He had to force himself not to try to take air too fast into his tortured lungs.

He knew he had over exerted himself, but he did not care. Sometimes it felt good to lose control. He was just getting out of the shower when he slipped and fell. He hit his head on the tile.

When he came to, he felt odd. He knew that he had not initiated a vision quest, but that area of his brain was stimulated. This had never happened like this before. Yet he knew that he was past due for another vision quest, so he sat down on the cold tile floor crossed legged. He forced himself to slow his breath and he closed his eyes. He did not realize he had smiled as he saw Harry Kim introduce himself to his animal guide. His guide's response was to lick Harry's cheek...


	57. Chapter 57

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina Walburn

Coming Home

Prelude to the Cliffhanger

Mark violently suppressed the urge to throw up at yet another billboard with his ex-fiancé's smiling face on it in uniform. _ He_ shook his head. _He_ had been the one who had given up on Kathryn. _He_ had been the one to end the relationship and send her the "Dear John" letter. _He_ had also had seven years to get used to the idea of her not only not being in his life, but never setting forth on Federation soil again.

She was born into Starfleet. She would always be a product of Starfleet, just like her father, Admiral Edward Janeway had been. But Chakotay? He was not fit for Starfleet. Even if that man had been exonerated, he was still a criminal in his eyes. He snorted as he recalled that the Indian was a hero only due to Kathryn. _He_ was the reason she had been in the Delta Quadrant!! But he believed that in time that Chakotay would be exposed for the fraud that he was. He was not worth wasting himself on trying to eliminate. After all, he had already changed his allegiance when the Federation and Starfleet had given away his home world. It would just be a matter of time before the Federation or most likely Starfleet made a decision that the Indian would not agree with... The former Maquis had shown that his loyalty changed as soon as he was put to the test. Sure, the big guy had proven his loyalty in the Delta Quadrant, ONLY because he had been forced too.

He had to admit that Seven was a beauty and quite the catch. He smirked as he recollected that Chakotay had dumped the blonde almost as soon as the starship had made it back to Earth. Chakotay was a rebel but he was also pathetic. He had heard the rumors of the former Maquis being Kathryn's lap dog for over half a decade. Half a decade! Kathryn was left over's. But Seven was the winning lotto ticket. She was everyman's dream. But somebody had to pay for the heartbreak that he endured for so long. He did not fault Kathryn for sticking to her morals despite being in the Delta Quadrant, but the people who had kept her from him would pay.


	58. Chapter 58

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek

Disclaimer: I do not own Trek.

Bina Walburn

Coming Home

The Cliffhanger

Kathryn Janeway was dancing with Owen at Hershey Park when she felt a sudden chill go down her spine. She knew almost instinctively that the area of her brain that was stimulated whenever she had a vision quest was about to go into overtime.

Owen looked at her with a questioning raised eyebrow as she exhaled her breath rather noisily. She shook her head and let him lead her to a chair. The last thing she recalled was Owen gently leading her to the couch in one small cabin on the Murder Mystery train.

She suddenly felt parched and was very hungry, despite eating earlier. When she closed her eyes, she saw herself on Voyager. She was registering the absence of anyone on the bridge. At the same moment, that she heard a sound and saw something out of the corner of her eye slip past the ready room doors.

She unconsciously rubbed her stomach as she made haste to whoever was in her ready room without her permission. The first image she saw was herself sitting on her couch and rubbing Chakotay's spirit guide affectionately. It was KJ, but it was not exactly herself.

She noticed almost immediately that she other self weighed was about five pounds heavier, and her hair was shorter and completely grey. She mentally frowned as she whispered "the admiral."

The older version of herself continued to rub the Indian's spirit guide. She did not seem nonplussed, and she did not have a reason to be either. She gave her younger version a not so congenial smile as she gestured with her other hand to sit next to her. The pregnant Kathryn arched an eyebrow and shook her head at the animal.

"What are you doing here?"

The older admiral gave her counterpart a withering look. "You have to ask after all this time? How can you not remember Chakotay's animal guide?"

Kathryn rubbed her stomach. She frowned as she said, "I know who the guide is but why is the animal always in my quests? I need my animal!"

Her counter part gave the animal an exasperated look as she shook her head. "Quiet demanding isn't she? I wonder how she got home."

The younger KJ was not amused. She assumed the commanding posture. She put her head high and her hands on her hips.

The elder admiral smirked and got up and mirrored her actions. "That will not work on me."

She was rewarded with the death glare.

She rolled her eyes and said; "That will not work on me either. Got anything else? Remember I AM you."

The younger self shook her head. "I was never this conceited!"

The animal guide choose that moment to awake from the cat nap and looked at both Kathryns.

In an effort to distract the white haired admiral, she spoke to the animal. "Where is my animal guide? I want to talk to him please."

The guide seemed to laugh. "I ate him."

The elder admiral laughed.

The younger one was not amused. "Not that again!" She looked around the room and then back to the animal who said "He tasted just like chicken!"

Younger Kathryn refused to be baited any longer. "You are a liar! Chakotay is a vegetarian and never has tasted chicken."

"Well maybe he tasted like mushroom soup! It could have been worse. He could have tasted like Leola root."

Younger Kathryn gave the animal the death glare.

The elder KJ shook her head. "I already told you that would NOT work here."

The pregnant Janeway was losing her patience. She turned to her elder self as she spoke. "Where is everyone? Why is my ship empty?"

The grey haired admiral shook shrugged her shoulders at the same time the animal licked the younger Janeway's face.

The elder Janeway gave the animal a sad look. "She does not understand does she?"

The present day Kathryn was spared having to respond as a hysterical and sobbing Sam Wildman ran into the ready room and almost ran over the animal. Sam was trying to talk but was incoherent. She reached out to touch Kathryn's slightly swollen belly. She cried out, "My baby!"

Young KJ gave her a puzzled look as she looked at her friend. "It is Chakotay's baby. You already know that."

That just made Sam more upset. "My baby!"

Kathryn advanced on the animal with a panicked look. "The baby is mine right! Not hers? Just what am I carrying?"

"You are carrying your spirit guide!" That was from the animal.

KJ ignored him she turned first to her elder self and then back to Sam.

"My Naomi is dead!" Sam cried as she ran out of the ready room.

KJ let a tear escape from her eye as she turned back to her companions. "We saved the other Naomi. She cannot be dead!"

KJ started to run after her friend as the animal reminded her that running was not good for a pregnant woman. She slowed her speed. As soon as she exited the ready room, she lost sight of her friend who seemed to have disappeared.

She hurriedly checked the rooms that the children of Voyager had inhabited but she could not find even one child or teen from Voyager. In each the former children's room was one Bajoran child instead of the sample of children that they had brought back from them the Delta Quadrant. She almost ran back into the ready room where her elder self and the animal had not moved. "Where are the children?" Why in each child's rooms are there a malnourished and unkempt Bajoran? We did not have Bajoran children on our ship in the Delta Quadrant."

The elder Janeway looked at the animal and then her counterpart. "She still does not understand."

The animal again tasted the younger Janeway on her cheek. "She must be made to understand as she is pregnant and too much excitement could cause her to miscarry."

The younger Janeway looked panicked. Those Bajoran children look like they are lost and they look out of place here."

The guide gave her a piercing stare. "Just like you."

KJ gave her best friend's guide a pleading look. "I want to help them. The Dominion War is over. Are all of their families dead?

Where are their families?" KJ rubbed her slightly swollen belly.

The guide sighed as the elder Janeway rolled her eyes at her younger self and nodded as she looked the animal I the eyes.

The guide turned back to the pregnant Kathryn and spoke. "Right here in this room."

End of Part One

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**TO BE CONTINUED…**


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